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Am I overthinking things???

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23 replies to this topic

#21 Soon To Be Mrs. Gomez

Soon To Be Mrs. Gomez
  • Sr. Member
  • 1,326 posts

    Posted 08 April 2009 - 04:53 PM

    I think most men don't really like the details of weddings. My FI gave me full discretion to plan teh wedding and he seems happy about all the details, but he doesn't always help too much. I wouldn't feel bad. Take it as he wants you to have your dream wedding.

    #22 Sammygurlj

    • Jr. Member
    • 165 posts

      Posted 08 April 2009 - 05:03 PM

      FI and I went through this in the begining too. After a few whatever's from him I explained to him that his opinion is important to me and I want him to be involed in our wedding since it is OUR wedding not just mine. He said he just wanted the day to be perfect for me and he thought that I was just asking as a courtesy to him so he didn't want to say the wrong thing. Now when I ask him he actually thinks about it and gives me an answer because he knows his opinion is important to me.

      So maybe just tell him that you are not just asking for the hell of it and you actually want to know what he thinks.

      #23 Ayita

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      • 861 posts

        Posted 08 April 2009 - 05:16 PM

        FI said exactly the same, exactly ! at first i liked it but then, I found myself a bit too alone on this (my party and family all living abroad) so I started to ask him questions about stuff.

        It actually appears that he cared much more thhan what he said ! For instance, he loathes tiffany chairs. He does not want ribbons on the chairs. He wanted a cake (I remember that conversation : me : so, no cake. him : What me : nobody eats it. Him : I eat it !). He loved to pick the menu and to cut the DIY stuff ! He even asked for more (I quote "hey, what don't you continue to work on the templates and I'll do the cutting").

        I also put him in charge of music, he loved that, and negotiation matters, which turns out pretty useful this week (big issues I have... I hope it gets resolved, so I won't talk about it just to try and stay positive on this).

        So, if you want him to be involved, start small - what angel1416 is super true. For instance, my bouquet : I came with white callas and orange calla and asked him : which ones do you prefer ? The font on the invite : printed 3 possibilities and I had him pick one ! The food : narrowed down to three menus and we looked at these together ! The GM attires : took him to ONE store and have him pick between the options available there. etc.

        At the end of the day, in spite of his saying "do what you want", the only thing I really did pick by myself is 1. the colors, and 2. my dress. But even this... I already knew he HATES strapless and pouffy...

        #24 big3n09

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        • 616 posts

          Posted 08 April 2009 - 05:57 PM

          You are def not alone. I had a thread a while back "FI's attitude is sucky", he pretty much is not being as interested and involved as I would like him to be but I know him when it gets closer or if it's something he doesn't like he is going to get overly involved then. I wouldn't worry about it, especially for now. I have jjust been getting all the information and thins together and lined up and will do what I need to do. Best of luck!
          4/1/11 in St. Kitts at the Marriott I married my best-friend!!!

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