Bridesmaid Drama- Need to vent
Posted 17 March 2009 - 09:38 AM
So one of my friends for 10 + years has been distant since I got engaged. She doesn't seem happy for me. If I try to talk about wedding stuff to her she just has a negative response. So I fianlly quit talking about it to her. I don't think this is fair though, I only have 3 bridemaids. I finally wrote her an e-mail about her distance, and she turned it around on me. Saying she feels like a 3rd wheel with my fiancee and I. Complaining that I bring him everywhere (which I don't.) WE all 3 work together, and I thought we were all friends. Also, she said that our friendship had changed a LONG time ago. Just some really unfair things. Things that maybe she should've said a while back. We are going to be talking in person soon about all this. Just trying to gather my thoughts.
The thing is, I know she didn't like being a bridesmaid in her 2 brothers wedding. So i have been sensitive to that. We haven't hashed things out completely yet. How do I know if she really wants to be my bridesmaid? It really hurts when the people closest to you can seem to be happy for you. Thanks for your advice.
Posted 17 March 2009 - 10:37 AM
Hopefully you will have a better outcome when you speak with your friend... and glad you vented as it always helps in making anyone feel better about the situation.
Posted 17 March 2009 - 12:10 PM
Posted 17 March 2009 - 01:06 PM
Hope this helps 8o)
Posted 17 March 2009 - 02:38 PM
While I can't relate as far as a close friend being Jealous, because thankfully, my best friends are nothing but supportive and my one friend who is a BM is traveling alone to Mexico beacuse her boyfriend is out of work..So my good friends are all good :-) But other friends are just plain Jealous!!
My one friend that I have known since high school used to piss me off, until I just let it go. She would "complain" that all I talked about was the Wedding (which is correct..I do always talk about it, hello!) But I made it a point to not do that when I was around her. And if I did, she changed the subject, quickly. I put up with it a while, but then I was like, I have been there fro ALL of my friends over the years. I am the first to plan something for them or with them, especially her and why the hell should I have to watch what I say about my Wedding because this girl is jealous and is with a loser who still lives at home with his mom waiting on him hand and foot?(For the past 6 years) After a couple more incidents I just stopped calling her.
She would call me and be like, Hello, are you still alive? what's going on stranger? and I would talk to her, but never long. It's not worth it and if your friends can't be happy for you, Genuinely happy, then they aren't your friends.
Now, this "friend" has joined the gym with me and one of my BM's, and she goes in the morning when we go and she is forced to listen and talk about the Wedding because alot of the times, that's what the topic of the morning is..Hahahahahaha
I say..Talk it out with your friend, But honestly...Anyone who loves you should be happy for you, no matter what is going on in their lives or even if they are a little Envious.
Posted 17 March 2009 - 03:07 PM
Posted 17 March 2009 - 03:09 PM
| Originally Posted by 2bebridejamaica |
Nope, we have not talked at all really. She emailed after the wedding to snoop mostly on who else went and where certain people were. I commented back on a few things.. but left her to wonder and try to dig out the info somewhere else. In an email she went on to say "It's too much work to hate you anymore".. NICE way to start an email right Everyone knows the game with her ... so mostly my friends will play nice when she comments on something to them on FB or MS. But it's for the best now I see. You can never make everyone happy and have the 3 sets of friends - friends forever- friends for right now - and friends you will one day meet.
Hope this helps 8o)
Posted 17 March 2009 - 03:36 PM
Can't be bothered to pretend anymore let them get on with it miserable gits!
Posted 17 March 2009 - 03:44 PM
Posted 17 March 2009 - 03:58 PM
long story short (too late) we are no longer friends, other than occasional emails and facebook. my fiance can't stand her (mostly because of how much he knows she hurt me by throwing our friendship away, but also because he thinks she's a tramp), and she was NOT invited to mexico for our wedding (and i had always thought she'd be my MOH!). she will be invited to our AHR only, as will her parents (who i adore).
i'm still hurt over it sometimes, and still feel weird about not even inviting her to the wedding. i don't let tom know because he would just be mad that i'm still letting her bother me.
just know that people come in and out of our lives for a reason.
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