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Need to vent about SIL!

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#1 Lucky_Girl

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    Posted 20 February 2009 - 12:31 PM

    Hi Girls,

    I need to vent for a minute, and this seems to be the safest place to do that!

    My Fiance's sister has decided she isn't coming to our DW. She hasn't actually told us she isn't coming, but we've heard through other family members that she says she can't afford it. In fact, one of his aunts has even said that it's not worth it for his sister to spend the money on us. (How hurtful is that?? an email was accidentally forwarded to my fiance and that's what it said!) We did everything we could to give people enough time to plan vacation time and save their money. We are having a longer engagement (18 months) and trying as best as we can to keep the cost of the resort as low as possible. As it stands now, our wedding is 15 months away. We haven't even sent out the STD's with the group rates yet!

    I've seen his sister in action, and as much as I hate to say it, she is a princess and in their parents eyes, she can do no wrong. Believe me when I say that when I found out this fantastic guy I was dating had a sister my age, I was thrilled and had ideas that we could be great friends. I was wrong. She has kindly informed me that her mother will always love her more than she will ever love me, and that her babies will be more special than mine. She hasn't even really congratulated us on our engagement. He proposed in October. When we announced it at the big family Thanksgiving gathering, she left the room and didn't talk to us all night! She pouted and left the gathering early. Even now any time our wedding comes up in her presence, she sits quietly and doesn't contribute to the conversation. I could go on about other things that she's done/said that have hurt us, but I'm trying really hard to focus on positive things.

    A little bit more background on what's going on, his sister recently got married (August 200 and if I am to believe what she has been saying, they were able to pay cash for their wedding. So how is it that they were able to save $20,000+ in a year and a half to pay for their wedding, but they aren't able to save $4000 to come to her only siblings wedding?

    Has this happened to anyone else? I'm worried that during our week away his parents/family are going to be talking about how sad it is that his sister couldn't make it and "blaming" us for chosing to go away. How did you deal with it? I'm wondering if we should just pay for her to come to avoid all the crap we know we're going to get for her not being there. Thoughts? Advice?

    #2 Banana11

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      Posted 20 February 2009 - 01:01 PM

      OMG she sounds like a big fat baby! And if the world isn't revolving around her she has to make it by creating issues and complaining. YUCK! Consider yourself lucky if you don't have to deal with her drama on your wedding trip.

      #3 tylersgirl

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        Posted 20 February 2009 - 01:29 PM

        Yeah, I agree with Andrea, be glad she isn't coming. You don't need all her immaturity on your special day =)

        #4 Jenn3878

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          Posted 20 February 2009 - 01:32 PM

          WOW what a cry baby!! I say good riddence have a great time with out her HAHA :)

          #5 YaelM


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            Posted 20 February 2009 - 01:34 PM

            I agree with Andrea! Its really tough though, I was dealing with a similar situation with my FSIL so I know where you are coming from. Its hard to enjoy the exciting parts when you have this negativity around from someone who should be happy for you.

            Feel free to vent away and like you said just keep enjoying all the positive aspects of having a fabulous wedding! You def do not want to deal with her on your wedding day

            #6 NJ_bride

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              Posted 20 February 2009 - 01:34 PM

              My husband and I had a similar situation with his brother and his brother's fiancee. Needless to say they did not come although it wasn't over money. I thought the same thing are people gonna be upset he isn't here and blame us? Well while hubby's sister and Dad were upset and tried to make excuses, no one else missed them! Actually people were disgusted with the fact they chose not to come. Trust me you will be much better without them. Good luck!

              #7 *Heather*


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                Posted 20 February 2009 - 01:36 PM

                I agree with everyone else. Consider yourself lucky if she doesn't come. Who wants to deal with that during their wedding day or wedding week? It should be all about you guys and if she's there, she'll make it all about her. She'll also be making herself look really bad by not going. Totally not your problem!

                #8 Sloan

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                  Posted 20 February 2009 - 05:40 PM

                  Sounds like she's jealous of you. No normal person with a decent self-esteem acts like that. Maybe there's something underlying... but I do agree -- what a bitch.

                  #9 YoursTruly

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                    Posted 20 February 2009 - 05:57 PM

                    Oh my!! I am hurting for you but please try not to waste your time worrying about her. Unfortunately baggage comes with the territory sometimes, but be glad she won't be there to command drama on your special day.

                    #10 Lucky_Girl

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                      Posted 20 February 2009 - 06:02 PM

                      Thank you so much! I was starting to feel like I was the crazy one since his parents totally support her behaviour! We've actually cut down on how much we see his immediate family because they've all been so negative about everything.

                      I sincerely hope that his sister is the one to look bad when her and her husband don't come to our wedding.

                      It's actually a running joke now that she will probably try to get pregnant relatively soon so that her mom stays with her instead of coming to our wedding.

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