Engagement parties???

[big3n09]

What is the proper etiquette on engagement parties? FI's parents said we can use their house but I'm not sure I want to for different reasons. If we have it at a venue do we provide everything, can you do a cash bar? I can only remembe one that I have been to and it was like a cookout. Any information would be appreciated, thanks in advance!

[tylersgirl]

We threw ourselves an engagement party but we made sure to put no gifts please on the invitation. We had it in a private room on the top floor of a bar. We paid the bar to do appetizers and we brought in a cake. We also gave away custom koozies. We decided to do a cash bar and everything worked out perfect. People had the best time. My friend took care of the RSVP's and I don't think anyone knew that we threw it for ourselves, haha. We just wanted to get everyone together and party-we didn't want any presents. =) Good luck with your party!

[KimmyG]

GREAT topic, thanks for posting. I'm wondering similar things: who throws the party? My fiance's parents live in a small town, so do we have 2 parties? How long after getting engaged/before the wedding is the proper time to have the party

[sofylina]

We got engaged in July and had one in August, when my FH parent's were visiting. We only had familly, and a few friends that are coming to the wedding.

We went to a loungy restaurant, and paid for the full meal.

Guests took care of their drinks.

As for gifts, most people gave us cards with cash...which we didn't expect, but helped pay the supper bill.

So much fun! Would love to have another one

[*HOLLY*]

Ive been debating about having one not sure yet. If we do it will be at our home with just a bunch of family and friends. It will be more of a cookout and chill party than anything. Dont want to spend money really on it since there is so much going into the planning of our wedding anyways.

[Hoosierfan]

We just had ours this past Friday. Neither of our families live in the state, so 2 of my bridesmaids and another girlfriend got together to host it. They reserved space in a wine bar, paid for some appetizers, brought decorations and had cupcakes made. We only have about 30 guests locally, so it was a smaller affair and probably only cost each of them $50. We also asked for no gifts.

 

I've thrown a couple as part of local "bridesmaid" duty and we've done something similiar at a bar. I've also done one at someone's home where we give it a theme (stock the bar) and people bring a bottle of wine to drink and one for the couple. There, the hosts provided food and some beverages (but many people brought things to share).

 

I think you can have as many parties as you like (is that bad?)! We got engaged Dec. 23rd and our party was 3 months after. For us, my aunt offered to host one later for family and friends closer to where more family live (that will be more of a cookout/relaxed event). It's more of an engagement party/shower combo too.

[Soon To Be Mrs. Gomez]

My mom threw the party; purchasing the decorations, tabel rentals etc.... My aunt cooked all the food, my aunt paid for the cake and my FI and I paid for the champgne and wine.

[lolkitteh]

Quote:

Originally Posted by big3n09 If we have it at a venue do we provide everything, can you do a cash bar?

In terms of etiquette, a properly hosted party should never put a guest in a situation where they may have to reach for their wallets - this is in essence getting your guests to partially pay for a party you claim to be inviting them to and hosting.

WRT Cash bars, I know that most people will say that guests won't mind, or that it's common in their area, etc., and that's fine. Just know that you would be compromising etiquette if you have a cash bar, and that whenever you do that, you risk offending someone. By its nature, a cash bar (or any situation where a guest is asked to fund any part of the hosting) goes against the very grain of basic hospitality.

[teamtejeda]

We had out engagement party last May (we got engaged April 7th 200 and IT WAS SOOO MUCH FUN!! We partied til 1am...!

 

Basically, it was held at a mexican rest we go to all the time. Luckily for us we know the owners and they set up a special deal for us. We had a buffet with the option to buy a wristband aka OPEN BAR for $20 a person. I know thats a major steal and ppl were happy to do it esp when the food was free. It was on a Sunday so it was a private party but the MONDAY was Memorial Day so ppl could go out without worrying about work.

 

We got a lot of gifts which we told everyone NOT TO BRING GIFTS!! They were nice gifts though, wedding books, spa treatment for our "Stressful" planning, gift cards, cash, picture frames, wedding albums, etc.. We sent out Thank you cards as if it was any other occasion.

 

Our biggest reason for the party ***which my sister threw, with our help*** was so the 2 families could meet. We are from completely different backgrounds and we thought this would be a relaxed way for us to break the ice. Granted we are super close but our families havent had the chance to meet yet... THE PARTY ITSELF was awesome. We had a dj, cake, food, drinks and decor. I made my own invites hahaa because I am one crafty lady but it all worked out great. The rest was already decorated for the most part so I just had them bring balloons and we had a nice banner made that said CONGRATS.. etc.. and a cake made.

 

I think it varies on each family. Noone I know had an actual engagement party. If anything, we met the night whoever got engaged at a local bar and had drinks to celebrate. For our families our way was ideal. We also had the party without worry because we knew we wouldnt have a wedding anytime soon. I think having an engagement party only a few months before a wedding is slightly tacky... esp when you have a bridal and personal shower. ITs screams ME ME ME.. GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS lol. Well, not all cases but I know I would be like WOW.. if I had to go to all those events within a few months.

 

Anyway, have fun!! Congrats!

[big3n09]

 

Basically, it was held at a mexican rest we go to all the time. Luckily for us we know the owners and they set up a special deal for us. We had a buffet with the option to buy a wristband aka OPEN BAR for $20 a person. I know thats a major steal and ppl were happy to do it esp when the food was free. It was on a Sunday so it was a private party but the MONDAY was Memorial Day so ppl could go out without worrying about work.

 

So did you all pay the $20 per person for the wristbands for your guest?