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prairiegirl

Just give us cash....

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Yikes... this is a sticky one.. My FI and I are in our mid 30's it is our first wedding for both of us. We have been living together for 3 years and have all the household stuff.

 

Since planning our DW we decided to not sign up for a gift registray, since it kinda feels like, my FI and I go to a store and go on a shopping spree of a bunch of useless stuff that are 'nice to haves' but not really needed...

 

I have been asked a couple times , what do you need.. but how do you say.. 'cash to help pay for the wedding and the AHR' as we are paying for all our costs our selves...

 

SO to date, I have told people, get us whatever you like.. the choice is yours...

 

anyone else facing this issue... ?? kinda funny.. in a way.. but I don't want people to think we are being greedy...

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I think this situation is definitely a funny one. My FI and I have had our own places for the past few years, so like you we have everything we need when it comes to cooking, cleaning, bedding, etc... Of course, there are things that we have had since college and could use some upgrading, but we are in the process of buying a house, so cash is the item we need the most.

 

You would think that everyone who has been married or even been on their own would just realize how much money is needed for this time in your life, but for some reason I guess folks just want to have a gift to wrap and hand over instead of an envelope.

 

We have not registered yet, but plan to for a few things. We have not figured out yet how to let people know we need money more than anything. I know it seems rude and greedy, which is why it is so funny to me...because honestly that is all we need!!

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I don't think there is any way to really get around the issue. tating it simply and in the appreciative tone to let your guests know that gifts are not mandatory, however, should they choose to be so generousmonetary gifts would be most appreciated for the bride and groom.

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This is so sticky....If I was in this situation I wouldn't register anywhere and hopefully my friends would get the message out that we are saving for a house, etc. and monetary gifts would be best. I wouldn't tell anyone that we wanted money myself though. That is just my opinion. =)

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I think we are going to register only for the purpose of the bridal shower. We're telling all of the wedding guests that gifts are not necessary, and there won't be enough on the registry for everyone to buy something anyway (we pretty much have everything so we might just register for new dishes and glasses and some towels), so hopefully anyone who feels like giving a gift for the wedding will give cash. Fingers crossed! I don't think there's really a polite way to say that you want cash. If anything, just spread the word to your parents/wedding party so that if anyone asks them, they can suggest cash as a good gift for you.

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Close friends and family I can say.. cash please... however my FI family and friends.. I'll let him pass along that info...

 

we have not registered anywhere, and hope people will figure it our.. they are smart people... I hope ...lol

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Have you considered doing the "Honeymoon Registry"? That way, people can buy you a leg of your flight or a boat ride or whatever, but essentially they are just putting cash into your account (paypal acct or whatever). You can really use the money for whatever you want - although they might ask for pics of your boat ride :) Or you could use their money for the HM and then you could save your money for your house.

 

You can also set up a registry just like a HM one, but customize it. For example, you can do a "New Home Registry" and people can buy you "kitchen cabinet knobs" or "paint for the living room". It works the same way - they just give you the cash and you buy the knobs or paint.

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Someone has suggested this before in a similar thread...You can register at a place like Bed Bath & Beyond that gives cash for all returns from your registry. Kind of sneaky, but it could help solve your problem.

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I'm with all of you gals....cash would make a better gift than any more household items, especially after combining two households. (We moved in together this past summer, and FI doesn't want to give up any of his stuff, so now we have double sets of everything...ha! I guess I'll have to slowly get rid of it)

 

But.....I was reminded by two of my friends that if you don't register, people will buy you things you don't want or things they think you should have instead of giving you cash. At least if you register for some things, you'll get something you kind of want or need instead of random gifts.

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My girlfriends and I just talked about this the other day. They were asking me where I was going to register and I said that I hadn't decided yet. They both told me that when they got married, they wish they would have gotten cash. I said me too. They suggested that I register for some stuff for my bridal showers, but offered to spread the word that cash was the best wedding gift. When asked what they are getting us as a gift, they plan to say "when we got married we didn't really need any stuff, we needed $$, so that is what we plan to give them. I think Bill and Deanna are in the same situation." We'll see how well that works!

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