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If your parents couldn't make it..

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarieSam View Post
I think it definitely depends on the type of relationship you have with your parents ~ are you a close knit family? how important is it for them to be there? The other gals bring up good points too ~ why can't they go? Of course if it's illness or physical limitations there's truly not much that can be done. But if it's a matter of schedule conflict or monetary issues, maybe some tinkering of the date or location/venue can solve the problem.

This is truly a subjective matter that really depends on your own situation and set of circumstances. Personally, FI or I would not go forward on our DW plans without our parents ~ we both have very close-knit families and it means a lot to have them there. We both understand and appreciate that this day is about us, but we also know that the people we are today derives from the foundation that our parents have built for us. In our circle, a marriage is not only a bonding of our union but of our families, and luckily our families LOVE each other and have continued to vacation together for years now. So this is really a celebration we want to share with everyone there!!

But I think in every wedding, there are "must-haves" on the guest list, for us, our immediate families happen to be atop that list. wink.gif Are your parents a "must have"??
Very well said, MarieSam. I totally agree with you. My FIL is in a wheelchair and if he would not have been able to make it, we would have cancelled.

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I agree with MarieSam, it really depends on the relationship you have with your parents. For me, I don't think I could get married without my mom present.

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For us...we wouldn't....when we found out my mum was ill, we talked about changing the venue, to somewhere closer home...like cyprus. My mum passed away really quickly after this point...a matter of days...therefore we never had a chance to really discuss it. It was hard though, because we had put sooo much preparation into a mexican wedding.

 

But like others have said, it depends on the relationship you have with your parents, and also what you want out of your wedding day - if you don't mind looking back and not having the memories of your parents being there, well its fine.

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I guess it all depends on the reason. But from the get-go I said that if my mom said she could not make it (for a valid reason) then we would not do it, but if my Dad said no then we would go anyway (they have been divorced for ages - and I'm not nearly as close to my dad as my mom).

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When I told my mom that we had booked a resort in Mexico for our wedding, she was a flat out no. Flat out. I was crushed. She said she couldn't afford it and wouldn't hear of FI and I paying for her. We argued about it for days, I cried about it. And then I got over it. FI and I have been trying to plan a wedding for years. He's from IL, and I'm from MA. We had planned THREE weddings, only to have all our plans get rocks slung at them from our warring families. I think both of our sides wanted us to have the wedding in their backyards...and no one wanted to travel. This was the second DW we'd planned...so we finally just said we're doing it, and that's that.

 

So it really does depend on the reason. I am sad my Nana won't be there, as she's too old and ill to travel, but she's happy for us and will be at our AHR. I still feel guilty about it, but she doesn't want me to. Make sure you have a good conversation with your parents. Even if they can't make it...maybe they'll still want you to be happy and to go ahead with your plans. Then, you'd have to figure out if that's acceptable to you!

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And PS: once my mom realized I wasn't going to change my mind, and once she talked to her mother, she called me and apologized and said she'd do her best to be there. It all works out in the end!

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Nope.. I wouldn't.. I watched my parents get left out of my brothers wedding.. his bride was a total bag.. and my parents didn't have any idea what to do the day of the wedding and were to go since NO ONE TOLD THEM..

 

So for me.. I consider my wedding.. very much there wedding.. mind you my opinions and how I want things will rein supreme.. but not without some comprimizes...

 

My parents said they couldn't afford to come to my DW... So I had to decided how badly I wanted to be married on a beach.. Ultimately I wanted to be married in Mexico bad enough. that I am covering thier costs (with no guilt trip) and paying for all thier insurances, transfers and lots of extras (luggage, water shoes, etc).

 

As we are paying for our own wedding my parents costs are adding alot of $$ but for me it's worth it.

 

p.s. no one except immediate family knows I am covering thier costs.. cause it's a pride thing, as my DAD is 76 and is very much old fashion.. but I am happy I can give them this holiday...

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My situation is different. This is my second wedding and I'm in my mid 30s with 2 teenagers. My fiance has never been married but is extremely shy...he wanted it to just be us. I am very close to my parents and my sister (as in I see them almost every day)and he's close to one of his brothers but since I'd already been married, both of us felt that it was appropriate to have a dw with no guests.

 

I did, however, want a WEDDING because this, really, is my first one...my first legal marriage was not a good one. If we had gotten married closer, it would have become a circus as I have a large extended family and my fiance didn't want that. We are going to have a party in the spring when it's warmer...it's not exactly going to be a reception but it kinda is and that part satisfies my family.

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