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K'osh

Father Passed Away...Dance Partners/Song Ideas?

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My father recently passed away from cancer and I'm in a little bit of a dilemma. I've asked my best friend to walk me down the aisle since he's been like a brother to me growing up. I'm a bit confused on the etiquette of the father/daughter dance though. I've just been informed that my dad's brother (who sat many hours in the hospital with me) is now thinking of attending the wedding. So...do I ask him, my FI's father (who hates to dance) or my best friend that's walking me down the aisle?

That aside, I was going to dance to Butterfly Kisses (song meant a lot to both of us) but I'm not sure if that is still appropriate (especially if I dance with my best friend).

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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First, so sorry for your loss. hug2.gif And I think it's great that you are having a best friend walk you down the aisle, I'm sure he is so honored to do so. Honestly, I'm not really sure whether there is any appropriate ettiquette in a situation like yours, I think it really all depends on who YOU want to share that dance with and who you feel most comfortable with.

 

If you have a special song that you shared with your dad, then that's perfect. I know another beautiful song is "Dance with My Father" by Luther Vandross. The song makes me cry whenever I hear it, and it's a lovely way to honor and give tribute to your dad's memory rolleyes.gif

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I would have one walk you down the aisle and the other do your first dance. This way you're honoring both.

 

I'm sorry about the loss of your father. FI just lost his father to leukemia in September and it's just so hard.

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If your uncle can attend; then I think it would be wonderful to have that dance with him - as there is a connection there to your Dad.

You can have another dance with your best friend, but maybe to a different song - like "that's what friends are for"? or something similar.

Your Dad will be with you that day in spirit.

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I also am so sorry to hear of your loss. I think if it were me I would skip the dance altogether. Your uncle isn't comfortable dancing and just the fact that he will be in attendance is great. I would have a memorial candle for your dad and leave it at that.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by K'osh View Post
MarieSam: What a wonderful song...thanks
Isn't it just beautiful? And really perfect...I know what ever you decide girl, your daddy will be there in spirit and very proud of his beautiful daughter on her special day hug2.gif

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I lost my dad several years ago, but the loss is still very painful and always will be. Sorry to hear you are dealing with losing your father.

 

I don't know how set you are on the idea of a dance, but just thought I'd let you know what I'm doing. In lieu of a father/daughter dance, since for ME there is just no one that would symbolize it the right way, I'm putting together a slide show of photos. Pics of me with my dad growing up, my father alone, doing things he enjoyed..I'm going to set it to Luther Vandross' "Dance With My Father" as a tribute because lyrically, the song is perfect for a child wishing with all her heart she had just that one last time with him. (Ok, tearing up typing this)

 

Anyway, I just thought it would be a nice way of including memories of my dad in the wedding and sort of HAVING a moment with him even though he can't physically be there. Good luck to you. I hope you come to a decision you are comfortable with.

 

I'll copy the lyrics to the song, just in case anyone doesn't know them and might want to do anything similar, even if it's just wording on ceremony programs or what have you.

 

 

Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence

My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then

Spin me around 'til I fell asleep

Then up the stairs he would carry me

And I knew for sure I was loved

 

If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him

I'd play a song that would never, ever end

How I'd love, love, love

To dance with my father again

 

When I and my mother would disagree

To get my way, I would run from her to him

He'd make me laugh just to comfort me

Then finally make me do just what my mama said

Later that night when I was asleep

He left a dollar under my sheet

Never dreamed that he would be gone from me

 

If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him

I'd play a song that would never, ever end

'Cause I'd love, love, love

To dance with my father again

 

Sometimes I'd listen outside her door

And I'd hear how my mother cried for him

I pray for her even more than me

I pray for her even more than me

I know I'm praying for much too much

But could you send back the only man she loved

I know you don't do it usually

But dear Lord she's dying

To dance with my father again

Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream

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BillysBride: It is a wonderful thing that you're doing...I would surely need 3 boxes of kleenex if I attempted that myself.

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