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I need to vent!


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#1 imapepper

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    Posted 02 March 2009 - 09:51 PM

    Ok so my FI said to me yesterday that we need to think about having the wedding locally. Not only have about 15 ppl booked, we are less than 4 months out. I am seriously depressed right now and advised him that changing the location is not an option! I have been trying to think of ways to scale the event down to make it easier on our pocket. I know that we are all in the moment of financial hard times, however it is too late in the game for all of this. My BDW sisters, I need some advice. He is being super cold right now and I do not know how to react. I really am wondering if he is receiving pressure from his side of the family. I too am saddened that some ppl will not be able to attend, however we just have to make the best of it. Thanks for listening.

    #2 DanielleNDerek

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      Posted 02 March 2009 - 10:24 PM

      If 15 ppl booked you really cant move it. You can do things to make it cheaper for yourselves. Have your reception in one of the resort restaurants instead of having a private reception that kind of thing. Sorry he's not understanding.
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      #3 joshfrommontreal

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        Posted 02 March 2009 - 10:39 PM

        With the economy so bad right now it definitely is a tough choice.

        I think that there are a few things you can talk to him about. One, the cost of a local wedding can potentially be a lot more then a DW. Your head count will most likely go up, which means more people to feed, a bigger venue, etc etc.

        There are some ways to cut down on costs. Getting legally married at home will cut down your costs a lot. A lot of people make it very small and informal that way they feel the day at the resort is their actual wedding day.

        Also, do as much as you can yourself. There are so many good DIY websites that will help you make all you need.

        As was mentioned above, have your reception at a one of the included restaurants instead of having a private reception.

        Next just think of the small things that add up and ask yourselves if you truly need them. For instance getting a cake, many of my couples chose not to get one, they think its pointless.

        #4 joshfrommontreal

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          Posted 02 March 2009 - 10:39 PM

          With the economy so bad right now it definitely is a tough choice.

          I think that there are a few things you can talk to him about. One, the cost of a local wedding can potentially be a lot more then a DW. Your head count will most likely go up, which means more people to feed, a bigger venue, etc etc.

          There are some ways to cut down on costs. Getting legally married at home will cut down your costs a lot. A lot of people make it very small and informal that way they feel the day at the resort is their actual wedding day.

          Also, do as much as you can yourself. There are so many good DIY websites that will help you make all you need.

          As was mentioned above, have your reception at a one of the included restaurants instead of having a private reception.

          Next just think of the small things that add up and ask yourselves if you truly need them. For instance getting a cake, many of my couples chose not to get one, they think its pointless.

          #5 imapepper

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            Posted 03 March 2009 - 12:18 AM

            Thanks Danielle and Josh for the great advice. Both of you have made great suggestions. Right now all he can think about is not being able to afford it, but he fails to realize we have to make it happen. I will discuss the ideas that you guys have given me with him. Pray for me please! I really need it!

            #6 kate.com

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              Posted 03 March 2009 - 12:36 AM

              Oh I am sorry.
              Maybe you too should come up with a budget (realistic on both sides) together and figure out what you can afford then go from there.
              Be empithetic. But also let him know how you feel. You need to be in it together!

              #7 trance_angelx0x

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                Posted 03 March 2009 - 11:14 AM

                Definetly sit down with him and get him to tell you his concerns about the DW. I must agree that this far in the game, it will be more costly to cancel your DW than to go ahead with it.

                I agree with the above posts, perhaps cut back on some of the extras or think about big ticket items and see if there is a way to make those things cheaper. Good luck!

                #8 DTHSLove

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                  Posted 03 March 2009 - 12:10 PM

                  Good one Trance. Let him come clean about what he is thinking. Do what you can yourself have us help you if you need help making something. With 15person booked no way in HELL you can change venue. If you did not get the dress, DC is having a Bridal Run or you can get nice dress off the rack at the bridal store. See what his parents are saying about it. If you can convince the mom it will be cheaper, you will win your FI. Good luck sis.

                  #9 Betsy

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                    Posted 03 March 2009 - 12:26 PM

                    No matter if it is in your hometown or a DW weddings are expensive! They can be as extravagant or simple as you make them...I def. think you should sit down with him so you can find out EXACTLY what his concerns are. I don't really think it's an option with 15 people already booked. Is it b/c none of his family is going to be able to make it?? I'm sure there are a few things to DIY or if you need help with anything just let me know! Good Luck, I hope he comes around.

                    #10 eloping789

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                      Posted 03 March 2009 - 05:46 PM

                      What everyone is saying is absolutely spot on. We are actually eloping to DR to save $$ and then having a reception that will be a little less formal than a traditional reception for our friends & family when we get back. But, if 15 people have already booked you'll be pretty hard-pressed to change your plans very drastically now. I guess the big question is, is he worried about your expenses, your guests expenses or both. Once you know that it will be easier to come up with some compromises to alleviate financial burdens where necessary. Best of luck to you!!!




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