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Bridesmaid's just don't understand!!! LONG....just venting


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#11 NABUMBAH

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    Posted 13 April 2007 - 12:31 PM

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Nini_Bride
    Ya, but if she changes her mind then she can flip for the new dresses. At this point these dresses are on sale and won't be available in a year. Where is their loss? They are paying less and if she changes her mind then they get two dresses for the price of one! lol.
    Selling BM dresses is not easy. If J Crew has the same return policy that BR does then you're in the clear because they accept returns forever as long as you have tags & receipt. If they lose money, even if it's $69, that is annoying. Being a bridesmaid is expensive. That's why I recommend buying the dresses for them and letting them pay later on.

    It's not an issue of loss. It's just that I would also be hesitant to buy a BM dress before an official date has been announced.

    #12 DreaW

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      Posted 13 April 2007 - 12:33 PM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by SPRINGBRIDE
      I ordered my bridesmaid's dresses on J.Crew sale as well. I had to guess at two of the girls sizes because the prices were so good I didn't want to miss out. I went a size bigger than what I thought they were and when the dresses came they were too big but they paid $15-20 or so to have them altered slightly. So, if these are the dresses you really want then that's always an option.
      Yup this is what I'm thinking....I told them if they want to try on dresses to try on the dress that fits them now and either get a size bigger than that or loose weight in a year LOL

      #13 DreaW

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        Posted 13 April 2007 - 12:37 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by NABUMBAH
        Selling BM dresses is not easy. If J Crew has the same return policy that BR does then you're in the clear because they accept returns forever as long as you have tags & receipt. If they lose money, even if it's $69, that is annoying. Being a bridesmaid is expensive. That's why I recommend buying the dresses for them and letting them pay later on.

        It's not an issue of loss. It's just that I would also be hesitant to buy a BM dress before an official date has been announced.
        We are going to Cabo this July to save the date.

        JCrew lets you return the dress anytime with tags on.....so I understand that, I also told them that I would pay for their dresses now and they pay me back...I'm doing that for Renee (little sis) and Shelly (opera friend), my other sister (Cynthia) is purchasing it on her own and Vanessa did too (they didn't think $69 was a lot.)....

        They want to see how dress looks on them....and they all chose that dress when I gave them a list of dresses to choose from.

        #14 NABUMBAH

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          Posted 13 April 2007 - 12:45 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by DREA14369
          We are going to Cabo this July to save the date.

          JCrew lets you return the dress anytime with tags on.....so I understand that, I also told them that I would pay for their dresses now and they pay me back...I'm doing that for Renee (little sis) and Shelly (opera friend), my other sister (Cynthia) is purchasing it on her own and Vanessa did too (they didn't think $69 was a lot.)....

          They want to see how dress looks on them....and they all chose that dress when I gave them a list of dresses to choose from.
          that's at least good. I am just sayin' I can see why they may hesitate ... especially if you have cancelled once already. I went through the same thing because we cancelled ours before finally making a decision.

          #15 MikkiStreak

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            Posted 13 April 2007 - 12:59 PM

            I agree that if you're willing to purchase them now, to just go ahead and then order 1 size bigger and let them alter later. I think Natasha has a good idea too about you buying them and just hanging on to them until the BM's think things are a little more set in stone.

            I think you're being generous and it sounds like you've been accommodating as much as possible for them, so I agree to a certain extent that they are kind of being a pain about it.

            I gotta say tho after reading so many MOH/BM stories---- when ladies agree to be in a wedding party, do they think there isn't anything they are going to have to do for it In most of the ones I've read, it's like they want to behave like little kids---- mommie does the shopping, mommie picks everything out, mommie tells them when/what to do---- are we really this clueless when it comes to being in someone's wedding

            I'm lucky so far--- my sister bends over backwards for me about the wedding---- always tells me my favorite thing to hear: "Whatever you want is fine with me." :) Same with my best friend who is a BM---- she's flying down next weekend just to attend a bridal show with me and we'll probably go look at dresses for her just because the area she lives in sucks for bridal shops. Now, my daughter will probably be the PITA just because she's demanding and opinionated like I am----

            #16 ~Melissa~

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            Posted 13 April 2007 - 01:28 PM

            Hi Andrea; what if they just take a tape measure and take their measurements? I'm sure Jcrew has a sizing chart online. That way if they are too lazy to go try it on they don't have to.

            I ended up buying my girls their dresses to avoid this BS. I got them all at the same time to avoid the hassle of turning into a timely process. Just have 1 that we need to alter for my cousin and my grandma said it would be easy. If the Jcrew dresses are on sale right now I think you should act fast if they don't. Buy their dresses for them and if they really want to buy it themselves have them pay you back.

            I hope it all works out... you must be stressed. I know I would be.

            #17 DreaW

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              Posted 13 April 2007 - 01:42 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by mgreen
              Hi Andrea; what if they just take a tape measure and take their measurements? I'm sure Jcrew has a sizing chart online. That way if they are too lazy to go try it on they don't have to.

              I ended up buying my girls their dresses to avoid this BS. I got them all at the same time to avoid the hassle of turning into a timely process. Just have 1 that we need to alter for my cousin and my grandma said it would be easy. If the Jcrew dresses are on sale right now I think you should act fast if they don't. Buy their dresses for them and if they really want to buy it themselves have them pay you back.

              I hope it all works out... you must be stressed. I know I would be.
              hi Melissa,
              Not that stressed out...I know there are other dresses out there and I have a year, but I REALLY LIKE THIS DRESS and it's only $69 dollars.

              I asked them for their measurements but do you think they would give it to me? NOPE. Like I said earlier it's just 3 out of the 4 who are all pains in the arse.

              With regards to the dresses on Sale and acting out now....that's why I called them all yesterday after work and told them that they have to go this weekend if they wanted to try on the dress. or I would just get a size for them.
              I'm going to call them(Cynthia & Shelly) at my lunch time (12:52) and see if they went to the mall yet....I know that Renee will go tomorrow because I'm picking her up and taking her myself.

              #18 Christine

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              Posted 13 April 2007 - 01:52 PM

              Andrea-I have the same issues with my girlfriends as well, although I am three months away and 4 of the 6 have yet to buy the dress.
              I originally bought the dress you are looking at online at JCrew for my girls and had to return it due to a change of venue, so I understand what Tasha is saying, I think that is why its hard to plan for far out because plans change, but if the price is right and they can use the dress again I am sure it will all work out.
              Also keep in mind that while our current lives revolve around our weddings-theirs don't, I have had to really cut back wedding talk with my BM's because I realized that I had only been talking to them about wedding stuff and missed out on their important life events, so understand that they probably just want you to be aware of their lives and considerate of their schedules.
              Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!

              #19 DreaW

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                Posted 13 April 2007 - 01:58 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Christine
                Andrea-I have the same issues with my girlfriends as well, although I am three months away and 4 of the 6 have yet to buy the dress.
                I originally bought the dress you are looking at online at JCrew for my girls and had to return it due to a change of venue, so I understand what Tasha is saying, I think that is why its hard to plan for far out because plans change, but if the price is right and they can use the dress again I am sure it will all work out.
                Also keep in mind that while our current lives revolve around our weddings-theirs don't, I have had to really cut back wedding talk with my BM's because I realized that I had only been talking to them about wedding stuff and missed out on their important life events, so understand that they probably just want you to be aware of their lives and considerate of their schedules.
                Hi christine,
                I totally understand that they have their lives other than my wedding....I haven't really talked to them about the wedding....everytime I think I will I just mention something really quickly and then go on to talk about something else....So they know.....I'm not even allowed to talk about the wedding to Erik until July when we go to Cabo. LOL

                This week is the only time I really freaked out about the dress....

                #20 starchild

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                  Posted 13 April 2007 - 04:44 PM

                  Drea I feel your pain. I've had to realize that nobody is ever into your wedding as much as you are. They care, they want to "be there" but they aren't really because it isn't theirs. None of my bms are married and I think if they ever planned a wedding that they would be on more top of things. If I'm ever in a wedding after this I know I will be just from seeing how everyone's lagging really adds stress! Buying the dress now when it's on sale makes total sense to me . . . my bm's lagged so much I had to pick a new fast-ship dress so don't worry about their feelings and get the dress you want. One day we'll laugh about this stuff....one day :o)




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