Rehearsal Dinner - who to invite?

[DGG]

We were originally going to have a welcome party the night prior to the wedding and invite everyone coming, but unfortunately we have to try to scale back somewhere as we are way overbudget and more people are coming than we thought (including bringing children that we didn't invite and trying to find a way to include to be polite).

So, I was thinking we might change instead have a rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding. We have only told people about the night before dinner that what be invited either way, so we have only officialy invited people to the wedding.

But - we are having 55-60 people at the wedding - For our rehearsal dinner we would invite our wedding party, immediate family (including aunts/uncles/grandparents) and some really close friends. This would be about 40-45 people. Is this really bad?

The only ppl who wouldn't be invited to both would be his grandparent's siblings and their children (that we don't know anyway) and were only invited b/c his grandparents asked us to. I know this seems silly, but this ends up being 10-15 people and we need to cut somewhere.. I also like the idea of having only those close to us there for the rehearsal dinner, as that was what I really wanted for the whole thing..

[Rhonda]

Have you considered inviting only wedding party people (and significant others) and very close family members (parents and grandparents only, no aunts/uncles, cousins etc)? I'm not sure if that would help to reduce the number...In my opinion, if you are going to leave out only 10-15 people, then, I would just invite everyone or reduce your rehearsal dinner party.

If I were one of the few that were left out, I would probably feel a little hurt. If these people are willing to travel to your wedding, then, they should be included like everyone else. But, if you want to keep it more intimate, then, maybe you could just limit the rehearsal dinner so that people won't feel left out. Or, maybe you can opt to have a cocktail party (no dinner) for your welcome party..which may help reduce the cost

[scottgm2]

I am probally only inviting the wedding party. that way no one gets their feeling hurt and we can spend more money on the honeymoon.

[ksryan]

shoot we didnt even have aunts and uncles --- waaaay to many of them! we just had the wedding party, parents, siblings and grandparents. Everyone completely understood that a line has to be drawn somewhere. Actually the aunts/uncles from each seperate family made their own plans to go to dinner together anyhow.

[GoCubs!]

To keep it from getting out of hand I'm doing a rehearsal dinner for just the wedding party (and dates), our parents, and our siblings. After dinner we are hosting a cocktail party for all of our guests (there will be around 80). The rehearsal dinner is at no extra cost to us, and the cocktail party is very inexpensive so it's a good option for a large group like you are having.

[DarcyJAde]

I am in the same boat. About 50 people coming. A welcome dinner is included up to 35 people in our package. I think it would be rude to get rid of only 15. Maybe we will just do the immediate family and wedding party and then have a cocktail party. This is a tricky situation. When do you plan on telling people about the weclome party, and how?

[DGG]

Our decision, we spoke to our parents and they are going to host the rehearsal dinner. We told them the situation and they are going to decide, although I think they agree we should limit it to close family, bridal party, and some close friends. But at least that's not my decision anymore . We are going to send invites (from our parents) with our reminder postcards I made on vistaprint about a month before the wedding.

DarcyJAde - I think you do it as a "rehearsal dinner" and just have the included people, then have everyone meet later in the evening for a cocktail party if you can do that. I think only bridal party and immediate family should expect to be included - and you are including everyone in the cocktail party so I think that's fine.

I went to a wedding in Puerto Rico last year (FI's cousin) and only bridal party and close family were invited - which did only leave out about 15 ppl - I don't think other people expected anything differently and everyone acted like they were fine with it.

[Soon To Be Mrs. Gomez]

Ideally, I think only the wedding party is invited to rehearsal dinner so it would be easier budget wise because wedding parties are usually smaller in size. I'm going to have a rehearsal dinner for all my guests because most of my guests are staying at the same resort.