Small Wedding

maisy · January 27, 2009

Hi there, I have been looking at alot of beautiful wedding photos on this site and I have a question about having a small destination wedding.

We would really like to have our wedding in either Cuba, DR or Jamaica in the spring or fall of 2010. At this point we know for sure it will be us and my two kids attending for sure but I'm not certain if anyone else will be attending with us. Most of our family/close friends cannot travel there due to either being unable to travel to these places for various reasons or deceased. There may be a couple or two from our friends/family but not exactly certain at this point. My concern here is that we may not have anyone there with us who could watch my kids for us while we do a few excursions on our own and also how a small wedding like this is done.

We have lots of suggestions that we should just get married here and travel to one of these places for a honeymoon but we are not interested in having a traditional church type wedding and reception here at home. We would really like to be married on the beach or in a tropical place somewhere, the traditional weddings are not of any interest to us.

My real concern here is my kids and the size of the wedding.

I thought that maybe I can send them back home with family after the wedding ceremony and we can stay a few more days to do some things on our own as "newly weds" but I'm not sure how that would work either. I'm concerned about them traveling on their own on a plane.

My other concern is the size of our wedding and how a small wedding like this is done. There wouldn't be a huge private reception party so I don't know how this is done as well? Also like who would be our matron of honor or best man LOL....I don't know....I have soo many questions about a wedding like this

Any advice and photos will be greatly appreciated!!!

Thank you very much

pearlygirl · January 27, 2009

Hi there & congrats! I'm sure you'll have many more questions along the way, but this is a great place to find answers.

Here are my opinions....

Depending on which resort you pick, some of them have kids clubs. I haven't had any personal experience but whenever we go on vacation (Mexico & Jamaica), the children always seem to enjoy being with the staff of the kids club. I've seen them doing many many things around the resort, and a lot of times, the children end up participating in the evening entertainment with little skits or plays etc. Maybe someone on this forum has had personal experience with the kids clubs?

Or.....you could pay for a nanny (close friend, neice, cousin etc) to come along with you to entertain the children. That way, you could spend as much time with the children as you'd like, but also feel comfortable going on excursions if you have a close friend/family member there to watch the kids.

As far as the size of the wedding goes, you can do whatever you want. Some people don't have anybody in their bridal parties, some have many. I think it is just fine not to have any attendants and have just you and FI.

Good luck in the planning and I'm sure if you have any more questions, someone on this forum will have an answer for you!

kellywinter1 · January 27, 2009

First off welcome to the forum, maisy!

I totally understand how you feel. Me and my fiance never pictured ourselves having a traditional at home wedding so we like the rest of the gals on here decided for a destination wedding.

We wanted to involved our friends and family as much as we could at first. But then due to the economy and many people's job status we decideded we weren't going to be able to have the destination wedding we were originally planning on. So we decided we were going to elope to the Riviera Maya.

Eloping was a hard decision for us both to come to. We really wanted our parents there but both of our parents wouldn't be able to come. We wanted some of our close friends to attend but we couldn't have some and not others. But most of all I wanted my 5 year old to be able to attend. But it just wasn't possible.

We decided that our wedding was about us and while we wanted to include every one we just couldn't and every one understands that including my daughter. So we are considering having an at home "reception" to celebrate our marriage.

I don't know how old your children are but there are several resorts that offer activities for kids to do while their parents are doing other things. That may be an option for you? Again, I don't know how old your children are but I also don't think I would be comfortable sending my child off on a flight by themselves unless they are older. But if other couples/family members are attending I am sure they would be willing to assit the children on the flight back if they are leaving at the same time.

I also don't think its a big deal that you don't have the big reception or wedding party at your wedding. I think you can create something just as special with just you and your future husband. Me and my fiance are having a ceremony and cake and are doing a dinner. We are still having traditional aspects that are important to us like the dress, cake, pictures, ect. But having a maid of honor and best main were not priorities for us.

All in all this is your special day! There is no rule book saying you have to do this or that or have this person or that person at your wedding so you can do whatever you want! I think you will find many resorts that will be accomidating to you and your needs no matter what your size.

2bebridejamaica · January 27, 2009

Congrats and welcome Maisy!!!

We went with Beaches for our wedding because we have a 6 yr old and wanted to make this expierence as special as possible for him and really it was a no brainer and the best choice we could have made for all of our family. We also had a small wedding with 13 people total. Beaches is totally kids and in our party we had our 2 nephews too who are 4 and 8. The 3 kids went off to kids camp at least once a day. The activites are all age related and split into groups. My sons favorites were making Wizard Wands, Pirate Bandanas, and hanging out with Zoey for a dance party on the beach. Beaches for adults is amazing too ... with the spa, the sports complex, and adult entertainment at night we were always busy with something. They also have in room nannies available to you. We didn't need them but they are the same people the kids interact with at Kids Camp so it's not a stranger to them when you leave for the night.

Like you said ... it did feel odd and I cried my eyes out the day that my son was leaving with my in laws back for the states and we were staying 5 more days to MH... but I knew he was taken care of and actually he was fine with it all ... he couldn't wait to get back on the plane.

Anything is possible and it's your day... enjoy it in a place you really want and everything else will fall into place.

Hope this helps and there is never a right or wrong answer when it comes anything DW on here.. we are always ready to help!!

fudgie · January 27, 2009

Hi and welcome Maisy!

We are also having a somewhat small wedding, approx 12 adults and 6 kids age 7-15. We picked a resort that had a kids club and also offers babysitters. We aren't doing many of the traditional things involved in a wedding but keeping it small, simple and limiting ourselves to the things that we really want to be included. It is kind of hard keeping yourself on track and not going past what you originally planned. Since being on this forum I have gotten tons of ideas that I think add great touches to a DW and are simple enough to do. But a wedding, regardless of the size and even if it is just the two of you, can be whatever you always dreamt it to be! I am not having a wedding party because we didn't want to make it too formal. The resort can also provide witnesses for you. Basically with a DW you can do whatever you want!

sunsetbride1 · January 28, 2009

Welcome Maisy!!!

As far as having a small wedding- we are also having a small'ish wedding. It may end up being our WP and parents.. less than 20 ppl. We are staying at an AI; so there is no need for us to have/pay for a formal reception. We will just all have dinner together at one of the restaurants afterwards and then party at the disco for the night. You also don't need to have a WP if you don't want one ... there are lots of threads on here about ladies not having them. It's a completely personal decision.

As far as having some honeymoon time to yourselves... I agree with the people above. Most resorts have kids clubs, etc... or I love the idea of hiring a nanny to come along on the trip; so for even a night or two the kids can stay in the nanny's room so you and FI can have some alone time *wink, wink*.

If your dream is to get married on the beach; then do it... all the gals on here will tell you the same thing. All of us have probably had doubts or doubters in our wedding planning process. Follow yours and FI's heart... there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to DW's and for me, thats part of the fun!