is anyone not having an AHR???

[silverangel]

We aren't having one either...I had originally wanted to, but all the most important people (mainly family) will be there so we figured there's no point.

Nor did we have an engagement party or shower...

But we are both happy with our decision

[sjmacphe]

Hey Guys...It's a little early for me to decide on an AHR, but it's also complicated because my fiance and I are going to med school in one city and all of families and other friends are at home. We both have quite a few friends in our programs, but we don't plan to invite everyone to our wedding - I was thinking of having a pre-wedding 'send off' party (just due to the timing - a lot of our friends will be leaving the area right around the time of our wedding, no time to have one after the wedding). Do you think that sounds reasonable (has anyone done this?)? Not sure if people would bring gifts??

I am also hoping to have a party back home for our extended families and our family friends etc - I am not sure how it works, but I am sore of assuming if we invite people to these it might be an opportunity to give us a gift (if they want to) - ie for aunts/uncles who aren't coming to the wedding...We thought this would prob offset the cost of whatever money we have to put into it. I guess I am just looking for some guidance, has anyone done something similar to this for there AHR/parties and how does it work with people giving gifts to you and did that help you pay for it?

[nibsmom]

I'm on the fence about an AHR...we're kind of in the same boat as some of you - we invited everyone to the wedding - and we only invited important people - so we sent out around 70 invites. Only 20 people are going - so if we had an AHR, it would probably be around 150 people with families and what not.

 

Matt had envisioned the AHR costing around 1000 dollars, which I quickly realized wouldn't be the case with that many people. We are now considering not doing anything at all or just doing a BBQ.

 

Our issue is that I'm from MA and he's from IL - so we have to have 2 AHRs...and with vacation time and work and everything...it's just going to be a real crunch if we decide to do it. Ugh.

[Duchess]

NOPE, if the people couldnt make it to Mexico, oh well. I guess in my situtaion, alot of people didn't come but really could have. Some are family members who didnt even send a gift or a card. So why would I spend more to accomodate them? I did realize who my real friends were, though. And most of them were in Mexico.

[krazyk]

No we're not doing one either. Hate to sound bitchy about it, but I just don't feel like accomadating people just because they aren't coming. The purpose in having a DW was to save money. The important people will be in Mexico and that's all that matters to us.

[~*Lisa*~]

Wow, I'm really glad I fell upon this thread.

 

I've been on the fence about the whole AHR thing. Now that I've seen that I'm not the only one not really wanting an AHR, I don't feel so bad. Basically the only reason we're considering having one is because FI's dad and his family are not invited to Jamaica so we figured if we had a party back home, they wouldn't feel left out. But really, who cares right? We don't even know where we'll be living if FI passes his testing to be a police officer.

 

I think maybe you ladies have changed my mind...lol

[tdmitchell]

We aren't having one! We are fine about the decision, but others want us to have one. Its NOT about what others want, so we are sticking to the decision. We decided on a DW in part because of the cost, so having an AHR would defeat the purpose.

[tdmitchell]

We aren't having one! We are fine about the decision, but others want us to have one. Its NOT about what others want, so we are sticking to the decision. We decided on a DW in part because of the cost, so having an AHR would defeat the purpose.

[Starryt]

We aren't having one. Decided to have the destination wedding in order to keep it simple and small. I'm going to post my video and pics on our website when we return.

Thought about the family and friends that probably feel left out... but I decided not to beat myself up about it. SIMPLE & SMALL is what we wanted. No stress.

Nothing to expensive.

[BirminghamBride2010]

We are not having one. We will probably have a BBQ and have people over. For most, it will be the first time they have seen our new home...decorated:-)Plus we can be in a more casual setting, have drinks, and look at pictures of the wedding