Are kids coming to your destination wedding?
Posted 28 January 2009 - 01:24 AM
As a person who's traveled out of town for a dozen weddings the last couple of years, though, I've attended more weddings that were adults-only than not - and those were "destinations" in their own right and often required 3 nights away even though they were in the US! If you're doing a long weekend (vs. a week), I think if you communicate it far in advance to those close to you, you'll be in much better shape. At the end of the day, if you've accepted the fact that some will come and some won't (regardless of kids, destination, timing, etc), hopefully you won't be too disappointed.
Posted 28 January 2009 - 03:08 PM
I was going to the wall for the no-kids thing. Both of us envision the big day just WITHOUT screaming kids or breast-feeding and we weren't willing to waiver on it.
P.S. MIL is now paying for my bro-in-law, his random gf and BOTH of their kids to stay at a nearby 5-star all-ages resort, and only my BIL will come to the wedding while his gf babysits. Enjoy your week in the Bahamas while your baby gets sand down her diaper. How fair is that? My wedding turned out to be a giant $7,000 hand out for my BIL. But no, I'm not bitter.
Posted 30 January 2009 - 12:25 AM
Posted 30 January 2009 - 12:26 AM
Posted 03 February 2009 - 03:49 AM
Keep in mind that if you tell people no kids, many wont'come because as others have said it is hard to find babysitters for kids for more than a weekend.
Posted 03 February 2009 - 07:19 PM
I personally think that it would be somewhat hurtful to specifically say it's adults-only. I don't have kids myself, but many of my friends do, so for me to say that it's adults-only would basically be my saying "you can't come to the wedding". My MoH has a young child, and I offered to pay for a nanny so she could come, but she ended up being able to drop off her kid with her parents for the weekend of our wedding.
I think folks need to realize that once people have kids, it's really hard to leave them at home for a weekend, much less to tromp off to an exotic destionation for a whole week, both from the parental responsibility perspective and from the cost perspective. (once you have kids, money gets a lot tighter). I feel that telling them that they can't bring thier kids on what could be a family vacation for them would be viewed as an insult.
That said, there will be no "and family" on my invite, so it's clear that kids are not welcome to either the wedding or reception. If people want/need to bring their kids to Vegas, I wont stop them. If there is enough need, then we'll probably arrange for nanny service to help out the parents.
Have a little sympathy for the folks with kids - someday you might have them, too. ;-)
Posted 03 February 2009 - 07:26 PM
We are also having an adults only AHR and I whoever doesn't like that can stay home. Most people we know are happy to have a child free night so we don't think it will be much of a problem. I'm keeping my fingers crossed though because this situation did become a big problem for my dad when he got married a few years ago. Big fight with his sister to the point where she wasn't even going to attend. And when one of his friends showed up with her baby anyway that didn't go over well at all. But in the end it's your wedding and your special day and if you don't want kids there then people either have to accept that and find a babysitter or they don't attend and that is their loss.
Posted 03 February 2009 - 07:38 PM
If you don't want kids at your DW then you should book at an Adults Only Resort and let people know this ahead of time. Also, be aware that some people will have a hard time finding a sitter or they may just simply not want to leave their kids at home.
I agree with lolkitteh "Have a little sympathy for the folks with kids - someday you might have them, too. ;-)"
Good Luck and Happy Planning
Posted 04 February 2009 - 02:02 PM
If you really want adults only, then you might need to open your mouth and say the words "adults only", or else don't be mad when ppl just ASSUME their kids are invited.
On one hand, ppl should be sensitive to ppl with children because it's not easy to leave them behind and not easy to bring them.
On the other hand, ppl with children should not assume that their kids are invited to everything and should not force their children on other ppl, especially at a wedding when it's the bride and groom's decision on all details relating to their special day.
Contrary to popular belief, most resorts/hotels at sun&sand destinations are child friendly BUT NOT BABY FRIENDLY. There's a difference. No easy access to baby supplies or food, no changing areas, maybe no easily accessible umbrellas to keep the sun from burning a baby, no easy elevators to haul your stroller around, etc. I still can't understand why anyone would bring a young child/baby on vacation like that. I just can't picture it being very feasible/fun. But that is just IMHO.
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