I totally agree. I do not feel the kids need to be there. The ceremony is about the joining of husband and wife. The kids will come and go through the years to suit "their" needs. It is not selfish to live the life you want for yourself and to make the memories you and your future spouse need, want and deserve to have. The kids can and will possbily be a distraction- at ANY age. Let you're love shine as man and wife. Call me selfish- but also call me honest. I want my man to myself...just this one time. I don't want to be a Mom or Step-Mom, daughter, friend, sister... I want to be a woman and a bride to my husband. It is not wrong, if it feels right.
I also believe in family- and I love all the kids, my parents and my friends. I gove 100 percent to all my relationships. We are always together and are very close but I still believe the relationship between two people should be celebrated they way they see fit. Through age appropriate communication- I say be honest and be true to yourself. If you want to elope, do it. Maybe just maybe, one of the kids will want to do the same in the future- would you make them feel gultiy about it or would you celebrate them living their dream??
For all those who say they are hurt and unforgiving, I feel that is selfish because you are making the people you care about feel guilty because they did not cater to YOU on their special day.... stop stealing their dream! Their joy! Celebrate that love was found and a marriage was created!!