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Are kids coming to your destination wedding?

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#11 Hoosierfan

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    Posted 28 January 2009 - 01:24 AM

    A tough one! We aren't inviting kids to the wedding or reception, but I've told my friends/family that they are welcome to bring them if they're making it a family vacation and we will make arrangements for babysitting (some are bringing a parent or other sitter with them, but most are viewing the long weekend as an adult getaway). If we weren't having a flower girl, though, I agree that we would have chosen an adults only resort to eliminate the issue.

    As a person who's traveled out of town for a dozen weddings the last couple of years, though, I've attended more weddings that were adults-only than not - and those were "destinations" in their own right and often required 3 nights away even though they were in the US! If you're doing a long weekend (vs. a week), I think if you communicate it far in advance to those close to you, you'll be in much better shape. At the end of the day, if you've accepted the fact that some will come and some won't (regardless of kids, destination, timing, etc), hopefully you won't be too disappointed.
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    #12 Erin1980

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      Posted 28 January 2009 - 03:08 PM

      Funny this thread was created. We booked at Sandals, aka Adults-Only, aka NO KIDS ALLOWED. My man's brother has a baby and a 4 year-old. My MIL said it probably wasn't an option for them to leave the kids with the other grandparents. She said she was going to call Sandals to see if they'd "make an exception". Thankfully it didn't come to that because my man stepped in to say that *WE* didn't want to make an exception, hence the ADULTS-ONLY RESORT!
      I was going to the wall for the no-kids thing. Both of us envision the big day just WITHOUT screaming kids or breast-feeding and we weren't willing to waiver on it.

      P.S. MIL is now paying for my bro-in-law, his random gf and BOTH of their kids to stay at a nearby 5-star all-ages resort, and only my BIL will come to the wedding while his gf babysits. Enjoy your week in the Bahamas while your baby gets sand down her diaper. How fair is that? My wedding turned out to be a giant $7,000 hand out for my BIL. But no, I'm not bitter.

      #13 mexicanbridewithquestions

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        Posted 30 January 2009 - 12:25 AM

        Thanks so much for the input guys. I will keep you posted

        #14 mexicanbridewithquestions

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          Posted 30 January 2009 - 12:26 AM

          Thanks so much for the input guys. I will keep you posted

          #15 Celina

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            Posted 03 February 2009 - 03:49 AM

            We had kids at our wedding (our two and one of my BM's two kids). We had 32 guests in total. We had ours at an AI and honestly you really didn't notice the kids. Unless people are loaded with $$ they wont' take their kids. Between the cost of passports and flights, it is expensive for most to take their kids.

            Keep in mind that if you tell people no kids, many wont'come because as others have said it is hard to find babysitters for kids for more than a weekend.

            Good luck!
            "Love is not who you live with...it's who you can't live without"

            #16 Jess

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              Posted 03 February 2009 - 06:45 PM

              yeah I would book an adults only resort.

              #17 lolkitteh

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                Posted 03 February 2009 - 07:19 PM

                We want an adults-only wedding, but aren't specifically telling people that it is an adults-only wedding - we are basically making it one by our destination. (Vegas). Despite what the Vegas tourist board would like families to believe, it's not really all that child-friendly, IMO, and I think all of our guests get that.

                I personally think that it would be somewhat hurtful to specifically say it's adults-only. I don't have kids myself, but many of my friends do, so for me to say that it's adults-only would basically be my saying "you can't come to the wedding". My MoH has a young child, and I offered to pay for a nanny so she could come, but she ended up being able to drop off her kid with her parents for the weekend of our wedding.

                I think folks need to realize that once people have kids, it's really hard to leave them at home for a weekend, much less to tromp off to an exotic destionation for a whole week, both from the parental responsibility perspective and from the cost perspective. (once you have kids, money gets a lot tighter). I feel that telling them that they can't bring thier kids on what could be a family vacation for them would be viewed as an insult.

                That said, there will be no "and family" on my invite, so it's clear that kids are not welcome to either the wedding or reception. If people want/need to bring their kids to Vegas, I wont stop them. If there is enough need, then we'll probably arrange for nanny service to help out the parents.

                Have a little sympathy for the folks with kids - someday you might have them, too. ;-)

                #18 punkie569

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                  Posted 03 February 2009 - 07:26 PM

                  The way I saw it my wedding day was only one day out of the whole vacation so whoever I was inviting I had to want to spend at least a week with them. I don't like to vacation with kids so they weren't invited. We will be booking at an adults only resort as well because we didn't want to hear kids period. Lucky for us though that only affects my sister and she's happy to leave her 2 boys with their other grandparents.

                  We are also having an adults only AHR and I whoever doesn't like that can stay home. Most people we know are happy to have a child free night so we don't think it will be much of a problem. I'm keeping my fingers crossed though because this situation did become a big problem for my dad when he got married a few years ago. Big fight with his sister to the point where she wasn't even going to attend. And when one of his friends showed up with her baby anyway that didn't go over well at all. But in the end it's your wedding and your special day and if you don't want kids there then people either have to accept that and find a babysitter or they don't attend and that is their loss.
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                  #19 Cindy&London

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                    Posted 03 February 2009 - 07:38 PM

                    We want kids at our wedding, they are part of our family. Plus, we have a 6 month old daughter, who I can't wait to bring to Mexico! My niece is coming and she is 1 year old... I don't know if anyone is bringing their kids. It's hard to find a babysitter and I don't think I could be away from my daughter for that long. You don't have to babysit them and I'm sure they will be in bed by 9pm.. I know mine will!! My parents live in Ontario and I live in Alberta so it's also a chance for them to see their grandaughters.
                    If you don't want kids at your DW then you should book at an Adults Only Resort and let people know this ahead of time. Also, be aware that some people will have a hard time finding a sitter or they may just simply not want to leave their kids at home.
                    I agree with lolkitteh "Have a little sympathy for the folks with kids - someday you might have them, too. ;-)"

                    Good Luck and Happy Planning :)

                    #20 Erin1980

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                      Posted 04 February 2009 - 02:02 PM

                      Beware to the Vegas bride, our invites specifically had the names of invited guests ONLY, and when we called FH's brother to confirm the no kid thing, he said "Oh well we're already starting on baby's paperwork for her passport." Like excuse me? Was her name on the invite? Did you now see the "adults only" details on the info insert of our invite? How many other ways are there to say it?

                      If you really want adults only, then you might need to open your mouth and say the words "adults only", or else don't be mad when ppl just ASSUME their kids are invited.

                      On one hand, ppl should be sensitive to ppl with children because it's not easy to leave them behind and not easy to bring them.

                      On the other hand, ppl with children should not assume that their kids are invited to everything and should not force their children on other ppl, especially at a wedding when it's the bride and groom's decision on all details relating to their special day.

                      Contrary to popular belief, most resorts/hotels at sun&sand destinations are child friendly BUT NOT BABY FRIENDLY. There's a difference. No easy access to baby supplies or food, no changing areas, maybe no easily accessible umbrellas to keep the sun from burning a baby, no easy elevators to haul your stroller around, etc. I still can't understand why anyone would bring a young child/baby on vacation like that. I just can't picture it being very feasible/fun. But that is just IMHO.

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