Venting AGAIN about people's reactions...
Posted 30 March 2009 - 10:29 PM
later I get texts from my brother (he's 21), going like this
"You might consider a interpersonal relations class before you quit college"
(for the record, i'm getting my master's in biomedical science and will be GRADUATING [not quitting] in August) I asked him why.
"I talked to [my MOH] on facebook. You need to ask yourself if the location of your wedding is more important than all your family and friends"
"Let's look at the guest list for the bride. Mother, check and that's it. I thought you would have more character than that"
- so apparently my dad isn't going now and wtf about having not having character because we want a destination wedding?!
My response: "Look, I know you can't understand it. But our wedding really isn't about the rest of you - it's about US and what WE want. Five years from now, none of you will remember a thing from it but we will"
He says" "Well that's what I want to know. You care more about the location than family. FAMILY is what life is all about, at least for me"
So I pretty much said F-you and that it wasn't about him, or my friend, or grandma -it was about us. If they can go and afford it, great. If not, shut the hell up and we'll enjoy the party without them.
Then I get on facebook and my "MOH" just put her status as "just going to move on...simple as that"
There's been a LOT of drama with my family over my fiance - they don't like him and have tried to control the relationship from day 1. They're all pretty manipulative but hadn't said anything really since the engagement - other than a minor guilt trip laid on by my mom because my grandparents can't go. But this really really ticks me off. It's our wedding! Where one earth does he get the audacity to say that I don't have character because we want a destination wedding! It's not just about the location - it's also about the money. This is way cheaper than having a wedding at home and my parents haven't offered a dime so we're on our own! I'm so angry right now that i'm in the mind to head to vegas this weekend and leave them all out completely. Isn't this about US and what we want?! Isn't this about what makes US happy?! GAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted 30 March 2009 - 10:34 PM
The exact same conversation happened between my brother and I.. and,
My MOH cancelled on me 3 months before the big day!
I truly think that we are doing the right thing though, so don't be discouraged!!
Posted 30 March 2009 - 10:43 PM
When my family found out about our destination wedding a really close cousin of mine told me that if I expected people to go to the wedding that I needed to change locations because why would someone pay to go to your wedding.
My point to all this is that everyone is going to talk and you will be surprise at the people who are doing the talking because 9 times out of 10 its the closest family or friends.
What does FI say about the whole situation?
Posted 30 March 2009 - 10:44 PM
Sorry if this is harsh but if i was one of the people invited to your wedding and found out you were saying the wedding is only about you and your FI and no one else and you didnt care because others wouldnt remember your wedding in 5 years (which is SO untrue) I would just not go even if I had the money to go. Just such a negative vibe is being given off.
I would just tell your brother that he can plan his own wedding one day in the way that he wishes and that you are sorry he feels the way he does but it is hard to please everyone. Just try not to be too negative about it and also I would stay away from saying that no one else matters in the planning of your wedding, I know what you are trying to say but there can be better ways to get that point across.
But again sorry that people are being like this to you, wedding planning should be fun.
Posted 30 March 2009 - 11:06 PM
My fiance also thinks that we shouldn't sacrifice our wedding dream because my younger brother thinks it's a bad idea and is giving me crap. His whole family has been more than supportive and wonderful.
Posted 31 March 2009 - 09:25 AM
Posted 31 March 2009 - 09:26 AM
Posted 31 March 2009 - 09:46 AM
Do I feel bad? Noooope. I laid it all out for them and if they can't make it I'll post pics on facebook for them. lol.
I say stand your ground. Maybe tell your brother that you would love for everyone to make it but obviously you are not selfish in the respect that you EXPECT everyone to struggle financially when they really can't do it. I always just try to put a positive spin on it and be sensitive to their feelings. THat usually gets them off my back because what could they possibly say to that?
Posted 31 March 2009 - 10:18 AM
Man- yesterday must have been a crazy day for everyone! I had issues with my family too (Dad's crying poverty- when he makes WAY MORE than enough to pay for the trip) and still hasn't booked (wedding is about a month away!). there's only 10 people going (including FI and I) and mom says- well if i knew no one was coming i wouldn't have gotten such a fancy dress!
whatever- you need to try to not let them get to you. i'm sure you've given everybody more than enough time to prepare and they're just looking for excuses and things to bitch about. I hope for your sake they get over it soon- Good Luck!
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