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Amount of ppl going - am I too sensitive??


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#11 fudgie

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    Posted 29 January 2009 - 04:03 PM

    I was thinking the same as you. People would ask how many we have coming to our wedding and I always feel bad saying "about 17 so far". I have since realized though that regardless of the amount of people coming that FI and I are getting married on a beautiful beach and having those closest to me there! I actually think that if there were more than I would be overwhelmed and concerned about everyone else.
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    #12 Erin1980

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      Posted 29 January 2009 - 04:48 PM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by fudgie
      I was thinking the same as you. People would ask how many we have coming to our wedding and I always feel bad saying "about 17 so far". I have since realized though that regardless of the amount of people coming that FI and I are getting married on a beautiful beach and having those closest to me there! I actually think that if there were more than I would be overwhelmed and concerned about everyone else.
      Thank youuuuuuuu, my thoughts exactly.
      Plus isn't one of the main bonuses of a DW that it's SMALL? And doesn't everyone who plans to have a DW do so accepting the fact that not everyone invited may be able to attend, INCLUDING close friends and/or family?

      My brother most likely won't be able to come to mine, due to where he'll be in the world, where our wedding is, and his job. Do I want my brother there on my big day? Absolutely. Am I completely destroyed over this? No.

      Any wedding-obsessed girls, don't read any further. A wedding is a big deal, I don't deny it. But it's not the single, most IMPORTANT day of your WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE. That's a pretty big label that maybe NO day will ever merit. There are lots of important events in life, and if your friends/family miss one, they'll make it for it by attending another. That's the way the cookie crumbles. You gotta go into this level-headed and put things into perspective. In the end, the only non-negotiables for me were me and my man and our parents. I was prepared to go thru with it if those were the ONLY ppl who were coming with us.

      We're having an AHR to make up for friends and family that couldn't come. That's always an option, as is just a dinner party, or garden party, or whatever. It doesn't have to be a $20,000 affair at a ritzy hotel with catering and a DJ if you don't want it to be.

      #13 *Lo*

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        Posted 29 January 2009 - 04:54 PM

        I only want immediate family and best friends to attend. But my FI kind of wants to invite a lot of his friends. So I don't know. But I wouldn't feel bad about not having a lot of people there, you should celebrate with those that you want!!

        #14 Hartyt509

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          Posted 29 January 2009 - 05:51 PM

          Think yourself lucky i've only got 6 booked lol I gave up worrying about it weeks ago it isn't worth it - honestly

          #15 BeautifulBridetoBe

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            Posted 29 January 2009 - 07:45 PM

            I must agree. Be assured that you should have the wedding you want, not the one everyone else would prefer you have. The wedding is just one day, but the memories your wedding day last long after the cake is cut. So it is important that they be the memories you want to have. When choosing to have a DW, I ran a little experiment on my girlfriend who was wondering why we could not just get married in Toronto.

            I asked her how many weddings she had attended in her lifetime.
            She said about 15.
            I asked her if she remembered all 15.
            She didn't, as a matter of fact, I think she recalled about 4of them and all of the details were fuzzy.
            She could not remember what she ate, what the BMs wore, what churches they were at, the names of the wedding couple,, etc.

            But I am sure the brides of those weddings remember!

            That is my point. Why have a wedding to please your guests and perhaps in 5 years and 5 weddings later, they won't even remember yours? As brides, we remember ALL of the details...our guests forget. We see the little things that our closest family and friends never see. Therefore, it is important to have the wedding you want to have. The memories of your wedding will be very special to you, long after guests forget.

            For my wedding, we prayed from the beginning that those who were supposed to be there would be. That means that we will not stress over the guest list...we are leaving it in God's hands. If someone cannot make it, we know God has it all under control. And when we are surprised by a booking, we leave that it God's hand too. We are trusting that who God intended to be there will be.

            A small guest list can be a blessing.
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            #16 Jennifer Davis

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              Posted 29 January 2009 - 09:50 PM

              If you are concerned that not a lot of people are going to be at your wedding maybe you can have an AHR for those who can't make it?

              As many people have said - times are TOUGH and getting worse and worse. I think many of us with weddings in 2009 and 2010 will see our attendees drop from what we originally anticipated as the recession rears its ugly head.

              I invited 80 people - I am expecting about 15 - 20 tops now. I was a little disappointed at first, but I realized that the actual wedding will cost quite a bit less now. We can now extend our stay in Mexico and use the money we would have had to spend on the wedding on a longer honeymoon!

              #17 missybee99

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                Posted 29 January 2009 - 10:02 PM

                I know it can get a little disappointing... (right now, I have only 5 people booked, and I don't expect many more...).
                But, it will be so much less stressful, and I know that the ones that are coming have done everything they can to get there!!!
                (Including my Mom, who literally picked bottles to save up!!!!)
                And that means the WORLD to me!!!
                Your wedding is about You and your FH, and don't let anyone or anything change your mind about your dream wedding!!

                #18 SunBride

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                  Posted 30 January 2009 - 01:26 AM

                  We were only 10! Immediate family only. We invited our closest friends, but they couldn't come. Yep, my supposed to be maid of honour (best friend of 25 years) and my husband's suppose to be best man couldn't make it. that was such a disappointed that we figured we'd stop there and not bother inviting anyone else (as we knew it would just emphasize the fact that those 2 people weren't there)

                  So all we had is our parents and sisters (and one sister's boyfriend).

                  While I do wish others could have made it, there were advantages to it being smaller: cheaper, more intimate, more relaxing and family-oriented vacation, etc

                  #19 PaddleAddict

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                    Posted 30 January 2009 - 03:36 AM

                    We are inviting about 70 and I really hope only about 25 come. We know immediate family and most of our closest friends can make it, and that is all that matters to us. We are really looking forward to a small, intimate wedding, one where we can interact with our guests who we are closest to. Fi and I never wanted a big wedding, and best way to ensure that was a DW... best idea ever!

                    #20 Cattie

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                      Posted 30 January 2009 - 04:56 AM

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by BeautifulBridetoBe
                      I asked her how many weddings she had attended in her lifetime.
                      She said about 15.
                      I asked her if she remembered all 15.
                      She didn't, as a matter of fact, I think she recalled about 4of them and all of the details were fuzzy.
                      She could not remember what she ate, what the BMs wore, what churches they were at, the names of the wedding couple,, etc.

                      But I am sure the brides of those weddings remember!

                      That is my point. Why have a wedding to please your guests and perhaps in 5 years and 5 weddings later, they won't even remember yours? As brides, we remember ALL of the details...our guests forget. We see the little things that our closest family and friends never see. Therefore, it is important to have the wedding you want to have. The memories of your wedding will be very special to you, long after guests forget.

                      A small guest list can be a blessing.
                      I couldn't have said this better myself. We have 21 booked including ourselves. I'm not expecting any others to book. We had about 10 others that kept saying they where going to go, but now have backed out, and that doesn't bother me in the least.

                      The FI's best friend isn't going, who was supposed to be his best man. Which really bothers me, but I do understand his mom is really sick right now, and he has alot going on. However he has his cousin standing for him now, even though we had to pay part of his trip so he could afford it, I'd rather had him have a BM that he wants, not just someone to sign the paperwork. So I'll have to skip a shopping trip or 2!

                      I'm just glad that both sets of parents can make it. Anyone else is an added bonus. And honestly if our guest attendance was bigger, I wouldn't have been able to do alot of the extra stuff I'm doing for people, like pay for part of the BM's trip!




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