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Some Kids at AHR, but not others?


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#1 lgarner83

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    Posted 12 March 2009 - 11:27 AM

    I read the other "no Kids at reception" thread but my situation is a little different so let me try to explain! We are having a formal reception at a hall with catering, and slideshow and DJ...basically the whole shebang lol. FI has a huge close nit family which includes 6 children, then we have a 4 yrs old daughter so all together that makes 7 children that definitely want there. And then of course we would like our best friend's little daughter there as well as a playmate for our daughter since they are best friends as well. The problem is that MANY of our other guests (including extended family of mine that I haven't seen in years but I "have" to invite them) have young children but we do not wish to invite all of the kids. If we did we would be well over 20 children and that's a lot of extra $$$, and chaos and would make 1/2 our guests have to leave early to go and put them to bed. What the heck can we do inthis situation? I feel like, it is my day and we can invite whomever we wish without having to explain any of our decisions, but at the same time I don't want anyone thinking that I don't like their kids or whatnot because they are not invited. I love kids, I really do...I just don't want 25 at our reception! What to do?

    P.S. My biggest concern lies with my cousins on my Dad's side of the family- I haven't seen them in years but my Dad really wanted them invited so of course we will...only there 10 children that come along with that. I'm afraid of hurt feelings.

    #2 happygilmore

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      Posted 12 March 2009 - 11:55 AM

      I can't remember the exact wording but we recently went to a wedding where on the invitation it said something along the lines of...

      While we love all you children dearly, only the children of the immediate family members of the bride and groom will be present at the Reception

      Obviously it will have to be tweeked but it was something like that and that should make it clear to the cousin that his 10 kids aren't invited....and the one friend for your daughter...just have that person keep it on the down low that they are bringing their child if they are friends with people who aren't alloewd to bring theirs

      Hope that helps a bit!

      #3 lgarner83

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        Posted 12 March 2009 - 11:58 AM

        That does actually! I'll have to keep thinking....this is tricky!

        #4 drtracy

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          Posted 12 March 2009 - 01:39 PM

          We actually didn't expressly say no children but we didn't include "and family" on any invitations. People that we want to bring their kids we told personally so they know. Hopefully, people whom we don't want bringing their kids will note the invitation to them ONLY and not bring their kids. The worst that can happen is they will be a little miffed (or a few will bring the kiddies) when they get to the reception and see the other kids but what can they do at that point?

          #5 panther

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            Posted 12 March 2009 - 07:05 PM

            Address your invites very specifically, don't put "and family" as drtracy said.

            We are going to have the same issue, and after much debate I have decided that none of my cousins children are invited but my sisters and brothers children are.

            My sister who has 3 childern under 10 made a good point during my debate that you might be surprised that those who have kids may be happy to leave them home with a sitter because they can come and not have to worry about then and be able to socialize more and its a night out without the kids. They just might have to leave earlier then last call.

            Would love to know what wording you decide to go with.

            #6 uconncruiser

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              Posted 03 April 2009 - 09:23 PM

              I have a similar situation - we're having a formal reception and we're trying to keep the numbers down as well - I would be interested as well in the wording!! I was going to do the " & Family" for our immediate family. Hopefully, the rest get the meaning!

              #7 gaynasmith24

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                Posted 06 April 2009 - 07:36 PM

                Hi I was the original poster of the other thred and I eventually went with my gut feeling whihc was to invite my daughter, her friend, the children of my cousins who were travelling abroad with us and my god children which left 10 instead of 50 kids, to my knowledge we have only upset 1 person by not inviting her children but its someone who we used to be close to but hardly ever see anymore anyway so don't really mind. Most of my friends are glad not to have to bring their kids anyway. I just put specific names on the invites no and families and it seems to have worked out ok.

                #8 lgarner83

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                  Posted 08 April 2009 - 10:15 AM

                  Thank you!! I guess we'll just be specific with our wording and speak personally with those whose kids we want to attend. Culturally, for FI's cousins kids to come it is a MUST so they are coming along with my daughter (of course) and her little friend for company. We also included on the RSVP card: "Children are welcome to attend the celebration in Mexico" Implying that you can bring them there but not to the reception. Hopefully they get it! Our guest list is already over the hall capacity so it is not even possible to bring them all. People will just have to suck it up! lol. Mean but a must. Oh well!

                  #9 islandbride317

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                    Posted 10 April 2009 - 06:23 AM

                    SO glad to see this thread, ladies! Having the same dilemma myself...

                    Personally, I think I might go the route Meagan suggested. While it says pretty clearly that you mean no disrespect to anyone's "little darlings", you are really only interested in certain children that are close to you being in attendance. At a certain point, we all have to draw the line, hurt feelings or not, right?!

                    ~ Christie

                    #10 destination

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                      Posted 03 May 2009 - 03:06 PM

                      I'm just including the kids on the invites because this has been a major source of irritation in my dad's side of the family in the past. I'm hoping most people will take it as an opportunity to go out without the kids since it is on a Friday evening. I know its a risk, but so is hurt feelings if I don't include the kids. I think I have picked the lesser of two evils in my case.




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