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Annoyed with Negativity


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#11 SoonToBeE

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    Posted 08 January 2009 - 01:11 PM

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by missdanelle
    Jen you are definately not alone! Its so easy to get discouraged when all you hear are negative responses from people; especially coming from the ones that you love the most. I dont know why poeple insist on making everything about them is so annoying. Ive come to the point that whenever someone says something negative about our DW i just tell them "this is what we decided to do for OUR wedding". Im sorry that you are having to deal with this as well..
    Thanks D : ) We have started saying that too. Feels so good to get past feeling guilty to get to being happy (even though sometimes I come back to being fruistrated). I'm wondering if people's feelings will rise up again before the day, or whether people will have come to terms with it by then...?

    Also....I'm so excited about your invites! I'm working on finishing touches with the designs tonight and tomorrow night and I'll have 5-7 ready to send to you to evaluate. Whee!

    #12 Jess

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      Posted 08 January 2009 - 01:19 PM

      I totally understand where you are coming from. My extended family is calling me rude all the time for expecting them to pay to come to a DW - and calling my parents cheap for not paying for all the extended family's flights and hotels. I know how frustrating it is but it still sucks

      I just tell people that if they don't want to come then don't - I don't need their complaining. I know it is harsh but the negativity is not something I want at my wedding.

      Good luck!

      #13 missdanelle

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        Posted 08 January 2009 - 01:31 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by SoonToBeE
        Thanks D : ) We have started saying that too. Feels so good to get past feeling guilty to get to being happy (even though sometimes I come back to being fruistrated). I'm wondering if people's feelings will rise up again before the day, or whether people will have come to terms with it by then...?

        Also....I'm so excited about your invites! I'm working on finishing touches with the designs tonight and tomorrow night and I'll have 5-7 ready to send to you to evaluate. Whee!
        YAY! I'm super excited! i know what your saying about going back to fealing frustrated! Unfortunately I have to stay away from certain people these days in order to keep my sanity! I seriously cant believe that people are calling you rude ect. Im sure people are saying that about me as well but atleast not to my face...so far!
        If they make it they make it and hopefully will have a wonderful time! Who wants negative people sitting next to them on the beach with a margarita anyway~

        #14 Jenn79

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          Posted 08 January 2009 - 02:08 PM

          It's unfortunately par for the course. My grandfather's response was my favourite. He told my father (his son) that he should talk some sense into me, make me have a "normal" wedding. I just rolled my eyes and tried not to laugh. As harsh as it sounds, my grandfather wasn't invited (he's loud, rude, and racist, so not exactly good to have around), so his opinion meant very little to me.

          It's funny how your wedding becomes all about "them", how much money "they" have to spend or the vacation time "they" have to take. They really don't have to do anything, it's an invitation, a request, not a demand.

          I know it's hard to take the negativity, but it will all be worth it in the end. Don't feel like you can't have a good cry, because in all honesty, it helps so much to cry it all out in one big gulp and then move on.

          Hope the rest of your planning goes as smoothly as these things can!
          Jenn & Timm, May 10, 2007
          Review Pictures Pro Pictures
          "i write to be read" Fiction by Timm Holmes

          #15 Duchess

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            Posted 08 January 2009 - 02:10 PM

            I love that people feel entitled to see you get married, when they dont feel that a couple should have the choice of paying $40K for a wedding. That is what my wedding at home would have cost. It was WAY more per head this way, but much less in total because of the reduced guest count. I would never personally spend that, it this was my dream.

            Some families get upset. My immediate family was thrilled and proud that I chose something that wasnt $40K. My mom said she did a good job teaching me the value of a dollar! DH family on the other hand, had some problems with it. They didnt say anything, but several couldnt make it. But you know what, I didnt want to get married in a VFW hall (no offense to those who do, but its not me) and I didnt want to cut corners, which I would have had to do, and I didnt want to spend big bucks.

            Oh, and I always dreamed of the wedding I got. So to quote a previous lady, *F* it.

            #16 Hartyt509

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              Posted 08 January 2009 - 05:27 PM

              Yeah I've had it lol I got "well I won't be going" and then a snort off a cousin lol my response was " you weren't invited I was just telling you what i'm doing" lmao they all went v quiet and FI said he wanted to strangle me lol

              I learnt a long time ago the only person you can rely on is yourself and people are always opinionated and think they can "make you see sense" lol I keep saying look shut it i'm 36 not 6 you've not had a say in my life so far so now back right off lmao

              I'm lucky dad said do what you want to do screw everyone else so I am lol only bummer is I had to invite FMIL!! lol

              #17 Jacilynda

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                Posted 08 January 2009 - 07:18 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by SoonToBeE
                Thanks D : ) We have started saying that too. Feels so good to get past feeling guilty to get to being happy (even though sometimes I come back to being fruistrated). I'm wondering if people's feelings will rise up again before the day, or whether people will have come to terms with it by then...?

                Also....I'm so excited about your invites! I'm working on finishing touches with the designs tonight and tomorrow night and I'll have 5-7 ready to send to you to evaluate. Whee!
                Alot of the girls, including myself, are legally married before they go. It's less expensive, if your state doesn't require blood tests then you don't have those, and some girls are STILL waiting for their marriage license to be translated. It's quite normal to do a legal wedding in the states, whether you do it before or after is up to you!

                #18 sunsetbride1

                sunsetbride1
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                  Posted 09 January 2009 - 03:11 PM

                  All I can add is that I agree with what everyone else is sayng! You are not alone with the responses you were getting.
                  Heck, my sister took it personally and thought that I planned a DW just to exclude her and show everyone that she doesn't have as much $$ as I do so she can't go.

                  So, hang in there and finish planning YOUR dream wedding!!!!

                  #19 NJ_bride

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                    Posted 09 January 2009 - 04:14 PM

                    Hi! I had all the same dramas with people, too much to type (see my other posts). Now that my wedding is all over with I can give you a clear prospective. Once you get there you will be happy with people that came an honestly won't give the ones who didn't and their negativity a second thought. Those people's priority in my life just dropped big time. Especially the ones like my Aunt's who called me selfish for having a DW and "excluding" the family (even though I invited everyone, over 200 invited) From the friends who didn't come I'm getting a lot of the "I wish I came" crap cause they see the pics and heard what an awesome time we all had. Others have avoided the topic of my wedding all together as if we don't talk about it, it didn't happen! LOL! I regret spending so much of the last year miserable about others attitudes about the wedding. I know it's hard but throw yourself into planning and surround yourself with supportive, happy people. Lots of luck.

                    #20 Duchess

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                      Posted 10 January 2009 - 07:30 AM

                      God people can be so crappy! I didnt get a lot of people angry at me, but I think having a DW made people who just couldnt go feel bad. My best friend got preggers on her honeymoon about 5 months after we had set the date and everything, so she was about 7 months pregnant for the wedding and couldnt go. I felt bad that she wouldnt be there but what could I do?

                      I could tell that people were a little resentful in DHs family, but thankfully they didnt feel the need to tell us.

                      I know this sounds cold, but I just dont care what they want. They all got their dream weddings, or at least had the opportunity to do what they wanted. I am 32 years old and G dammit I waited a long time for this dream to come true!!!

                      And now that I had my awesome but small wedding, I wouldnt have changed it for the world. Be strong DW Brides! Its worth it!!!




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