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OMG I need to vent!!!

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#1 Prettyhazardous

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    Posted 12 January 2009 - 04:02 PM

    I'm really upset right now because so many people are saying that they are planning to just fly to St Thomas because the cruise is too expensive or too long. Not to seem rude but they are ruining my dream of my wedding. Ultimately with them doing that it's going to make for an unorganized day. And it's going to make for way more questions that I don't have answers to. People are just inviting whoever they want and not really considering the cost for us. I have scheduled for a tour for the entire group after the wedding but I almost want to make it just for the people who are cruising because we are already being charge $30 pp with just one pick up. What if they we have to pick ppl up from all over the island. This is getting out of hand and I really just want to elope. Even members of the bridal party are saying that they may be flying in. I mean I'll have no bridal party members to help me the day of.
    Please give me some advice guys. I don't want to seem selfish and like a Bridezilla but ppl are just ignoring my plans for my day. I understand that the cruise is expensive but it would be way way more if we went with NCL RCL or Princess.

    #2 Mishi

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    Posted 12 January 2009 - 04:10 PM

    It is your day and the last thing you want to do is stress... I would just make it clear that these are you plans and if they venture off on their own (flight, other hotel, etc) that they are responsible for their own costs (transfers, etc) and if they invite anyone else then all of their expenses are at their own costs and that they may not be able to attend because of limitations.

    Just remember it is your day and the last thing you want is to let others issues become yours. It will all work out beautifully and you won't care who is where when it comes time to say "I Do", as long as you and your husband are in each others arms.

    #3 ErinB


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      Posted 12 January 2009 - 04:20 PM

      I agree that you should only pick up the tab for those that cruise with you (unless there is some special circumstance).

      I stayed on land, but over half of my guests didn't stay for the whole week as was planned, they could only do a long weekend (kids, work, cost, etc)

      Also, as someone who gets sea sick, I would probably have asked you privately if I could fly in for the wedding, knowing I would be on my own for transportation.

      I do not think you are being a Bridezilla at all! But, I will play devil's advocate.

      Your wedding day is very special and should be what is the most meaningful to you and your FI. I know how easy it is to get caught up in the details. I was about to disown every family member and friend we had by the time the wedding date actually rolled around! Keep in mind that no matter how well things are planned out, there will be some hiccups. The important thing is that you are marrying the person you love and that friends and family will be there to celebrate with you. Everything will work out how it is supposed to.

      #4 BachataBride

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        Posted 12 January 2009 - 04:21 PM

        This may not be the right thing, but I would be tempted to tell them that just flying in for the wedding is not an option. Or like Mishi mentioned, just tell them that it is at this location, at this time. It is your responsibility to get there & pay to get there. And no...I would not organize an excursion to include the people just flying in. As far as I am concerned I would not really include them as my guests (not in every sense of the word!). I would tell your bridesmaids what you thought too - say you need their help prior to the wedding. Do you have other options for BMs?? I might be tempted to tell them if they couldn't do the cruise thing with you than you will have to find someone else, bc you need a full-time BM! (Maybe too harsh...??)

        #5 Banana11

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          Posted 12 January 2009 - 04:34 PM

          We had the same issue and what helped was explaining to them we'll only be at the resort in Jamaica for a few hours on our wedding day. With a cruise wedding you don't have much time to spend at the wedding location. Tell them you will be very preoccupied with getting married and it's already going to be quick enough, there won't be much time to see them. You were hoping they'd join you on the cruise so you can spend time celebrating. I told my guests I would hate to see them spend the money and fly to Jamaica and be dissapointed by how fast it all happens.

          #6 Prettyhazardous

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            Posted 12 January 2009 - 05:46 PM

            Everyone thanks for your ideas. We are actually setting aside $ in our budget to help the bridal party then since we aren't asking my parents for any $ we asked them to help our close family members. I think I'm going to put what Mishi and Andrea said on my website. But Amanda I def feel you lol. I have 3 close friends and thou I haven't really asked them too be in the wedding they already know they are in it. I'm waiting for people to book the cruise before I officially ask but maybe I need to do it the other way around. Thanks for all your help guys...

            #7 InspiredBride

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              Posted 21 January 2009 - 09:58 AM

              I'm kind of late getting in on this thread but...I can totally relate to the sudden desire to elope! I decided to do a cruise wedding because I thought it would be fun and easy, but I guess with any big event complications are bound to happen.

              I agree with what everyone else has said about making it clear that if guests are not cruising they will be responsible for all details. I think it's fair to encourage people to come on the cruise, and to explain that if they don't it is at their own risk. And I definitely don't think you should have to pay for uninvited guests.

              PLUS, the other thing I've been told about cruise weddings with ceremonies in port is that you always run the risk of not being able to dock, or of having the itinerary changed due to weather or other issues (this is rare but it has happened to me a couple of times). So maybe let your guests know about those risks too.

              #8 ~St.T Bride~

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                Posted 24 January 2009 - 01:26 PM

                I think the wisdom the other ladies gave is right on. Try not to stress about other people's issues. You are organizing a cruise wedding, end of story. I would be happy the other guests are coming & want to share in your special day, but they are going to have to be responsible for all additional expenses & planning because it falls outside of what you are organizing. And as for your excursion, just organize it at another port for the guests that are cruising with you (as a way to say thanks for following my plans )

                #9 Betsy


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                  Posted 24 January 2009 - 03:10 PM

                  I agree that if people aren't going on the cruise with you, you shouldn't have to pay for the transfers, etc. That is the whole point of you picking a CRUISE wedding - to have everyone together - not to have people coming and going - and frankly I think it could be so stressful for you with having people all over the place in St. Thomas - I like the idea of telling them the flight isn't an option - but I guess that might seem kind of bridezilla to some people too. I guess just make sure people know they are on their own if they don't do the cruise - Heck your wedding is in November? Maybe I will invite myself to help you out LOL! Good Luck - I hope it works out!

                  #10 Prettyhazardous

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                    Posted 27 January 2009 - 04:10 PM

                    Betsy I need you to come and be my mouthpiece lol. If anyone gets a chance can you check out my website the link in my siggy. I posted something on my welcome page ab it and them I actually blogged about it too. My gma read it and said it didn't sound rude at all. She said ppl will just look at it as me being considerate. So I'm no longer stressed about. Some ppl who were saying they were gonna fly in have actually booked. Now I'm just working on one of my bff who HAS to be a BM. She just got laid off so my FI and are tryna figure something out for her.

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