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What do you think about guests bringing random guests?


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#41 lauraandmatt

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    Posted 19 January 2009 - 03:30 PM

    I am so glad that I came across this board. As of today, I now have to address this situation. My FI and I decided to have an April wedding about two months ago. We wanted to elope, but decided to invite only immediate/close family to the wedding. We may have a AHR when we return. We invited 10 couples, and now his two sets of parents want to invite their friends to the wedding too. Since we are having a small wedding, I don't want these extra guests to come. If we allow the parents to bring one set of friends, then they will push it an invite a few extra friends. We are paying for our wedding and I have never met these people in 5 years! I don't want to be rude, but I think that if they bring extra guests, they won't mingle with my family. My FI could care less who attends! Is it rude for me to say that those guests can vacation with them, however, they have to make other plans for our event prior to the wedding and the wedding ceremony/reception? I don't want to sound crazy, but I have to put my food down and say NO. How have you guys dealt with this? His two sets of parents have not met mine since they live in different states. any advice would help.. thanks

    #42 Rhonda

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      Posted 27 January 2009 - 05:23 PM

      Ok, so, i think I might be a really bad person or maybe I just had a bridezilla moment yesterday. My coworker who I wrote about earlier, told me yesterday that she is definitely coming to the wedding and bringing her friend. It turns out the friend is her yoga teacher (I didn't even know they were close). For some reason, it just completely set me off and I blurted out that I needed to be honest...it DID bother me that she was bringing this person...I told her that we are trying to have a small wedding (relatively speaking) and that we want only those who love us, care about us and want to be there for us. I told her no one else is bringing people who were not invited (We invited her with her boyfriend, NOT, a "guest") I told her if she really wanted to come, she could stay with one of my other friends who needs a roomate.
      After saying all that, I felt awful and I apologized. She was very understanding about it. But, I still feel bad for telling her she can't bring her friend. But, at the same time, I feel a bit relieved that I got it off my chest.
      My FI is very happy that I said something..he did not approve of her bringing her uninvited friend.
      I don't know what to think....Am I really mean

      #43 Mel&B

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        Posted 27 January 2009 - 06:08 PM

        I'm also in the minority here, but I would never invite a single friend without giving him/her the option to bring a guest. I think it's RUDE to ask a friend to travel thousands of miles and pay thousands of dollars without letting them bring a guest & travel companion. Most of my single friends did opt to come alone and room together, but they definitely have the option to bring someone.

        Cindy, your situation with the villa is differnet.

        #44 Hartyt509

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          Posted 27 January 2009 - 06:09 PM

          No you aren't. I'm in the same position with a friend who is so fragile at the min if I go of on one it might be the last straw!! FI said just let her come we'll hardly see her but it still pisses me off that I have to bloody well pay for a stranger lol

          #45 WindyCityGirl

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            Posted 27 January 2009 - 06:34 PM

            Ok-- don't hate me but I went to a DW this fall as the "date" of one of my girlfriends. At 1st I felt very uncomfortable intruding on a wedding where I did not know the bride or groom and I addressed these concerns with my friend. She talked w/the bride & was told to bring me along (I even made her offer to the bride that I would be fine on my own for the "wedding activities" but the bride insisted that I attend).

            They had a wedding of about 50 people and just like other poster have said most of the time my friend and I were on our own. We went to the welcome dinner and the wedding but that was it-- there was a lot of downtime without events. My friend would've been miserable by herself & we had a great time during the off-time.

            I also must say that it was the most outstanding wedding I've ever been to and completely the inspiration for my own DW. I think that a lot of times we may think that we are going to have more people in attendance at a DW when in reality there are going to be a lot less & personally I believe that the more the merrier. I will welcome any guest of ours who wants to bring someone we don't know and embrace them as if they are friends.

            That's my 2-cents for what it's worth.

            #46 Hartyt509

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              Posted 27 January 2009 - 07:02 PM

              I honestly think it depends on the size of the wedding. There are only 6 at ours and one of them is the stranger!! lol There is no way you can get lost in that low number lol. If it was 20 or 30 wouldn't be a problem but I do have a problem when there are only 6 and they are all family or like family except 1 we have never met lol

              #47 Rhonda

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                Posted 27 January 2009 - 07:50 PM

                Ok, now, I kinda feel bad. But, to be honest, I think the real issue in my situation is that I'm not really sure that I want the girl I invited to come to the wedding (not the guest!) The reason is just that I don't feel very close to her anymore and now I can't even believe she wants to come to my wedding (granted, I did invite her). My FI thinks she's just taking advantage of the situation (not sure if that's true). Anyway, I know it sounds awful! I feel so mean even writing this!

                #48 Hartyt509

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                  Posted 27 January 2009 - 07:57 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by Rhonda
                  Ok, now, I kinda feel bad. But, to be honest, I think the real issue in my situation is that I'm not really sure that I want the girl I invited to come to the wedding (not the guest!) The reason is just that I don't feel very close to her anymore and now I can't even believe she wants to come to my wedding (granted, I did invite her). My FI thinks she's just taking advantage of the situation (not sure if that's true). Anyway, I know it sounds awful! I feel so mean even writing this!
                  Well don't its your wedding, you are paying its your rules lol

                  #49 WindyCityGirl

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                    Posted 27 January 2009 - 10:05 PM

                    Hey Rhonda, I'm sorry I wasn't trying to make you feel bad I was just trying to share another perspective. You should do whatever you feel comfortable with. I hope everything works out for the best for you! :-)

                    #50 WindyCityGirl

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                      Posted 27 January 2009 - 10:05 PM

                      Hey Rhonda, I'm sorry I wasn't trying to make you feel bad I was just trying to share another perspective. You should do whatever you feel comfortable with. I hope everything works out for the best for you! :-)




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