Wow, I so agree with this. I was making out the formal address list for the calligraphers, and we don't have ONE couple that goes by the old-school "Mr. and Mrs. Frank Jones", which is good because it feels so wrong to me.
I understand the romanticism of taking his name but do not like the connotation. With us, we don't have middle names, so we are BOTH taking each others' as a new middle: I become Ms.Eli Jones Smith and he becomes Mr. Michael Smith Jones. Lets us keep all our paperwork and professional stuff the same and still mark the commitment we made.
His last name is really rare and he is one of the last males, so he REALLY wants the kids to have his name....but it's one of those names that will get a kid teased horribly at school - so I am a little confused about that.
Originally Posted by weddingaway
I have always been very independent. In fact, up until months ago, I had never really wanted to get married. So, logically, I have never wanted to change my name.
But then I actually read up on the history of it. WOW! I know that I will sound like a hyper-feminist, but learning the history definitely solidified my stance.
A groom paid the father of the bride to marry her, essentially "buying" her, and, yes, she was considered to be property. That's why women had no rights back then, because they were only property. And she took his name so that everyone knew who she "belonged" to. I could describe more but it would only be depressing.
I am all for unity and family, but I just don't understand why anyone wants to honor a tradition like that. Maybe you could start a new tradition where he takes your name? Or you both just pick a new name? j/k