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Is it bad etiquette to not plan wedding far in advance?


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#1 Samaraweiss@yahoo.com

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    Posted 22 February 2009 - 01:41 AM

    Is it in bad taste to purposely plan a destination wedding not that far in advance? My FI and I are not really into waiting 10 months or a year, but we also don't want to be rude!

    I was thinking either Vegas or Cabo (I live in California) in 3-4 months.

    Most of the posts I've read through say to send STD's 8-10 months or more in advance!
    What do you guys think?

    Thanks!

    #2 ErinB

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      Posted 22 February 2009 - 02:13 AM

      I don't think it is rude, you will just need to be realistic that you might not have as high of a guest count as you hope. You also may need to be a little more flexible with details. For example, your resort might have another wedding booked at the time slot you want. You might have to find a dress off the rack or with rush shipping instead of having one custom made, etc.

      I think if you let people know ASAP what your plans are you'll be fine. I'd get a website up pretty quickly to easily update your guests.

      If a large number of invitees won't be able to make it, you might want to consider an AHR so people have a chance to celebrate with you.

      It's important to remember that your wedding is about you and your FI. If it is really important that you have 100 of your closest friends there, then you might want to wait. If you're ready to tie the knot now, then go for it!

      #3 Chanti

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        Posted 22 February 2009 - 02:27 AM

        We're getting married June 29th, 2009. Our Save the Dates are going out on Monday, February 23rd, 2009. A bit later than originally planned, but we ran into issues with the first resort we had booked at and had to change, so in retrospect I'm glad we didn't rush the Save the Dates until everything was settled. We are only inviting 80 people, and most of these individuals are aware it is happening, so I don't think it's rude. We are for sure doing an at-home party about 1 month after the wedding, for those who can't join us in Mexico.

        #4 binzer

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          Posted 22 February 2009 - 03:55 AM

          It's definitely not rude; you're just excited to get married! The only issue is whether or not you can plan a wedding that fast to your satisfaction, so make sure you look into all the wedding details you'll need to have organized. A lot of dresses take longer than 4 months to come in (and that's not including fittings) so you'll probably have to make some compromises to get married that soon (but if it's going to be fairly casual, and you're not obsessive about details, I think you'll be fine).

          There's a to-do list you can download in this forum, so you may want to go through it and just make sure you feel like you can get everything you want done quickly enough.

          I would also skip STDs in your situation, and go straight for the invites :) Personally I would've preferred a shorter engagement (and mine will only be 9 months) so I say go for it if it's what you want!

          #5 Hartyt509

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            Posted 22 February 2009 - 07:03 AM

            Nope it's not - its up to you what you want to do. If I'd had my way i'd have been married about 4 months after we decided but FI is a pain in the arse and wanted to invite his mother lol so we had to give LOTS of notice. We did that and still hardly anyone is coming. I didn't send out anything except a few invites and that was only a month or so ago.

            My advice run away and do it so much simpler lol

            #6 hsims1

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              Posted 22 February 2009 - 11:33 AM

              I say do what makes your happy. It is your day, and I don't think it is rude at all. :-)

              #7 sunsetbride1

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                Posted 22 February 2009 - 11:52 AM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by ErinB
                I don't think it is rude, you will just need to be realistic that you might not have as high of a guest count as you hope. You also may need to be a little more flexible with details. For example, your resort might have another wedding booked at the time slot you want. You might have to find a dress off the rack or with rush shipping instead of having one custom made, etc.

                I think if you let people know ASAP what your plans are you'll be fine. I'd get a website up pretty quickly to easily update your guests.

                If a large number of invitees won't be able to make it, you might want to consider an AHR so people have a chance to celebrate with you.

                It's important to remember that your wedding is about you and your FI. If it is really important that you have 100 of your closest friends there, then you might want to wait. If you're ready to tie the knot now, then go for it!
                I completely agree with Erin... just keep your expectations realistic and enjoy!

                #8 Flasong

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                  Posted 22 February 2009 - 12:44 PM

                  I say do whatever makes you happy and I guess I should listen to my advice...as we were planning on just going away just us two and then everyone (family and friends) were like, "oh we want to come." So now, instead of just thinking of only us, I have to consider what will be feasible for everyone else i.e. budgets, children allowed etc. So now my head is about to explode trying to pick the "right" resort. I can't even decide on a darn destination! The short version of this is do whatever the heck YOU and your FI want to do!! Good luck and keep us updated:)

                  #9 Samaraweiss@yahoo.com

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                    Posted 22 February 2009 - 03:37 PM

                    Thanks everyone! It's really hard to just do what you want and to not worry about everyone else- !

                    #10 DTHSLove

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                      Posted 22 February 2009 - 03:46 PM

                      Just do whatever makes you happy, I try not to worry to much about what other people may think as I want my wedding to be unique.




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