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#11 Debs

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    Posted 10 March 2009 - 12:09 PM

    I've been to one, when I was having trouble with my first marriage. She was an excellent listener, and never told me to do anything. She asked questions and just listened to me talk through the stuff in my head, KWIM? She helped me make my decision to leave my husband without telling me that's what I should do. She was just very supportive and helped me come to the right decision for me.

    I would highly recommend going to someone. That's big stuff you have been through, something that the average person doesn't experience, especially ALL of those things.

    Talking with someone will help you sort through your grief so you will be able to open yourself up to Lawrence and be fully able to love him with your WHOLE heart.

    Hugs girl!

    #12 DanielleNDerek

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      Posted 10 March 2009 - 12:41 PM

      I think you should definately go. I personally never been in therapy but i do have 2 close friends that have gone. And they both have benefited greatly from it. you'll never know if it will work unless you try it and whats the worse thing that could happen, you dont like it and you stop going.
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      #13 LadyP

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        Posted 10 March 2009 - 01:05 PM

        ok i am looking for one now and will try to get an appointment. I need to sort out alot of things ive blamed people for my mistakes and it is time for me to face my demons. Ok the tears are back.

        #14 big3n09

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          Posted 10 March 2009 - 01:32 PM

          I'm very sorry for your loss and the things that you are going through right now. I also say go and see how it is, it can't hurt you. I went for about 3 months 2 years ago, I just felt like I had no control over my life and no direction and needed to talk to someone because that was sooo not me. At the time me and FI had just broke up and I was just feeling so confused. She basically said I was having seperation anxiety probably behind the break up. I stopped going because I felt better but I pray daily also to keep me going. Many AA women let their pride tell them if we go talk to someone were crazy or weak and it's soooo not true. It's merely another person who has no ties to you listening and trying to help you figure things out without a bias opinion.
          I hope things get better for you !!!
          4/1/11 in St. Kitts at the Marriott I married my best-friend!!!

          #15 LadyP

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            Posted 10 March 2009 - 01:45 PM

            i found someone whom i thought i could go and speak with but she doesn't take insurance umm nope. I have wonderful benefits and plan on using them to the fullest now that i have dropped the pride i can't find someone to help me. SCRREEEEAAAAAMMMM

            #16 boscobel

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              Posted 10 March 2009 - 01:53 PM

              Don't give up yet, Catherine. It's huge that you are willing to take this step towards a healthy-mindset, so please don't give up at the first speed bump.

              I would call your regular doctor to see if they can refer you to someone. Or I know previously, I requested a referral from my gyno. Someone who knows you, might be able to refer a good match to your personality and they will also know which doctors take your INS.

              #17 FutureMrsLewis

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                Posted 10 March 2009 - 03:51 PM

                I hope you can find someone soon, you need to start taking care of you, because like FMIL put it to me: "Nobody else is going to look out for you, you need to do that yourself." And don't think of the therapist as someone who is going to tell you what to do, the point of therapy is to help you figure it out for yourself :)

                Good luck sweetie!

                #18 LCBride2007


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                  Posted 10 March 2009 - 04:29 PM

                  your insurance probably has a website that lists providers and specialists. i'd start there. and if you don't click with the first person you choose, move on! but there is someone out there that can help you - don't give up.

                  #19 Dana_C

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                    Posted 10 March 2009 - 04:53 PM

                    Hi there- I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you've been experiencing. I would definitely recommend seeing someone for the same reasons that all of the other ladies have written.

                    I started having panic attacks last summer and went to see someone through my employer's counseling center and realized that a lot of things have happened in my life were just pushed aside and just talking to my counselor made me realize that the transition to being married and possibly having my own family someday was bringing up a bunch of old family issues that I had not dealt with. I no longer see her because I was given tools to help me better express myself and recognize when an issue needs dealing with.

                    Sometimes you just need someone to talk to who is not only impartial, but also I think talking to a counselor is so much different than talking to a friend or family member because sorting through your issues/concerns is the entire goal of your relationship with them. I think it helps just knowing that this person is expecting you to vent and voice your concerns and that they know that's exactly what you came for, ya know? I think once you go and get over the initial fear, you'll be surprised and may enjoy going!

                    Take care and let us know how it goes!

                    #20 jamisoncollette

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                      Posted 10 March 2009 - 08:53 PM

                      I am a licensed social worker who provides therapy to individuals, couples and families and my role is not to tell people what to do. I listen, identify themes, supports, and barriers to growth. I may make suggestions but they are never ultimatums or necessary to continue the therapy. I also provide a safe place for people to let whatever they want out. I could go on but I'm sure you see where it all goes. I also have had extensive therapy myself, most likely this is what led me to social work. I found it helped when my dad died when I was 21 ( I have daddy issues) and during my friend's suicide. I've also gone with my sibling who is bipolar to do family work. We've all benefited but it is tru that you will need to be open to therapy. I would call your employee EAP if you have one and ask for a referral. They will know therapists in your area that are covered by insurance. You should also be able to look online through your insurer if you do not want to go through the EAP. FYI, your employer cannot access who calls the EAP line. Hope you find what you need

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