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Am I engaged or what???


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#11 JulieG

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    Posted 13 April 2009 - 08:45 PM

    My situation was EXACTLY the same as yours. Except that when we decided we would get married and when, he gave me a big hug after and said "so we are going to get married" and I stopped hugging him and said "just so you know, you still need to propose to me". He was actually surprised, he thought that was what just happened, lol and I told him no, having the talk is not the same as proposing. So, I did not consider us engaged until he proposed to me. He did surprise me, which was hard to do since we had had the talk, but he surprised me by proposing on his birthday, I totally did not expect that.

    So, I suggest you have a conversation with him one day and talk about how its great that you are talking about getting married and set a date, but you are really looking forward to the day he actually proposes to you, just so he knows that is what you want. Men need to be told these things sometimes, men can be a little dumb when it comes to details.

    #12 DGG

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      Posted 13 April 2009 - 09:09 PM

      We did things sort of backwards too - we had dated for 9 years and spoke about getting married "some day" for a long time. After we were finally done with our schooling/training and had real jobs, we finally decided this past fall we were ready. So we sort of just had the same talk and sort of set a date and began planning the wedding. I also wanted to help pick out my ring (he knows how picky I am so he was happy about that) - and we looked for a ring for several months. We had our resort booked, contract signed, some guests booked, and I think our photographer booked before I actually had a ring :)
      I did tell him I wanted a real proposal and he had to surprise me still - and he did :) He planned a fake proposal first with a hot air balloon ride, romantic dinner - then nothing! Then a few days later we had a nice dinner and he surprised me with a dozen roses and had a really sweet speech prepared - it was really romantic even it was silly b/c we had already done so much for our wedding ..
      So I think you are engaged but if you still want the proposal tell him that :)

      #13 bride7474

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        Posted 13 April 2009 - 09:10 PM

        Most definitely sounds like you are engaged to me! You had "the talk"

        #14 Soon2beWed09

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          Posted 15 April 2009 - 12:44 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by big3n09
          Yes, it's good to know you’re not alone. The question I hate is "where is your ring", again I have expensive taste but I also know how to prioritize as well. I will get one when we can we have other things on the table right now that's priority over a ring. Not sure if you guys listen to Michael Basiden (sp) radio talk show but today's topic he asked ladies would they want a ring or a house and more ladies actually said a ring. my opinion on that was, that's part of the reason we are in this current economy.
          I hate that question 2 "where's ur ring"..ughh sometimes I think about buying a nice ring until I get my offical ring..lol I was telling FI that last night he said why do it and laugh "I think he thinks Im crazy..lol" Anyway some people think Im living in a fantasy world since I have no ring and planning a wedding...I'm tired of caring what people thinks..We know its real and set a date..so

          #15 Sammygurlj

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            Posted 15 April 2009 - 03:07 PM

            FI and I talked about getting married, he gave me a ring but didn't ask me to marry him, then one day he just stopped me and said "will you marry me?". I kinda looked at him funny but I guess he didn't really ask before so he was just making sure I understood. Lol. I told him of course, I'm wearing the ring.

            Anywho, when he gives you a ring, if he doesn't ask you, you shoud remind him just to make sure. Lol.

            #16 Sammygurlj

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              Posted 15 April 2009 - 03:14 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Soon2beWed09
              Anyway some people think Im living in a fantasy world since I have no ring and planning a wedding...
              Lol. I went to try on dresses about a month ago and my ring was being sized so I didn't have it on and I heard one of the girls say "is she even getting married?" Whatever, I know what's going on and that's all that matters.

              #17 ehegwer

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                Posted 15 April 2009 - 03:20 PM

                As a guy, I'm gonna say no - you probably aren't engaged.

                Who has he told? His parents? His buddies? His co-workers Is he happy? I know I was on cloud 9 after I proposed.

                As a wedding professional, it's pretty clear to me who is engaged, vs who wants to have a wedding, if you know what I mean.

                #18 big3n09

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                  Posted 15 April 2009 - 03:59 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by ehegwer
                  As a guy, I'm gonna say no - you probably aren't engaged.

                  Who has he told? His parents? His buddies? His co-workers Is he happy? I know I was on cloud 9 after I proposed.

                  As a wedding professional, it's pretty clear to me who is engaged, vs who wants to have a wedding, if you know what I mean.
                  Yes I do know what you mean and as I stated in my post his parents, friends, and co-workers, he even asked one friend to be his BM already, they ALL know and I did not tell them. As far as he is concerned we would have been married 3 years ago or we could go to the JOP tomorrow but I was not ready 3 years ago and I don't like the idea of JOP. I was introduced to him by one of my good girlfriends and she told me years ago how they had a conversation and he said that I was the one. I really think it's more that in his mind he will officially ask at the same time he gives me the ring. Once before he said he was going to do it at the engagement party with everyone there and I told him that I don't want to be on the spot like that. So we will continue planning and looking foward to our big day!
                  4/1/11 in St. Kitts at the Marriott I married my best-friend!!!

                  #19 big3n09

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                    Posted 15 April 2009 - 04:05 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by Soon2beWed09
                    I hate that question 2 "where's ur ring"..ughh sometimes I think about buying a nice ring until I get my offical ring..lol I was telling FI that last night he said why do it and laugh "I think he thinks Im crazy..lol" Anyway some people think Im living in a fantasy world since I have no ring and planning a wedding...I'm tired of caring what people thinks..We know its real and set a date..so
                    If you don't have an issue with waiting then why waste the money unless you just want to. I am more concerned about him asking then having a ring because I know I will get one or I may decide not to. I'm only speaking about the engagement ring because we are def getting wedding rings and that's fine too if we only wear those if that's what we decide to do. The rings I looked at and liked were expensive and I doubt if I will feel comfortable wearing it to work anyhow so now I'm wondering is it going to be a waste of money.
                    4/1/11 in St. Kitts at the Marriott I married my best-friend!!!

                    #20 Soon2beWed09

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                      Posted 16 April 2009 - 08:47 AM

                      I guess this thread is closed now since she is banned...I wanted to know how her story turned out..




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