Two Weddings???!!

jennalkennedy · February 9, 2009

Ok, so I am really new to this forum because we just decided on a DW last week but now my fiance is having second thoughts....well more than just second thoughts he really has changed his mind I think. It started because he was concerned about some specific people not being able to attend a DW which I get.

I suggested we have a small legal thing here that he could invite only those close family members that would otherwise be left out to... well now that small group has grown to a list of 100! So, do we have 2 weddings or what? I guess the DW is more my dream than his but it is what I and my family REALLY want. Should I just give up in the interest of getting along? I kind of feel like he is trying to kill the DW w/o saying "no".

Any help or ideas? Anyone else encountered something like this? How did you work it out? He is ok with the idea of having two weddings but I don'tknow that I am or that itwould be proper.

Jacilynda · February 9, 2009

How many people are able to come to your DW? The only thing about 2 weddings, well to me, would be budget. That could be pricey, but if you have the money and it makes you both happy do it, just make sure to have a WC cause it could get crazy planning 2 weddings.

We have ALOT of people who can't come. We are already legally married. We're having approx 40 people in Mexico, and then just having an AHR after. We have about 200 people coming to AHR.

~Nicole~ · February 10, 2009

I think that you both need to be on the same page. Neither my FI or I cared about how many people could attend our DW, even if it was just the two of us and I think that makes a huge difference as to whether the decision fits you as a couple. I would find out exactly how important it is to him and why you were considering a DW in the first place. I personally wouldn't have two weddings, but I also don't see anything wrong with it. I guess if there's room for that sort of compromise then go for it! Good luck!

boven · February 10, 2009

We were in a similar situation to yours when we initially started talking about weddings. I absolutely wanted a DW because I'm unconventional and the idea of a big wedding stresses me out. His initial image of a DW was equivalent to eloping, which he absolutely did not want. We have since gotten on the same page and decided to invite only significant people in our lives (which is turning out to be about 75-100 folks), knowing that some will not be able to make it. It's a hard decision to make but it really is important to find out what his true feelings are about a DW.