Bridal Shower...who to invite/not invite?
Posted 03 March 2009 - 05:59 AM
The reason is this. When attending a wedding or AHR, the polite assumption is that gifts are always optional, even though by tradition they are given, and as a practical matter, mostly assumed. However, a shower, by its nature carries an implied gift responsibility - the whole point of them is to "shower" the honoree with gifts. This is also why it is poor etiquette for the bride herself or the immediate family to throw showers, since it could be seen as a gift grab. This is also why many view someone who accepts multiple showers as a gift grab. Since it is a party with automatically implied gift responsibility, showers are supposed to be small affairs where only the close friends and relatives are invited (the obvious exception to this is the "office shower"). In the case of multiple showers, it is polite to ensure that they involve different groups of people, so that the same people are not constantly buying you gifts, which creates a burden on those individuals.
Posted 12 March 2009 - 03:45 PM
Posted 12 March 2009 - 04:39 PM
But the more I think of her, the more saddened I become when thinking about not having her at my shower beacuse etiquette dictates that only those who have been invited to the wedding must come to the shower. She would love the time out with ladies.
So I have decided, to heck with etiquette! Destination weddings are acquiring rules of their own anyway and are not bound by traditional rules.
I invited her - however I did not include a gift registry card in her invitation. I do not want a gift from her - all I want is her presence. I explained the situation, telling her that all I want is for her to join my family and me in celebrating this time in my life.
So I think that you can invite people to the shower that may have not been invited to the wedding - but you cannot request gifts from these people.
Let them shower you with their love instead.
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Posted 17 March 2009 - 10:09 PM
Posted 21 March 2009 - 01:19 PM
Posted 21 March 2009 - 02:13 PM
(BSullivan2) My situation is similiar to yours. I live 2-hours away from everyone. I sent out 50-invitations to everyone that voiced they can make it to the wedding and the rest to those close family and friends. I am paying for everything and wanted some type of invitiation to go out, but I could only afford 50.
I have used our wedding website as a way of communicating all events to everyone, and this has been a money saver, time saver, and great communication method. so even though I have a huge family as does my FI everyone knows the events.
Our shower is in May, and it will be a combined couple shower/bachelor/bachelorette celebration. Our wedding is in June, and our AHR is in August. Invitations for the AHR will be mailed when return in June, however I am inviting everyone to the shower/celebration in May...gifts are not required nor are the expected, and I have voiced this to everyone.
Our intention is to have everyone together to share the party, and upcoming wedding. Let's be realistic - not everyone can afford a trip, and I don't think anyone wants to make people feel obligated to bring gifts.
My opinion is that "old school" tradition gets thrown out the window, after all I chose a destination wedding "not" expecting any traditional methods of a "traditional" wedding. I think that if it's communicated clearly that no offense will not be taken.
Our invitations to the shower are to celebrate the upcoming wedding, I'm not including where I'm registered...but if people ask then I will tell them.
Not sure if any of this helps, but I'm very non-traditional, but also cognizant of traditional way of thinking, and trying to appease everyone. Good luck, and let us know how everything works out for you!!!!!!
Posted 21 March 2009 - 07:09 PM
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