Am I overthinking things???
Posted 18 February 2009 - 02:04 PM
Posted 18 February 2009 - 02:12 PM
| Originally Posted by jkcz0702 |
You still have a lot of time. A year ago my FI was like do what you want, however when the wedding got closer he had a lot of opinions and ideas which was so helpful.
Posted 18 February 2009 - 03:15 PM
Posted 18 February 2009 - 04:15 PM
| Originally Posted by binzer |
No matter what your fiance isn't going to get as excited over the details as you. Most men aren't going to get as excited over flowers or centerpieces, and that's a hard thing to force. That being said, the way he worded his response sounds a bit lazy. Try asking his opinion on something and see how it goes (for example, get something on your list of things to organize down to two choices, and tell him you can't make up your mind and want his input).
Generally I find my fiance is better for validating my choices than he is for making them. I figure out what I think I want, and then say "I'm thinking of doing this...what do you think?" The only thing he's majorly helped with is choosing songs, b/c I don't want to pick music he hates.
I think most guys just want to get married. Really, the wedding itself is always more about the bride (girls usually spend forever obsessing over the dress...guys often just go rent a tux). I think it's worth getting mad if he's not willing to give any input when you ask him about something specific, but I doubt he's going to get really into planning, and that's not necessarily a bad thing b/c if it's not his thing, he would probably be bad at it.
Just think about the girl to guy ratio on this forum, and it should give you a good indication of how into wedding planning men are! If it bothers you still, talk to him about it, and you'll probably find that he does care about the wedding, but that marrying you is the only important detail (and is he wrong? I think us girls get a little too caught up in little things that don't really matter).
Well Said! I totally agree with all of it!
My DH was really interested in
other than that, I was left to my own devices, and sought approval of my plans from him... i.e. I like this (flowers, ceremony set up, travel mugs, etc.) and he would simply agree that he liked it too. You really don't want a groom-zilla on your hands - that leaves you quite vulnerable to not getting what you want.
This is your day! As much as people say 'our' day... it really is the bride's day.
You shouldn't over-react, he is simply opening the doors to your own creative license for the day of your wedding!
Posted 18 February 2009 - 05:05 PM
Posted 18 February 2009 - 10:38 PM
Puerto Penasco, Mexico
Posted 21 February 2009 - 10:23 AM
Posted 23 February 2009 - 04:24 PM
Our deal is that I research things (because I thoroughly enjoy spending an entire day browsing websites for ideas for favours, flowers, STD's, etc) and show him my favourites. He gives his opinion and we chose one together. As long as it's narrowed down to just a few, he's happy.
As for time, our arrangement is that we only go to Michaels (the craft store) once a week. If it were up to me, we would go every other day! But, to be reasonable, I would have bought half the store by now trying out my newest ideas about centre peices or flowers, etc.
You have to find a balance that works for you guys. My FI had the same attitude in the beginning, he said to just chose whatever I wanted. Now, as time goes on, he is getting more and more involved. We were talking about where to have our at home reception and he said he was looking forward to looking around for a venue. That completely took me by surprise! I had no idea he was looking forward to that! Curious about what else he was looking forward to, I asked...he said "I'm looking forward to being married to you" aww.
These men do care about us, and our thoughts and feelings and opinions, if they didn't, they wouldn't have asked us to spend the rest of our lives with them. Just because he doesn't care what shade of pink ribbon you use, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you.
Posted 23 February 2009 - 05:14 PM
I too have given him certain items to tend to for us. He is primarily in charge of the music and playlists for the reception and happy hours we hold. He works on his IPod music a lot and is really enjoying it. There are a couple other areas he is primarily in charge of too. I tried to pick things I know he would enjoy doing.
Posted 08 April 2009 - 04:37 PM
Girl don't worry,if speaking his mind is truly his nature then when time gets closer he'll definately speak up if for no other reason to make sure that you're as happy and your day is as special as can be...
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