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a vent

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#1 Nonnie

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  • 172 posts

    Posted 01 March 2009 - 09:30 PM


    a vent:

    So I decided to do a destination wedding thinking it would solve family dynamic problems and be cheaper, but now that I am in love with the idea that is not the case

    1. I thought I would have 25 people there, then I thought 50 because people were so excited and now that i need people to put down a deposit I am desperately hoping I'll get 10. I need to have 10 people put a deposite down by Thursday or we won't get a group deal

    2. This may be because my twin brother got engaged a month after me and is marrying in our home town in August (I am marrying in St Maarten in December) so all our relatives are going to that instead. Though I expect it has to do with the F***ing Economy crashing. I said he could get engaged, and it does not really bother me, but still...

    3. My mother is over obsessing over everything, and making me nervous about everything from weather interrupting airfare to my dress falling apart to being ripped off by every vendor. It's at the point where I shudder every time I see her name on the call display. Thankfully I have given her the contact info of my wonderful travel agent who I now pity greatly (we did warn her). I hope everything goes well or I will never hear the end of it

    4. My dear father whom I love dearly is being terribly inconvenienced by our departure date, he is a university instructor, a date I picked because I thought it worked for him because it would. I hate to do this to him, thankfully I'm his only daughter and he has racked up lots of karma with the university. He is also worrying I won't get the wedding I want, which is all he cares about. I hate to see him worry

    5. My brother's local wedding now looks like it will cost less then mine (despite the fact they are going full on traditional) because he has so much luck he must have a horse shoe up his *ss. This vetoes my argument that a destination wedding is cheaper.

    To anyone who read this, my apologies for wasting your time since this reallt had no point but for me to vent

    #2 lil_miss_frogg

    • Member
    • 826 posts

      Posted 02 March 2009 - 11:05 AM

      As many people have said....'Welcome to Planning a DW!' I hate to say it, but this is what you are going to have to put up with throughout the planning processes. Just keep your head up and as long as this is what you and your FI want, go for it. I do understand your frustration. If my brother got engaged after me and planned his wedding a few months ahead of mine I would be so pissed. Please keep us posted.
      My Babies
      "Love isn't about finding a perfect person,
      it's seeing an imperfect person perfectly!"

      #3 yamille

      • Sr. Member
      • 1,460 posts

        Posted 02 March 2009 - 11:11 AM

        Sorry you are having a hard time. I would be stressed if my brother's wedding was the same year let alone so close to mine.


        #4 Hartyt509

        • Sr. Member
        • 2,262 posts

          Posted 02 March 2009 - 06:38 PM

          It's normal honestly. I had 27 people I now have 9!!

          I've had all the crap of FI's family and my own and I've dealt with it by saying ah well shame you won't be there lol

          It might not be slightly cheaper but at least you won't have to put up will all the family crap about who is and isn't invited lol Cause you can bet your ass your brother will lmao

          #5 Nonnie

          • Jr. Member
          • 172 posts

            Posted 02 March 2009 - 09:44 PM

            To add insult to injury:

            I got the quotes from a wedding planner the hotel deals with and it is not pretty, or rather it is pretty... pretty expensive. I am not spending $4,000 if only 12 people are going to show up, the coordinator's fee alone is almost $1,500

            How possible is it to organize everything myself, I have event planning experience and my Fiance knows people who live on St Maarten

            Oh, The Fiance and I are going to have our engagement party a few days before my brother's wedding. Muahaha, that will be our revenge.

            #6 fudgie

            • Jr. Member
            • 353 posts

              Posted 03 March 2009 - 12:54 PM

              I totally understand you. My FSIL got engaged after us, is having a local wedding this summer (ours is in April) and now none of my FH's family is coming to our wedding. She did phone a year ago, before we had our date booked, and asked if it was ok for her to reserve her date. What was I going to say - no? I told her that was only fair seeing how we didn't pick a date (but we did tell everyone Spring 2009), BUT I was assumption that they would all still save for a year and a half and attend our wedding also.
              We changed our wedding date to accomadate those that are coming, some with tickets paid for still don't have their passports and the actually expense keeps growing. But, if you did chose to have a wedding at home I guarantee you would still have problems, maybe not the same problems but still issues from people. What is keeping me going is knowing that my FH and I are actually doing what we want to do and how we want to do it. Some how it will all work out in the end, there will be troubles along the way but in the end you will still be getting married and enjoying you day where and how you want to :)
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              #7 ~Nicole~

              • Sr. Member
              • 4,512 posts

                Posted 03 March 2009 - 06:31 PM

                I know exactly what you mean!!! I had a bunch of people on board with our DW and even gave the pricing and asked the closest family & friends if they were in for sure because we were paying a deposit. They said "absolutely!!!! I wouldn't miss it for the world!!!" I also gave them a year and a half notice. Only 3 people have reserved and 1 person has paid a deposit....lol! I know I still have some time to go before the wedding, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to be losing some of my deposit. As soon as they were required to put money down, a new side of them came out. Suddenly it wasn't "I wouldn't miss it for the world", it was "oh, well i'll see what i can do".

                Not too long ago I was ready to forfeit my deposit and just elope. I've now decided that I'm not letting anyone get to me, and I don't care if its just me & FI there, because really that's all that matters... well to me anyways.

                Yes, DW can add up pretty quickly, but you can control some of those costs depending on what are "MUST HAVES" for you. I am keeping it completely simple and only splurging on the photography, and my wedding will be way cheaper than having one at home.

                Hang in there!!!!! We feel your pain!!!
                *Formerly Nikki07*
                My Planning Thread

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