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Official wedding fight


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#1 Soon To Be Mrs. Gomez

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    Posted 23 March 2009 - 07:46 PM

    So I'm feeling very overwhelmed and I get grouchy easily with all the planning. My FI does not like this and he called me out yesterday evening and I just blew up. I went off and told him how I'm handling all the details and he just sits back, which is for the most part true, but I guess I've been holding back alot of feelings. Well I hurt his feelings and we argued for a while. It felt horrible because we have not really argued all at about the wedding, but I cannot get over my stress. Advice, please.

    #2 DanielleNDerek

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      Posted 23 March 2009 - 07:52 PM

      When i was two months away from my wedding I was feeling overwhelmed. I had so much to do still and so little time to do it all. I was getting really irritated with my fi (now dh) because i felt like i was doing. I would flip on him over every little thing until we had a pretty big fight over it. And you know what happened, i told him how i had so much to do and i was really stressing about getting it done. So he asked if he could help with anything so i gave him a couple of things to do. and they werent big things but it really helped to at least get a couple of things off my plate. I also had my sister help me with a couple of other things. Ask for help. Tell your fi you dont think you can handle all these details and ask him to do a few things.
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      #3 Erika J

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        Posted 23 March 2009 - 09:42 PM

        Bummer. I am sure he is feeling some stress of his own in other ways and everyone becomes sensitive when they are pulled in many different directions. Just approach him again with your list when you are feeling like you can be level headed and determine what he can do, what you can do, what you can do with out, and what you can delegate to friends and family.

        At least you will be in Cabo in less than 2 months and you can relax on the beach with a ( or 5 ) margaritas.

        #4 litl_april

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          Posted 24 March 2009 - 02:18 AM

          I can relate to where you're coming from. I've discovered that as the wedding date is nearing the stress level seems to be rising. The worst for FI and I was during invitation creating time...we were both very on edge at this time. Cruel words were flying, I was breaking in to tears, yikes. Haha, this lovely (PMS) week, I almost felt as though we were back making invitations as the littlest things are causing me to break down (worst part is I'm normally not even close to this bad) and this has been causing FI to freak out because he thinks I'm overreacting...and tells me so...in turn causing the water works to go even more! HA! Lovely woman problems huh?
          Anyways...the point is, it came down to calming down and then us discussing things mostly calmly. When I explained how I feel like there's still so much to do, he actually pulled out some paper, our checklist, and asked me what needs to be done and then asked what needs to be done soon. It resulted in him going with me to search for things (in stores he doesn't like lol) so that we could get it checked off. Once he understood what the problems were in my view, it was a lot easier to get him on board. I know, it's not easy, specifically when it feels like they don't get it, but calming down and then talking with him should help! Good luck, hope things go better!!

          #5 Jenamie

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            Posted 24 March 2009 - 02:39 AM

            Same thing here, with my FI being long distnce I never asked for help even though its a DW I never thought that he could use the phone/internet too hehe

            So finaly I fliped out on him for doing all the work when it was him who wanted the wedding (I wanted to elope in vegas hehe ) and he told me just give him a list and he would get it done... turns out he was the one to find the baker and the florist!

            #6 DarcyJAde

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              Posted 24 March 2009 - 09:10 AM

              Hang in there! Men are MEN! I was just going to ask any of you ladies if you have given your FI's tasks that they haven't followed through on. If so, how did you get them to do it?
              I have been asking my FI for 2 months to give me the address of some of his co-workers. ( I work there too and ended up asking HIS peers myself). There are still some addresses missing (they never got our STD's) and now I have my invitations. I guess they just won't be getting invites. I am sick of nagging. It's frustrating when I am the one doing all the planning and 1 or 2 things he can't even do!!

              I think this stress is just part of wedding planning, unfortunately. Hang in there, it will all be worth it soon enough.
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              #7 IslamoradaBride

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                Posted 24 March 2009 - 11:05 AM

                I had to turn into a nagging bitch too-- just to get him to do some basic tasks. Of all things, the thing we fought about the most was the dance lessons! He never wanted to practice and blamed me for it. Which spiraled into an argument over how I am responsible for everything in this wedding, and that I shouldn't have to beg him to do every little thing. He is being helpful again and we haven't fought since. I think you just need to get it out there and let him know that BOTH of you are getting married, so BOTH of you need to contribute to the planning.

                #8 Andi

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                  Posted 24 March 2009 - 11:16 AM

                  Hang in there and as others have said...ask for help!!!! My FI for the most part just really has no opinion on the minor details, but I show him what I am doing and ask him for help if for example, he is just sitting on the couch being lazy....I just ask him to help me and be useful while he is relaxing
                  Hang in there! Men are MEN! I was just going to ask any of you ladies if you have given your FI's tasks that they haven't followed through on. If so, how did you get them to do it?
                  I have been asking my FI for 2 months to give me the address of some of his co-workers. ( I work there too and ended up asking HIS peers myself). There are still some addresses missing (they never got our STD's) and now I have my invitations. I guess they just won't be getting invites. I am sick of nagging. It's frustrating when I am the one doing all the planning and 1 or 2 things he can't even do!!

                  I think this stress is just part of wedding planning, unfortunately. Hang in there, it will all be worth it soon enough.
                  haha! I had this same problem with my FI giving me his friends addresses, I finally just told him "if you don't get me the addresses by X date then they won't be invited and you won't be able to come back and be mad about it because I have been asking for these addresses for months!". he finally got them to me the next day! hahaha!

                  The only other thing that I completley left up to my FI was his attire...um yeah our wedding is one month away and we JUST ordered his suit last week because again he was being a slacker!!! on this too...I just let it not stress me out and told him if he didn't go to buy or order a suit he wouldn't have anything to wear!

                  #9 Hartyt509

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                    Posted 24 March 2009 - 04:37 PM

                    Yeah mine has done sod all either lol so now I've told him i'm doing nothing more and if he wants anything that isn't sorted he better do it i'm not lol

                    He's gone very quiet so with any luck he'll STFU lol

                    Just say look I don't want to fight with you but you have to help me otherwise some stuff won't happen, he'll help

                    #10 Soon To Be Mrs. Gomez

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                      Posted 24 March 2009 - 07:41 PM

                      Thanks everyone. It seems that I'm not the only one who is feeling the stress and getting frustrated with FI. I would like to say that we did speak last night and he was apologetic for not being as involved in the planning as I am and said that from now until the wedding day, he is going to help with more tasks and qoute: "I'll do anything you ask".
                      Let's see how this turns out.




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