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Speeches and toasts at a casual wedding


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#1 binzer

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    Posted 09 February 2009 - 05:42 PM

    I tried doing a search on this, but I just got a million results about other stuff, sooo...


    I'm having a fairly casual wedding in Costa Rica at a boutique hotel that we have completely to ourselves. There will be about 20 people present, and the "reception" is basically dinner and dancing with a Calypso band.

    I've only been to a couple weddings ever, and they had the typical MC with speeches practically on a timer, but since my wedding is fairly casual and it's an intimate setting I don't feel like I need to force speeches on anyone, but I'm sure there will be some guests who would make toasts regardless.

    That being said, I don't want it to be awkward, and for it to feel too un-wedding-y, so how do most people proceed in this sort of situation? Do you ask people beforehand if they'll do a quick toast? And if so, what toasts should be done and by whom? Do you just let people do them whenever, or what?

    Anyways, I've never been to a casual wedding and I have no idea how this should work! Please let me know of any possibilities :)

    #2 yamille

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      Posted 09 February 2009 - 08:38 PM

      I'm not quite sure either but maybe if you have a microphone available for people to go up and make speeches at their own leisure that would work. You might want to talk to people beforehand that you know will definately be making a speech (moh, parents.. ) and let them start off at some point during or after dinner.

      I think the important part is having ONE person start off for sure this way people don't feel too shy and then therefore no speeches. Hope this helps!

      #3 starchild

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        Posted 09 February 2009 - 08:57 PM

        I totally understand this and we felt the same way about passing the mic around. It's great but it takes a lot of time and I've been a guest at weddings where you don't know the people making toasts and you can't wait for it to end...we just wanted to dance and chill.

        So, my father spoke briefly then we had our videographer go around to people individually over the course of the evening. Everyone was able to say what they wanted and it was a treat to see when we got our video back.

        Hope that helps :)

        #4 Christinamaria22

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          Posted 09 February 2009 - 11:17 PM

          I am in the same boat... I am having a "private" cake eating and music after dinner just so the small group of 20 can mingle, but we are not really doing teh traditinal stuff so i wonder how we should announce the first dance music being played by our ipod and base.... no MC so... ugh! I need some pointer too... will it be a total flop?

          #5 binzer

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            Posted 10 February 2009 - 02:58 AM

            I don't even think we'll have a mic...it seems a bit silly when there's 20 people all sitting close together (I think just simply standing would be enough). I'm definitely going to ask my dad to say something (I'll probably get him to welcome everyone) but I'm worried that if I ask people to say something they'll feel like they'll need to write and plan some elaborate speech.

            I'm going to talk to the manager/owner of the hotel later this week (he's sort of organizing everything) and hopefully I can get some advice from him. The hotel only holds 24 people and I know they've had weddings there before, so he may have some good ideas.

            It seems like this is a common concern, so you experienced wedding-savvy ladies please continue to feed us your advice :)

            #6 Christinamaria22

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              Posted 10 February 2009 - 11:36 AM

              I have def been concerned...its so stressful and I keep telling myself in reality it wont matter because the small group is just family so they can care less what goes on but i dunno i care...

              Hopefully we can get some input that can help

              #7 TA Lindsay

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                Posted 10 February 2009 - 11:42 AM

                We kept it pretty casual...we started out with my brother saying a few words and then he read a letter from a family friend who was unable to make it to the wedding...then my dad did a quick toast and FIL did a quick speech and then DH and I said a few thank yous...we left it open for whoever wanted to say something...it worked out pretty well...

                Lindsay

                #8 Simistar

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                  Posted 10 February 2009 - 08:16 PM

                  I think we've ALL been to a wedding where there was an awkward speech...
                  So, my DH and I decided NO SPEECHES at our wedding:_)
                  Which was also small (26 total)...
                  DH got up and spoke at the beginning of dinner (and mentioned no speeches then), and I got up at the end of dinner to say a few words...
                  It was GREAT:-)

                  Anyone who REALLY wanted to say something said it at dinner the next night

                  #9 Gail

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                    Posted 10 February 2009 - 08:46 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by Christinamaria22
                    I am in the same boat... I am having a "private" cake eating and music after dinner just so the small group of 20 can mingle, but we are not really doing teh traditinal stuff so i wonder how we should announce the first dance music being played by our ipod and base.... no MC so... ugh! I need some pointer too... will it be a total flop?
                    I have been stresing about that also. We are having private recep at resort around 40 people. Ipod. So how do I organize...announce dance...cake...we have mic. NO MC
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                    #10 binzer

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                      Posted 10 February 2009 - 10:08 PM

                      Lindsay,

                      when you had those toasts, where they all at once, or were they timed, or did they just happen when people were ready?

                      I don't want to have to organize things and put pressure on people, but I don't want to forbid speeches either (my dad made a beautiful speech at my sister's more traditional wedding, and I don't want to miss out if he's planning one for me).

                      Hearing what other people have done is really helpful, so please continue to do so everyone :)




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