Boundaries Needed OR Am I unreasonable?? **LONG - NEED TO VENT***
Posted 19 February 2009 - 05:15 PM
And to the girls I can always count on you guys for the emotional lift and good advice. smooches!
Posted 19 February 2009 - 05:25 PM
| Originally Posted by YoursTruly |
At this point I was too through...
Whew..when to establish boundaries. Wow, i don't know. I know it's hard, I'm the type that because MY ass was raised right, it's hard for me to put my foot down when others are rude. MY FSIL invites herself down to spend the night at least once every couple of months...with her two children. We already have the quads, and the last thing I feel like dealing with is someone else's bad ass kids most of the time, so I always feel like saying "Umm, no thank you." but never do. It's something I'm working on.
I think that there has to be a way of....letting them know that YOU have boundaries even if they don't. I'm a bad one to talk, but I know it will only get worse as time goes on. When all else fails a generic excuse is always good. People get the hint and know you're just making excuses, but it's beautiful because they can't really say anything.
http://i17.photobuck....inecollage.jpgThe Fab Four (my quads) Meryn, Kellen, Nico & Layla
http://global.thekno...rs/tt265ad.aspxhttp://www.mywedding...nnah/index.html20 STD's w. pre-lim RSVP sent 6/15/09: 7 "Yes" so far/10 guests total!
Posted 19 February 2009 - 05:26 PM
Maybe that will help going forward and with him handling issues that occur with HIS family, you won't look like the crazy, unreasonable, bad guy! KWIM?
Either way I think boundaries are a good thing, especially to keep the peace between each other!
Hope your son is much better now!
Posted 19 February 2009 - 07:56 PM
If it were my FSIL, I would definitely let her come by and use our washer/dryer/soap any time, but she's super awesome to me and would ask nicely ahead of time. Plus... she would probably bring me rocky road cupcakes as a thank you.
Definitely set up boundaries. If something isn't ok with you, have your FI let them know early on, so it's clear that stuff like this isn't ok.
Posted 19 February 2009 - 08:14 PM
Good luck and keep us posted And I hope your little guy is feeling better!
Posted 19 February 2009 - 08:31 PM
I am definitely the odd ball out here. This sounds EXACTLY like my FSIL who is a marine. Although that is just her and this situation would never have phased me i would have just said ya i'll be back later.
I'm not saying you are out of line it doesn't sound like you are very close w/ FI's family, maybe you are I don't know. I'm very close w/ Joe's family and joe's little sister is exactly like this although it would never had phased me. I think definitely in your situation right now being tired and stressed it's much easier to get upset, much quicker.
Boundaries...... Joe and I definitely have boundaries. We have talked and together agreed where the boundary line lies. Now, if its his family that is flirting w/ the boundary line, or officially crossed it, it is Joe's responsibility to confront the issue. I don't want to be getting on his family, and if its my family its my responsibility.
Posted 21 February 2009 - 01:43 AM
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