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I didn't think it was gonna happen, but it's my turn to Vent! :-(***LONG***

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#1 **~Jenn~**

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    Posted 11 March 2009 - 12:46 PM

    I am well aware of everyone's Destination Wedding stories, between people cancelling last minute, people inviting themselves (& Other people) and just people out to ruin it....I've read it all..I've sympathized with everyone..but I never really thought I would have to deal with any of that.
    Yea..I was wrong!!

    To give you a little background on my Wedding, if you don't already know..We originally booked and planned our wedding here in Philly (Actually jersey, but you get the point)...We realized after , that we couldn't do it, it was too much money, so in August we started planning this Wedding.
    Money was still tight, but this Wedding was doable...Until I found this site and got TONS of ideas and even more wants!! LOL but even still, I had everything pretty much budgeted (sp?) out.

    ok..so now that the wedding is 3 months away..I am anxiously waiting on my final head count. This is what's holding me up from knowing what my final budget is for the rest of the extras I need (Groomsmen gifts, parents gifts & things for me & FI)...I was only waiting on 3 people really...My aunt and my two cousins..My Two cousins are good friends with FI and have been before I came into his life, so they were suppose to be in the Wedding, if they came. They kept assuring us they were coming, but to avoid the whole drama of it all, I never truly counted anyone in unless they booked.

    The other night we spoke to one of my Cousins and he told us that him, His GF and her 2 kids are coming....He didn't think my other cousin was going because of Money issues and of course my Aunt was still going. ok fine..the 2 kids were no big deal and his GF kind of took the place of one of my BM's boyfriend who is no longer coming...Great!!
    Just a quick tidbit about his GF...We never met her yet..they have been going out a couple months (Maybe 2?), and last night I found out they got engaged on March 1st...So she is practically a stranger, but she is my cousins, now Fiance, so that is fine :-)

    Well my FI just called me and says he talked to my cousin today and he says they have a total of 7 people going....Um..What?? Who is the 7.....
    It's him, his GF, only one of her kids, my Aunt......now get this...The GF's MOM and her little brother (who I have no idea how old he is, if he is a kid or a teenager) and my cousins friend Steve who has been living with my aunt for a while now.

    My Aunt is well aware that anyone extra who comes right now, I will be paying per head for, because I already have my 20 included in the package.....
    I am so mad...Would it be too much for him to have called and asked me if it's ok

    I don't mind paying for extra people, if they were actually INVITED by me to the wedding, but now I have to pay for someone I never even met's mom??

    I know my cousin is recuiting people to go, because apparently he found this website and apparently the more people you book, as a group I guess..the cheaper it is per person. Well that's nice..I know it's your vacation too, but it's my Wedding!! Hello!! the hotel is free..the wedding is not. Maybe he assumes that if she comes then she just won't come to the Wedding, but I'm not like that...I come from an Italian family and neighborhood...If your having a party, everyone is invited! So if she is there, I'm going to have to include her.

    And not to mention all the extras I want to do for my guests like the OOT bags..the Rafia fans and bubble on the seats...maracca seating tags & Etc....

    I don't know what to do. My money is budgeted out to almost the dollar on everything and now that I think I'm not doing the Cocktail hour, I may have more room to play with, but I'm not even sure if I can use the cocktail hour credit towards the dinner....then I am really screwed and all for people I don't even know?

    I feel like I sound like a whiney Bridezilla, but I'm really not.
    Through this whole thing I was like, the more the merrier..But now that it's so close, I kind of had an Idea of who was coming and planned around that.This throws everything off a bit.

    ugh...I need a drink

    Thanks for listening to me whine Ladies! I know alot of you have been here!

    Married @ Dreams Cancun 06/24/09
    My Wedding Reviewhttp://bestdestinati....24-09-a-45066/Pics By Juan Navarrohttp://www.facebook.....9&l=32db696cd3

    #2 Yari

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      Posted 11 March 2009 - 12:51 PM

      Well I wouldn't pay for the GF's mom or little brother. I think it's great they want to go on vacation, but no where does it state that they are invited to your wedding. They didn't even get an invite. They can't assume that they are invited. I would tell your cuz that you want an initimate wedding and only those invited are allowed to attend the ceremony and reception.

      #3 BachataBride

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        Posted 11 March 2009 - 01:09 PM

        I'm with Yari...explain to them that they can come to the reception later maybe?? Just not dinner (as that's where the extra costs would be, right?). I would not include them in any of your "guest costs" either, like OOT bags, etc.
        I know you're finding it hard to exclude people, but they would understand I'm sure - and if not, no biggy...you don't know them anyway!!
        Good luck hun & try not to stress over it - it's really not worth the time & energy!

        #4 Erika J

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          Posted 11 March 2009 - 01:24 PM

          I have already been put in a similar situation and my wedding is not for a while. Ultimately it just did not feel right to me to "not" have them attend the wedding.

          Maybe in this case since the cousin was going to be part of the wedding party you can explain that your gift to him will be having these new and unexpected guests as extas people you pay for

          #5 litl_april

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            Posted 11 March 2009 - 02:06 PM

            I understand how you feel about not wanting to exclude people who are coming along anyways. I'm the type of person who would feel the same. IMHO I don't see anything wrong with calling your cousin up and saying that you feel hurt (or whatever feeling you truly are feeling) that he would include these other extras when you told him the 3 were fine. Maybe let him know that they're welcome at the wedding festivities under the condition that he (or someone from his group) cover their costs. Figure out what you're paying per guest (including the little things such as the bubbles and all that, b/c they would be using them too) and give him that amount. I think we've all agreed that inviting others is rude, but that maybe people don't get it. So let him know you really are on a tight budget, which is why you eliminated the wedding at home in the first place. Hopefully he'll understand! Keep us updated, I'll be thinking about you!

            #6 budgetjamaicabride

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              Posted 11 March 2009 - 02:44 PM

              I am totally with people who have responded before. My mother's close friends said they really wanted to come and I had not invited them because we had to draw the line somewhere. I was completely honest with them. I told them that while I would love to have them at my wedding it was just not in my budget. They told me that they would like to make their wedding gift a check prior to the wedding to cover the cost of their attending. My MOH also called me to ask if her family could make this into a family vacation and all attend (mom, dad, brother, sisterinlaw... etc). I told her the same thing and told her what the others were doing. She was totally in agreement.

              Be HONEST. It is your wedding and your budget!

              #7 kate.com


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                Posted 11 March 2009 - 02:50 PM

                Hey, even if you are Italian, you don't have to include them in the wedding. Seriously. Anything else they can tag along- that's the vacation part. But it is not weird not to invite them to the wedding part. It would be weird in Jersey, it is even weirder in Cancun.

                #8 **~Jenn~**

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                  Posted 11 March 2009 - 02:55 PM

                  Thanks Ladies!! I plan on calling him tonight and finding out if he is assuming that the other people he is bringing are coming to the Wedding or not.

                  Thanks again!!
                  Married @ Dreams Cancun 06/24/09
                  My Wedding Reviewhttp://bestdestinati....24-09-a-45066/Pics By Juan Navarrohttp://www.facebook.....9&l=32db696cd3

                  #9 *JillD*

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                    Posted 11 March 2009 - 02:58 PM

                    awww Jenn I'm so sorry. I know exactly how you feel, I remember the day my mom called me and told me 6 of her friends that I didn't even know were coming. I wanted to choke her.

                    BTW, I know exactly who you're talking about, he called me the other day, I thought it was odd that he was telling me there were 6-10 people possibly going, odd that you hadn't mentioned this large group, lol!

                    Don't worry, everything will work out and you'll have a beautiful wedding day :)

                    #10 kiki317

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                      Posted 11 March 2009 - 03:03 PM

                      I agree with the other girls- just tell your cousin flat out that you will have to pay for all these people- he may think because it's an all inclusive resort that it's no big deal.
                      maybe he didn't even realize. WTF? People are such morons. I'm sure everything will work out for you- try not to stress too much- it's nothing a zanax and a glass of wine won't fix ;-)

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