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Bridesmaids!! and bridal showers!!


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#1 angie8119

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    Posted 08 March 2009 - 04:46 PM

    Hi all,
    Is anyone paying for the transportation for their bridal party, such as airfare? I am not sure I can afford this but I want to know what the proper etiquette is!!? Also, since destinations are smaller weddings generally- is it okay to invite people to your bridal shower you are not inviting to your wedding, when they would normally be invited if you did the traditional wedding in your area??

    #2 soon2bePowers

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      Posted 08 March 2009 - 07:30 PM

      Angie8119,

      I think paying for guest to attend really depends on your financial situation. I of course wish that I could pay for them to attend but I cannot. I am trying to make their additional cost very minimal. In reality I think with a trip to Mexico my BM's are paying about the same amount as I have to been in some of there weddings. For some of them the bridal party planned and paid for a showers (my aunts are doing this for me), we went on out of town bach. trips (we are just going out to dinner for me), their dresses where $100+ dollars plus shoes plus jewelry (my dress for them was $45), hair at the salon they selected was around $100 (they are doing their own hair for mine). When I added it up I think my DW will be a couple hundred dollars more BUT that includes 5 days in Mexico!

      As for showers, I am inviting some people who were not invited to the actual DW but all of the people invited will be invited to our AHR. If you are not have an at home gathering I don't know what the protocol is.

      #3 lolkitteh

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        Posted 09 March 2009 - 04:53 AM

        We are not paying for our bridal party, although if it became a huge financial burden to them, I would make the offer. I would just be up front about the costs to make sure they understand that accepting the invitation to be part of the bridal party means accepting the costs involved. I am, however, paying for the attire, hair, makeup, manicures, etc., in other words, covering all the other costs associated with being part of the party, so in essence, being part of my party is not costing them any more than being a guest.

        As for inviting people to showers, are you having an AHR? From an etiquette standpoint, it is not proper to invite someone to a shower who is not also invited to a wedding or the AHR. The polite assumption for a wedding or AHR is that no gifts are expected. However, a shower by its nature carries an implied gift responsibility - the whole point of them is to "shower" the honoree with gifts. For this reason, it is considered impolite to invite someone only to the shower and not the wedding because the implication is that you only want to extract a gift from them, rather than have them as a guest who celebrates your wedding with you. I'm sure that's not your intent, but this is the logic for this etiquette rule.

        #4 Jenamie

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          Posted 09 March 2009 - 05:10 AM

          No I'm not paying transportation but my mom got a beach house for the family and my SIL is my bridesmade and she is staying with us and My best friend and MOH is staying in a room with me.... though my little sister (other BM) is staying with my dad

          Though I'm not sure what the guys are doing, I know FI is staying in the beach house his mom rented and so is his brother (GM) but I'm not sure what his best man is doing (he is married with a baby) and still waiting on the other (GM) to say if he can come or not

          #5 angie8119

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            Posted 11 March 2009 - 10:33 PM

            thank you so much ladies!!

            #6 angie8119

            angie8119
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              Posted 11 March 2009 - 10:33 PM

              thank you so much ladies!!

              #7 binzer

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                Posted 12 March 2009 - 12:35 AM

                I think the "official" etiquette is to pay for two nights accommodation for the bridal party, and the rest is up to them (although paying for more is always ok!).

                What are you ladies doing for BM jewelry? I was thinking of getting them matching jewelry as their BM gift, but I'm worried that they're going to go buy themselves jewelry before the wedding and there will be money wasted! Should I be providing jewelry and also buy them something else?

                #8 Jenamie

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                  Posted 12 March 2009 - 01:30 AM

                  I dont know a girl alive that will turn down jewelry... I think your safe :)

                  I'm doing necklesses myself, they have turtles to match my turtle theam :)

                  #9 DGG

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                    Posted 12 March 2009 - 03:37 AM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by binzer
                    What are you ladies doing for BM jewelry? I was thinking of getting them matching jewelry as their BM gift, but I'm worried that they're going to go buy themselves jewelry before the wedding and there will be money wasted! Should I be providing jewelry and also buy them something else?
                    I think they can always use extra jewelry :) Or wear their jewelry another night of the trip... I wanted to get my BM jewelry also - something nice but I can't find anything that is nice but not absurdly expensive (I have 5 BM) - any suggestions

                    #10 binzer

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                      Posted 12 March 2009 - 04:03 AM

                      I'm thinking I may make (or purchase if I'm short on time) some anklets for my BMs so that even if they secretly don't like them, they can wear them without it being a big deal (I may also get some little jewelry boxes for them).

                      Do you guys get your MoH something extra? And if so...what kinda of things do you get?

                      DGG, what are you hoping to spend on each? My best recommendation would be Etsy since you'll definitely find something in your price range that's nice!




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