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Jamaica wedding blues

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#11 geology_rocks

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  • 215 posts

    Posted 12 January 2009 - 04:13 PM

    I think you're allowed to be a little selfish, it is your wedidng after all!

    If it makes you feel any better, I can come and fill a seat! I'd jump all over the chance to go back to Jamaica.

    One couple we are very good friends with didn't come to our wedding, i was a bit choked. But, another couple did come then made me feel guilty cause they had to spend so much money. I've BTDT, it sucks. In the end though, our wedding turned out great and having a small group made it easier to give out good OOT bags, spend time with each guest, organize etc.

    Good luck!

    #12 WAJA2009

    • Newbie
    • 60 posts

      Posted 12 January 2009 - 04:29 PM

      I like that way of thinking. Less guests does mean better favors and gifts, but please forgive me and my newbie self for this question....

      What does oot stand for (my guess is out of town)

      Thank you all ladies for the help and encouragement!

      #13 drbrainfreeze

      • Member
      • 813 posts

        Posted 12 January 2009 - 04:45 PM

        OOT=Out of Town

        #14 Mishi

        • Jr. Member
        • 224 posts
        • Wedding Date:April 20, 2007
        • Wedding Location:Dominican Republic
        • LocationVolcano, HI

        Posted 12 January 2009 - 04:47 PM

        It's easy to say because we aren't there now but it will be fine in the end. We only invited 18 people because we paid for everything except their airplane tickets, which were between 400-600. His whole side of the family (who all have money) came no problem. My Mom, Brother, Aunt, 2 Uncles, Two Cousins (one 15 who was my maid of honor, like my sister) and 2 best friends were invited. With one month to go... none of them had gotten passports or airline tickets. I ended up paying for one of my Uncles who reimbursed me, paid for my Brothers (who was 21) since he was giving me away, paid for my cousins/MOH since she was 15 and my MOH and paid for one of my best friends since she already had her passport. That was all I had at my wedding. They had 2 years to save 400 dollars and didn't do it. When I tell you I was stressed... I am not a drinker and I literally spent three nights a week drinking myself into oblivion because I was so stressed. And my then FI and I were arguing because I wanted to break down and pay for everyone and he didn't. Don't let them stress you out.

        In the end it was their loss and honestly it ended up being great because with a small group of only 12 we had a blast! I wish they had been there and even feel bad when those of us that were there talk about the stories but as long as you and your soon to be hubbies are there, that's all that matters!

        #15 sarah.cullen

        • Newbie
        • 90 posts

          Posted 12 January 2009 - 05:13 PM

          Hi yes the same happened to us, our parents were right against us going to Jamaica in the first place, they even said "Why don't you get married in cyprus, so everybody can go" but we thought to ourselves its our day & we'll get married when we want. Then Johnny's brothers & sisters were all "Oh we're there" then pulled out due to the financial troubles. At the end of the day, we're the only ones who matter & I can't wait to marry my love & my best friend. Plus, we're not alone, our friends Kitty_katuk who we met by accident have kindly agreed to be our witnesses.... so at the end of the day we're going to have a fab wedding day!!!!! That's the right attitude to take isn't it??

          #16 WAJA2009

          • Newbie
          • 60 posts

            Posted 12 January 2009 - 06:21 PM

            lol at "Oh we're there!" I can't tell you how many times I've heard that phrase.

            I know I'll get over the hurt, but right now its so stressful. I would never be this flaky for my friends and fam.

            #17 sarah.cullen

            • Newbie
            • 90 posts

              Posted 12 January 2009 - 06:36 PM

              Just remember its their loss, I can just imagine what colour our families are going to be when we show them our gorgeous pics, shade of green maybe?!?

              Keep your chin up hon x x

              #18 RORJamaica Bride 050809

              RORJamaica Bride 050809
              • Newbie
              • 69 posts

                Posted 13 January 2009 - 02:54 PM

                I can totally sympathize! Except it is some of the important guests that are not going to be there for our wedding. We gave everyone 2 1/2 years to save, and the grooms father didn't save a penny. We offered to pay for his passport. And our plan was to take whatever he saved and supplement it with our own money so he could go and he could pay us back. But his lack of motivation to save has brought us to the point of not helping him at all. We should not have to pay for our parents to attend our wedding!!! His brother also a groomsmen has backed out. He has recently been laid off, but in the mean time has gotten a huge tattoo, and some sort of jewelry on his teeth!! His mom has paid $300 toward trip but has yet to book a flight, and we leave in less than 4 months. We initially started with 60 people attending the wedding in Jamaica and are down to 40. Which 40 is way more than I ever expected. But my maid of honor still hasn't booked a flight, but her parents are going so I am sure they will pay for whatever she can't. I just wish people could take a little more responsibility!

                Not only is his family not coming, which i have expressed my extreme disappointment to them, they haven't offered to help with anything! no money no nothing! They better give us a big wedding present, sorry that is a little selfish on my end, but come on! We have told them so many times, no presents just come to the wedding!

                #19 WAJA2009

                • Newbie
                • 60 posts

                  Posted 13 January 2009 - 04:24 PM

                  I am so sorry to read that! You would think that if you give people ample time to save, they would have no problems coming to your DW. 21/2 years is Waaaay more than enough time to save for a DW wedding. Its so sad to know that the most important people, especially parents and siblings, can deem your wedding uneccessary and not a big deal to attend. I mean, are we missing something?

                  All we can do is enjoy it in the best way. One thing is for sure, you and your future hubby will be there, and you will have eachother to share your beautiful day. It is all about the two of you anyway. It's just so shameful how some people can be.

                  I have a friend who swears she can't afford it yet, she's been all over the world in the past year. She's been to about 4 different countries in 2008 alone. Somehow, Jamaica is just too expensive, but South Africa is not? Ha!

                  Oh and I can't tell how many people say, "Oh if only you had chosen Turks and Caicos..." What does that mean? If I did choose another island, your so-called "broke" butt would miraculously come up with the money to attend?

                  People are FULL of it.

                  Thank goodness for this forum. I'd have nowhere else to vent (well, aside from at home with the FI).

                  #20 YoursTruly

                  • Sr. Member
                  • 1,097 posts

                    Posted 13 January 2009 - 04:52 PM

                    Dang sounds like we were the only ones that paid for uour guests day pass. We thought it would be rude to invite them and ask them to pay for their own....at least that was the general concensus on BDW (lol).

                    you are not alone in your struggle at all--we have all gone through the same shyt!!!

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