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#1 MERRYME

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    Posted 11 May 2007 - 10:25 AM

    Girls I just need to get this out. I'm really stressed right now and have basically no one to talk to. That is NOt true I can talk to family and friends but right now I just want to REALLY vent withought watching what I say because I don't want to affect the way friends and family think of hubby. He IS a great guy just a buthead right now... So with your permission I know I can really vent with you guys.

    So... we are in the middle of building a home in the Baja. Everything is going well but as we have to decide on the finishings ther are sooo many choices and HUbby just refuses to even think about it. He just doesn't want to give me any imput just says do what you want. He has horrible taste any way :) but I would like some help as he knows all the basic construction issues that I don't.

    We had a huge fight this morning because I chose a $350 dls above counter sink (gorgeous marble) and had to on my own decide the counter height and everything. So we are walking through the building and he starts inspecting the master bathroom. So he walks in and starts seeing a bunch of mistakes -- yes they really are all my fault but I just didn't know better and HE does. Some being the counter and another I had them install the pipes for the shower too low. How was I supposed to know that the floor in the shower has to be raise because of drainage isssues? So the shower head is going to be a little over 6 feet not bad for me I'm only 5'5" but since it is a rain shower it needs to be higher.

    The counter is definitely too high and will have to be lowered and the pipes will have to be adjusted ... so dummy me points out "well it is lucky they have not poured the cement over the counter it can still be moved and the wall can be opened and the pipe placed higher" (I'm the glass is half full mentality) so he just goes off on me ... and justs starts going on and on about the mistakes costing us time and money and did I just not understand. So I go off and tell him that he needs to be more involved as I am not technically capacitated to be making these decitions and he is and we get into really bad shouting match. So right now he isn't talking to me and I'm not either.

    AGHHHHH... I just want to scream.
    Alegria Inn - Todos Santos
    22nd of December 2006

    #2 TATrisha

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    Posted 11 May 2007 - 10:29 AM

    Boys are dumb. Throw rocks at them.

    No seriously, if he knows about this stuff, and he's going to critique everything you do, he BETTER give you his opinion when you ask for it.

    ~Trisha~

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    #3 TammyB

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      Posted 11 May 2007 - 10:34 AM

      Well its his own d@mn fault IMO. He needs to step up to the plate and handle the buiding issues, and you can handle the decor stuff (IE what color counters or something like that) It's not fair that he's making you do everything.

      #4 CourtneyV

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        Posted 11 May 2007 - 10:36 AM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by Tlseege
        Boys are dumb. Throw rocks at them.

        lol


        Ok - this is suppose to be a fun and exciting experience not one which you get blamed for everything. Sure, you made these decisions, but with his help this could have been avoided! Vent away! There is not much I can do in terms of advice, but I definately sympathise and nod in agreement and hubby's mistake!
        Happily Married since May 9, 2008
        Proud Mama to Evelyn Eileen since June 8, 2010

        #5 RaydensMama

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          Posted 11 May 2007 - 10:37 AM

          Sorry hes putting so much stress on you hun! That is totally not fare for him to be blaming you! Really, if he wants things done a certain way he should be helping you out! I hope he will now smarten up and give you the help that you need, considering this is both your home!

          #6 soulmates

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            Posted 11 May 2007 - 10:47 AM

            I'm sorry that he hasn't been helping you out!!! Its supposed to be fun, but apparently he doesn't feel like having a little fun I guess!!! I wouldn't worry about the fight because its so obvious that it's his fault.

            #7 tvt

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              Posted 11 May 2007 - 10:59 AM

              Oh no, that sounds stressful It sucks that he's not helping you make these decisions - especially the construction stuff that most girls have no idea about! I wouldn't have known to place the showerhead high because the tub had to be elevated.

              #8 TATrisha

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              Posted 11 May 2007 - 11:00 AM

              They do say that your relationship can withstand anything if it can withstand building a house. It's supposed to be fun... but it was TOTALLY stressful. Agreed that there was fun mixed in there and I couldn't be happier... but it was stressful. Shawn actually didn't want anything to do with the designs either. We were at a design studio for 6 hours one day to pick everything out... he was done after thirty minutes. So, for the rest of the time I picked everything out and when I asked his opinion he just shrugged his shoulders. It's kind of like wedding planning, men just don't care until something goes wrong!

              ~Trisha~

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              #9 A10CalGal

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                Posted 11 May 2007 - 12:36 PM

                Well, first of all, I'm so excited for you guys - YOU ARE BUILDING A HOUSE IN BAJA! When can I vist??

                Seriously though, he's the man, he should be taking care of the man things - the construction things. JEEZ!!! Appeal to his ego, tell him that you just don't understand these construction things & really need him to take the lead on that part.

                #10 Adamsgrrl

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                  Posted 11 May 2007 - 12:45 PM

                  I would go with the "since your so smart why don't you handle it" approach like everyone else suggested. I would tell him that since you made all these "mistakes" he better take over from now on unless he wants more "mistakes". Just give up and let him take care of it all... if he doesn't want to then the house won't be finished... I bet he'll smarten up and start doing some work!!

                  I know exactly how you feel ~ except instead of building a house, its planning a wedding.

                  Sometimes I wish they made choke chains for men so you could make them listen to you.




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