"Gift" from my Parents (rant)

SunBride · April 3, 2009

Reading your initial post I totally agreed with you it was unfair for your parents to tell you this was a gift to you. But at the same time, I think I would be greatful that they paid for your sisters, because at least it ensured that they were there. Plus they paid for you too, so yeah, although that means all 3 of you are on an equal footing (you all got a free trip) and on the one hand you didn't really get anything special (i.e. different from your sisters) as a wedding gift, on the other hand it was helpful to you that they paid for you and your sisters so it could definitely count as a gift (but they should not rub in your face that they paid for your sisters!)

But then after reading about how rich they are, well, if I was in your shoes I would definitely be POd about not getting a seperate gift. I don't want to be greedy, but like you said, basically they paid for a trip for all 3 kids, and for your sisters it's just a freebie but for you it's suppose to count as a wedding gift? Doesn't seem very fair if they can more than afford to get you something else.

CaboBride2010 · April 3, 2009

im just wondering, if your Mom has shrugged off the issue when you try bring it up...what are you trying to get out of this by going to your parents about it? I just mean this as will this just cause more stress and cause family fights and in that case is it better to try let it pass as much as it may sting? It may be a fight not worth picking in my opinion

~*Kathy*~ · April 3, 2009

SunBride - Oh I agree, I was very glad to have my sisters there but the real "salt-in-the-wound" thing for me about them being there for FREE and getting a week-long vacation for FREE was that they moped around the resort all week and whined about being bored even though I did my best to entertain them...they weren't even that grateful to my parents for the trip!! (Again little sister moreso than older sister, at least older sis got her scuba diving certification which she was genuinely thrilled about so that was cool).

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaboBride2010

im just wondering, if your Mom has shrugged off the issue when you try bring it up...what are you trying to get out of this by going to your parents about it? I just mean this as will this just cause more stress and cause family fights and in that case is it better to try let it pass as much as it may sting? It may be a fight not worth picking in my opinion

I'm going to my mom about this because it is the principle of the matter...something that happens all the time in our family. The kids that work hard, do well, and don't generally complain or ask for help get nothing while the kids that are not hard-working and aren't grateful get everything (case-in-point my one step brother and my little sister). I haven't really brought it up with my mom in a while because like you said, it won't get me anywhere. It's nice to be able to vent to my BDW ladies about it though.

CaboBride2010 · April 3, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by paraisobeachbride2009

I'm going to my mom about this because it is the principle of the matter...something that happens all the time in our family. The kids that work hard, do well, and don't generally complain or ask for help get nothing while the kids that are not hard-working and aren't grateful get everything (case-in-point my one step brother and my little sister). I haven't really brought it up with my mom in a while because like you said, it won't get me anywhere. It's nice to be able to vent to my BDW ladies about it though.

Ok that makes sense

sorry I was saying that to be rude I was just asking and now I totally get what you mean by going to your Mom about this, she needs to understand how maybe what she thought was a nice idea came across not so great...but of course we are always here for you to vent

cougs · April 4, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by paraisobeachbride2009

SunBride - Oh I agree, I was very glad to have my sisters there but the real "salt-in-the-wound" thing for me about them being there for FREE and getting a week-long vacation for FREE was that they moped around the resort all week and whined about being bored even though I did my best to entertain them...they weren't even that grateful to my parents for the trip!!

OMG!!! that would have made me furious. and hello? how are you "bored" at a resort? oh i get it: it must be that laying around doing absolutely nothing isn't out of the ordinary for them, so they don't know how to appreciate it, lol.

~*Kathy*~ · April 4, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by mummergirl

OMG!!! that would have made me furious. and hello? how are you "bored" at a resort? oh i get it: it must be that laying around doing absolutely nothing isn't out of the ordinary for them, so they don't know how to appreciate it, lol.

lmao pretty much! You should have heard my step-dad...all he did was bitch and moan about how bored he was and how boring the resort was. He's a retired veterinarian/farmer so I guess he's used to the "always doing something" lifestyle and doesn't know how to relax but I was so hurt that they didn't seem to enjoy it as much as I had hoped they would. They (my family) basically made me feel like they're only doing this to shut me up and they would have been much happier if I had had it back home. My step-dad even said stuff like this to my in-laws: (who go on vacation every winter just to get away and unwind) "I don't know how anyone can just sit on their ass all day and do nothing". Like WTF?! It's bad enough DH's parents aren't my biggest fans and then my parents have to insult them (perhaps inadvertently, perhaps not) on their vacation? Ugh!!!

cougs · April 4, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by paraisobeachbride2009

lmao pretty much! You should have heard my step-dad...all he did was bitch and moan about how bored he was and how boring the resort was. He's a retired veterinarian/farmer so I guess he's used to the "always doing something" lifestyle and doesn't know how to relax but I was so hurt that they didn't seem to enjoy it as much as I had hoped they would. They (my family) basically made me feel like they're only doing this to shut me up and they would have been much happier if I had had it back home. My step-dad even said stuff like this to my in-laws: (who go on vacation every winter just to get away and unwind) "I don't know how anyone can just sit on their ass all day and do nothing". Like WTF?! It's bad enough DH's parents aren't my biggest fans and then my parents have to insult them (perhaps inadvertently, perhaps not) on their vacation? Ugh!!!

haha well my FI is totally not a beach person, so other than drinking and swimming in the pool, he would probably get a little bored, lol. that's why i *have to* let him bring his golf clubs (free greens fees when staying at dreams). did your resort not offer stuff to do? there seems to be plenty to do all day at dreams, and it's in walking distance to a ton of stuff, so i should be ok. i seriously just can't imagine anyone complaining about a VACATION!

Hartyt509 · April 4, 2009

Lol FMIL's new hubby is like that he can twist on 21 that bugger. If i hear one moan I swear i'm telling him to STFU I didn't even want him there lol

I wanted to go to Bali where my dad is but after FMIL said she would go there for a month!! yes a month!! I scratched that idea lol It really hurts but my dad is even less patient than me lol I could just see what would happen. He would twist my dad would tell him to shut it, FMIL would join in and my dad would put them both on their arses, FI would try and get old of my dad and then i'd beat his brains in because NO FUCKER touches my dad lol and i'd be screaming annulment lol

So you have my sympathy chick but if it makes you feel better my 2 weeks in paradise will be hell on earth lol what with twistie knickers (FMIL's hubby), the angel of death (FMIL) and my lot who take no prisonners lol on yeah and FI sulking because i've told him to act his age more than once lmao

Bet you wish you were coming eh!! lmao I know that was a total hijack but thought it might make you laugh lmao even if its all freaking true lol

~*Kathy*~ · April 4, 2009

mummergirl - That's the thing, the Iberostar has tons to do!! They have a golf course too!! Sigh, I don't know...I guess there's just no pleasing some people. They did do an excursion to Xcaret which I think they really enjoyed so that's good but overall I don't think they had a ton of fun. But yeah the Iberostar has all sorts of games and sports activities for people, sometimes I think my step-dad's idea of fun is sitting around all day watching Judge Judy and Jerry Springer on the boob tube lol..

harty - LOL oh yes, that sounds just lovely!! I feel for YOU too because I have crazy in-laws and the things they've said to me over the last 8.5 years would shock and disgust you lol I promise. *HUG* I'll be thinking of you while you're gone lol I hope you tell us all about it hehe.