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Veto'd as a bridesmaid

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#1 heather007

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    Posted 19 January 2009 - 11:37 AM

    I just got veto'd as a bridesmaid, I'm so flipping mad!!!!

    The story:
    A girl who I'm friends with asked me like two years ago to be one of her bridesmaids for her upcoming 2010 wedding. I said yes, ofcourse. As time progressed, I went from bridesmaid to maid of honour, to not being in the wedding party, to bridesmaid again. The reasoning for this? She has a habit of changing friends very quickly. Let's just say, I have known her for three years and I am one of her "longest" friends. I only talk to her/see her about once a month because we aren't that close.

    So, when she "re-asked" me, I said yes, but I would be very busy up until my own wedding [2.5 weeks away]. Plus, I told her I'm very busy with school- during the summer, I took full time classes plus worked full time, last semester I took three classes plus a full time practicum along with me being a teacher's assistant for two university classes, equaling over 120 students. This semester I'm taking 4 classes and I'm now a research assistant [I'm helping to write a textbook for the university. Go me!!!!

    Plus, not to mention my own wedding planning.

    She was aware of this and said that it would be fine. She also told me that her wedding isn't until 2010, so not a big deal. Well, she moved up her wedding to 2009 sometime [she hasn't actually told me when because it kepts changing months] but she went ahead and did all of her favours without me. She said that she called, but I never got the message on my house phone or my cell phone. Her favours are soap that are wrapped in facecloths.
    Then she proceeded to tell me that I missed the dress fittings, once again, no phonecall. The dresses are orange pants with yellow tops. LoL. So, these were all done months ago and we had talked about it, I told her to email me if she gets my message machine and call more than once. She then pulls the card, "well I facebooked you" which I don't use facebook because it crashes my Vista.

    Anyway, she called last week to tell me that I had to come to the bridalshow with her [yesterday] because all of her bridesmaids will be there and I should be to. I didn't really want to go, because I have been battling food poisoning since Thursday and I can't keep anything down. But, to be a trooper, I said that I would. I phoned her Friday night to ask her what time and to tell her that I get in for free to, considering that I'm a bride, and she was like, "oh yeah, I forgot that you are." Then she wouldn't say anything. I asked her what was wrong and she said that it seems like I don't have enough time for her and that I'm ignoring her. I repeated once again how busy I am, plus with me own wedding, etc., all of what's written above. She then said, "well, it's not like I don't want you to be my bridesmaid, but I think that you are too busy and I'm the type of bride that needs my bridesmaids for everything." I was like, holy bridezilla.

    To make a long story short, I told her that we had discussed all of this when she first asked me, she was fine with me being busy, and she knew that once my own wedding was done, then I would be there for hers. She said she remembers but I should make time for her anyway. She then proceeded to tell me that I'm too involved with university and that when she went [she went for two semesters and failed out] she still had time for friends.

    So, she said that she thinks it's best that I don't be her bridesmaid because she didn't want to hate me by the time her wedding came around. I'm like, what? She agreed to me being busy: my own wedding, school, work? She also knows that my wedding is like in February and that once I got back then I would be able to do stuff for hers: like take dance lessons.

    She then said that it seems like all I care about is my own wedding and not hers. What? It made me so mad. So, I let her go, told her that she hurt me and that she can find someone else to stand up for her. She then called me back like 5 minutes later and told me that she was just stressing out and that she wants me to be a bridemaid. I proceeded to tell her that if she is this stressed out months before her wedding, then I don't want to see her 2.5 weeks before her wedding. I then said that no, I won't be her bridesmaid because she has hurt me too much with this drama and she can find someone else. She then said that she did have someone else lined up, totally ignoring the fact that I told her she hurt me.

    Ugh, that's my story. I'm just so sick and tired of self-absorbed people who don't understand that the world doesn't revolve around them.

    Does this whole thing make me a bitch?


    #2 Emily&Matt

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      Posted 19 January 2009 - 12:01 PM

      I think you have been very reasonable and accommodating and now you should thank God that you have been set free from that obligation. You have enough going on. I bet she'll call again and re-invite you when she is rejected by someone else, but just keep it short and sweet and tell her thanks but it's not going to work out. Stick to your guns and don't feel sorry for her. I don't think there's anything you can do to make her happy anyway. She is all about herself and people like that think the world and everyone else's lives should revolve around them.

      #3 boscobel

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        Posted 19 January 2009 - 12:07 PM

        Wow, good riddance to that friend, if that's the full story.

        #4 DallasAshli

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          Posted 19 January 2009 - 12:46 PM

          Originally Posted by carly
          good riddance to that friend
          Agreed. Plus, you dont have to wear "orange pants with yellow tops".

          I'm sorry you got hurt, but it didn't sound like you could win, at all. Now you can really focus on your wedding!

          #5 RoryS

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            Posted 19 January 2009 - 01:04 PM

            and she doesn't keep her friends Shocking!! I wonder why

            #6 ~*Kathy*~

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              Posted 19 January 2009 - 01:08 PM

              Originally Posted by carly
              Wow, good riddance to that friend, if that's the full story.
              Couldn't agree more! Seriously, she is not worth your time if she's going to behave like a 5 year old.

              #7 tylersgirl

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                Posted 19 January 2009 - 01:30 PM

                I can't believe her. She is not a friend to you! You don't need her and thank goodness you won't be wearing her horrendous sounding BM outfit, haha...I can't believe she was so selfish and rude to you. You sound like you are on the right track with school! Don't let her get to you. IMO I would just wash my hands of her!!!

                #8 deefalvey

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                  Posted 19 January 2009 - 02:48 PM

                  Sorry you are going through this. All I can say is if you are her friend, be supportive, give her any help she needs go to her wedding and as you sit there, be GLAD you are not wearing those BM outfits! They sound hideous!

                  You are probably better off! Cheers!
                  Bill and DeannaJuly 24, 2009

                  #9 Chiquita

                  • Sr. Member
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                    Posted 19 January 2009 - 03:04 PM

                    I don't think you were being unreasonable at all.. and if she asks again say NO. Jeesh.. those outfits sound atrocious anyways :)

                    #10 TammyWright


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                    Posted 19 January 2009 - 03:40 PM

                    you got off lucky...being a bridesmaid sucks. fif she is acting this way already, just imagine what a bridezilla she will be as the date gets closer.

                    focus your energy on your wedding instead.

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