Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Jessica

People Who Don't RSVP

Recommended Posts

So, RSVP's are a really touchy subject for me. I included stamps on them along with clear instructions of when they were due, and that they NEEDED to be back by this due date because I have to give head counts and such.

 

So, several people did not return their RSVP cards. We hunted those down. We got a few "yeah, we're coming."

 

Ok, well you didn't send the RSVP back so we didn't know

 

"Oh, yeah. Well we're coming."

 

Okkkkkaaaaayyy. I bite my tongue for these people and angrily scribbled down there names on the "yes" list.

 

So, my aunt, cousin and cousin's gf, weren't originally on my invite list, not because i don't want them there, but honestly, haven't seen them since i was like 15 and it just didn't occur to me. However, my cousin is close to my dad and lives in the same area as my dad (parents are divorced). But they expressed interest in coming to my dad, so I said, cool, and sent them everything when I sent out everyone elses.

 

They did not return their RSVP's.

 

Ok.

 

They recived that same "Are you coming?" call.

 

They reply with "Yeah, I think so."

 

Well, ok, but I need an answer ASAP.

 

Repeat this process for the past month.

 

No seriously people, I NEED your answers. Final head counts are needed for the reception, ceremony (chairs,etc), transportation and a couple of other things. I mean I have vendors emailing me wanting the head count.

 

They still are being super wishy washy saying, yeah, we're trying to come but have to get our tickets etc. Ok, i understand they don't have a lot of money, but i gave them a year to save and if they wanted to come so bad, they should have started setting aside money long ago and not waited until the last minute to try to scrape it together. It's pissing me off!!!!

 

Finally I just included them in the headcount so I could start paying stuff. But if they don't come, it basically means I wasted about $500 accommodating them when they aren't showing. At this point I don't even want them there. At this point, I can still do a last minute headcount adjustment and get the money back, but they won't give me a firm answer if they are coming or not. I don't want to be completely rude and say "Well, you can't come, you didn't return the RSVP anyway!"

 

Ugh. I'm not even sure if this is a rant, question or what.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would not include them until they say 100%. I think it was tammy who went through the same thing and now she is happy with the 3 people that are coming.

 

Dont put out the cash until you are sure.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel your pain, what's worse is the people you know won't go but still won't send their RSVP card to give you a def NO.. And these people are usually the ones that pitch a b*tch about RSVP responses..

 

BTW Catherine, our number is now 5.. Cain's buddy that got a DUI, pleaded guilty and luckly he doesn't find out what his jugement will be until after our wedding so him and his GF are now going.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ya, I would just call up and tell them that final headcount goes in on x day (Monday or something), and won't be able to get changed after that. If they try to come afterwards just let them know they are invited to the ceremony, but unfortunately they didn't make the RSVP deadline, so they were not included in the dinner.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thats horrible that people arent sending back the RSVP cards. Its not like its that difficult! Check yes or no and throw it in the mail box!

Personally I think if these people cant give you an answer then you should just leave them out. Call and say I have to have the head count in today. Tell them you understand if they cant come so they dont feel bad if they have to say NO now. But if they still say they are not sure then let them know, unfortunatley you dont have the extra funds to pay for them if they may not show up.

Good luck with it all!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My take is, if they don't send the RSVP, they aren't coming. If they come, that's fine. But they won't have a chair for the ceremony, they won't have a place at the reception, and they won't have a lot of the "extras" like OOT bags. It's that simple. They can come and watch if they'd like. Disrespectful.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would leave them out until you know for sure that they are coming. I deal with this crap on a day to day basis for work, and I always go low for head counts. Usually vendors and hotels can accomodate the extras and you will just be charged for them, but after you guarantee, say 20, and only 15 show up you'll still pay for 20.

 

Does that make any sense at all??

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

uggh, I just printed my invitations & response cards yesterday and I'm not looking forward to the rsvp cards coming back. Especially since a lot of people aren't coming, but I feel its necessary to send them an invite anyway, so I know its going to drive me absolutely bonkers when people aren't sending them back!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for the feedback girls. And yes, TVT, that makes sense.

 

Actually, thanks for mentioning that because it occured to me that ok, if they show up, they won't have chairs at the ceremony and extras like the oot and favors and stuff, but because my reception is at a resturant on a public night, it should be easy to add on their dishes at the reception. There just won't be a guaranteed table for them, but I'm sure that would be easy to work out.

 

But I'm still upset about the complete lack of disregard for the RSVP prcess I've experienced from my family and friends. I don't understand it. Grr.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • The cooking method can double the calorie content of a meal, so learn about healthy cooking without having to add extra fats, like using a steamer,  a rotisserie , a slow cooker , a pressure cooker, a grill. Once you cook your own meals, you can control the calorie content because your control the cooking method and all the ingredients. A lot of people are overweight because they keep eating food that they did not cook.
    • I have stayed at Dreams La Romana and Dreams Dominicus.  The two resorts are very different in style and decor. A few comparison points are below and fact sheets are attached for both.   Both resorts are approx 45 minutes from Punta Cana airport, close proximity to Saona Island, Catalina Island and Altos de Chavon. Top championship golf courses in the Caribbean are just minutes away including Teeth of the Dog, Dye Fore, The Links and La Estancia – all designed by world-famous Pete Dye. Restaurants are similar at both resorts.  Both offer the Explorers Club for Kids.  Dreams Dominicus  Brand new resort and in 2016 488 rooms (however additional construction was underway) More contemporary style & decor Good beach area Rooms were very nice Preferred Club located in main lobby and adjacent to main pool & beach front Food was good Center plaza area with nighttime entertainment Main lobby is small, but outdoor bar off lobby is nice Dreams La Romana Originally built in 2003 & opened as Dreams La Romana in 2008 756 rooms Recently renovated and new preferred club adults only lounge & pool added  Rooms are more traditional Caribbean decor Grounds are very lush and tropical Good beach area food was good    Dreams Dominicus fact sheet.pdf Dreams La Romana fact sheet.pdf
    • My sister has done it but with the destination wedding, only super close family members and friends came since it was expensive and farther. It was great though.
    • Thanks! I had it printed out. Very useful!!
    • Hello Guys, Are you looking for affordable wedding venue, reception halls, party rentals, outdoor event venue, birthday party venue in mobile al.  Choose Anne-Marie Cottage for your special occasion. Our cottage is an affordable venue for your intimate wedding.   Thank u 
  • Topics

×