15 replies to this topic

[meghanmbm]

Dont even ask me why I need to know this b/c I will rant endlessly, but who is supposed to throw the bridal shower? The Mother of the bride or the bridesmaids?

[litl_april]

All the etiquette I've read basically says anyone but the brides immediate family (can be seen as the bride asking for gifts or something I remember reading). The bridesmaids should definately try to throw a shower I would say. For myself, my bridesmaids and my FI's aunts want to throw me a shower and since we recently moved out of the state they figure on going in together and throwing one that way since there's really not time for more. I know this isn't real technical, but hope it helps.

Here's what I found from an "A-Z Etiquette" guide website and the link in case you want to take a closer look:

Bridal Shower Etiquette - Who should host the party?

Traditionally the maid or matron of honor hosts the party.
Some experts state it is an absolute no-no for a family member to throw the bridal shower and other experts say the modern rule is more relaxed and the old rule can be ignored. Perhaps it is best to consult with families involved in order to decide how closely you should follow any of the old rules.
A bridal shower rule that has not changed is that the bride never hosts her own bridal shower.

Bridal Shower

[FutureMrsLewis]

This is something I've been wondering too, thanks for bringing it up meghanmbm

[beachbride08]

I think the "rules" may vary depending on where you live as I just noticed from another thread. Here, it is usually the bride's family that throws the bridal shower. The bridal party may help with set up, but the cost is taken care of by whoever is hosting the shower, and then the bridesmaids throw the bachelorette party. My aunt and cousin threw my bridal shower. I knew about the shower, but I didn't have any involvement with it or help plan it in any way. I just had to show up.

[tylersgirl]

Yeah, I think it does depend on where you live. Here in the south it is usually hosted by friends of the bride and family friends. All I am going to have to do is show up!

[lolkitteh]

Well, I would personally find it somewhat tacky if the mother-of-the-bride, or any immediate family member (like a sibling) threw a shower. I think aunts, cousins, etc. would be OK. Traditionally, it should be the MoH that does it - just as the Best Man throws the bachelor party. Like anything else, thought, showers are absolutely optional - no one *has* to have one.

That said, - all situations are different.

I've been invited (and attended) one shower that was hosted by the bride herself! While I think situationally it *might* be OK if a sister or mother did it, I would say without a doubt that throwing your own shower is the ultimate in tacky and you should never do it. As pointed out, the purpose of a shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts - so throwing your own shower (or having an immediate family member do it) is tatamount to saying "give me presents!" LOL.

[nibsmom]

Well, my fiance's mother and grandmother decided they are throwing mine. LOL. I don't have a choice in the matter...or I wouldn't have wanted one at all! It's wierd in our situation though because all my family and friends are from MA, and we live in WI...and all his family is from IL. So people are pretty scattered about, and party planning is a little more difficult!

[KatyKo]

I think whatever you feel is right is how your friends/family should do it. I'm not going to judge someone because their sister or Mother wants to throw them a shower. In my case, my sister is my MOH...

My FI's Mom and Aunt are throwing me a shower, then my Aunts and Grandmother want to throw me one. I thought my friends might enjoy throwing me one, but I don't know if they will or not.

I think it would be nice to have a few, but I just want the punch that is involved with showers...YUM!! haha

[*Casey*]

I'm from the south (TX) and it's pretty much whoever offers throws you a shower. Usually brides will have a couple. I have 3 sisters and they all had 2. One was thrown by a few of my mom's close friends, and the 2nd was thrown by the FI's family friends. Then the day before the wedding they all had a bridesmaids lunch thrown by my aunts. I think anything pretty much goes though.

[K&Rwedding]

I think anymore it is whomever offers. Most info I found on this states it is your bridesmaids or friends. Usually isn't immediate family, but I think this is assuming they are paying for the wedding.

I believe any mroe anything goes.