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The Exclusion Speech--from your parents


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#1 mimosa123

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    Posted 07 January 2009 - 04:45 PM

    Has anyone had to convince their parents that a Destination wedding was the way to go and that the Domincan was Heavenly and reasonable?

    I'm tired of hearing my mom protest because people will be excluded.. I can't take it anymore!

    #2 YoursTruly

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      Posted 07 January 2009 - 04:51 PM

      I think I speak for a TON of girls that have had and are still having this conversation with your parents. I can only say you have to make sure this is what you and FI wants and stick to your guns! If your parents are footing the bill, then in that case you may want to reconsider. Best of Luck with everything.

      #3 Ayita

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        Posted 07 January 2009 - 04:58 PM

        Sometimes parents have their own idea of how your wedding should or should not be... You can try and convince her but - I know that if it was my mom there would be no way I would succeed. I stopped trying a long time ago on a lot of subjects (happily she's not against the destination wedding). When we disagree I just respectfully explain to her that this is MY way of doing things, MY way of thinking, MY taste, MY body :), and that she might have different views but that they are hers - not mine.

        Even more here, it's YOUR day, you decided of the DW with your FI and this is the only thing that should be important. That you're happy and have the day of your dreams. Try to go that way... and good luck with the convincing

        #4 mimosa123

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          Posted 07 January 2009 - 04:58 PM

          They aren't footing the bill which is why we have to do it that way. DC is an expensive place to have a wedding.

          #5 *Heather*

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            Posted 07 January 2009 - 05:00 PM

            I had to have the "convincing" talk with my parents for the first few weeks. Luckily they came around once they realized we weren't changing our minds, and that the lack of support was making us sad!

            #6 Erika J

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              Posted 07 January 2009 - 05:05 PM

              My parents were not thrilled in the beggining but once i put the deposit down and the realized that my mind was made up and there was no turning back, the all came around (incl my FI's parents).

              Not only did they get on board with the idea but now everyone is really excited.

              However it did take my mom about 3 months, I eventually just started planning everything with out her input as it was totally negative and manipulative. Now I think after she felt excluded she is trying to be involved and curbing her negativeness. So I guess she just needed more time.

              #7 mimosa123

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                Posted 07 January 2009 - 05:09 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Ayita
                Sometimes parents have their own idea of how your wedding should or should not be... You can try and convince her but - I know that if it was my mom there would be no way I would succeed. I stopped trying a long time ago on a lot of subjects (happily she's not against the destination wedding). When we disagree I just respectfully explain to her that this is MY way of doing things, MY way of thinking, MY taste, MY body :), and that she might have different views but that they are hers - not mine.

                Even more here, it's YOUR day, you decided of the DW with your FI and this is the only thing that should be important. That you're happy and have the day of your dreams. Try to go that way... and good luck with the convincing
                I always try to be respectful but I don't think my mom has a clue because my sister got married in 1999 and the costs were significantly different. I guess i just need to sit her down and show her the differences.. thanks

                #8 mimosa123

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                  Posted 07 January 2009 - 05:10 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by *Heather*
                  I had to have the "convincing" talk with my parents for the first few weeks. Luckily they came around once they realized we weren't changing our minds, and that the lack of support was making us sad!
                  My FI sounds like he's having second thoughts. That's why Ive spent the last two days on here gathering as much info as possible so that we can stay on the right track. Oh and he was trying to pick a place that didnt require a passport to "make it easier on our guests"

                  #9 mimosa123

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                    Posted 07 January 2009 - 05:11 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by Erika J
                    My parents were not thrilled in the beggining but once i put the deposit down and the realized that my mind was made up and there was no turning back, the all came around (incl my FI's parents).

                    Not only did they get on board with the idea but now everyone is really excited.

                    However it did take my mom about 3 months, I eventually just started planning everything with out her input as it was totally negative and manipulative. Now I think after she felt excluded she is trying to be involved and curbing her negativeness. So I guess she just needed more time.
                    Good thinking.. i'm taking notes from all you DW pros!

                    #10 DanielleNDerek

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                      Posted 07 January 2009 - 05:38 PM

                      I would sit down and have a long talk. I think it helps if you can show them pics of other girls weddings on here. Some of the pics are so gorgeous its hard to argue with them. And if you have info on how much a wedding costs near you definately throw that info at them, the cost of a local wedding in NJ is crazy i'm sure DC is too. my wedding was in the DR was at least 1/3 cheaper. And make sure you let them know it's your wedding day and its really the wedding that you dreamed of and you want to remember how happy you were on your wedding day. Goodluck!
                      ***Married November 6, 2008***Gavin Born February 28th, 2010***
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