How much should I spend on my gifts to my bridesmaids?

[lolkitteh]

Recently, I discovered from reading other etiquette boards, that you are supposed to pay for bridal party travel and lodging, BUT, in modern times, in practice, this isn't always done. My attendants (we only have a MoH and BM, who is a woman) already booked and paid for travel, so I am paying for everything else wedding-related. I actually felt kind of bad about this, because I had a feeling that I should have offered to pay for travel beforehand, but my MoH was quick in getting a good travel deal and wanted to go anyway!

 

We will pick up everything else that is a wedding-related expense, so in essence, they won't pay for anything else that a normal guest wouldn't pay for.

 

So in the end, I will pay for "Day of" hair and makeup ($155 per person), and MoH dress ($300). I am also buying manicures and pedicures ($110 per person) the day before and getting them the regular "thank you" gifts, for which I've budgeted around $200. I bought some pearl and topaz earrings and an estee lauder collectible compact for my MoH. We will also ask the photographer to get individual "glamour shots" that don't look too wedding-like so that they each have hot pictures of themselves all made-up which we will present in nice frames (IE, pictures just for them and their SO's to enjoy that don't necessarily look like they were in a wedding!)

[MarieSam]

Maybe it's just me but I don't think there should really be a "guideline" or "according to etiquette" price tag when it comes to giving your bridal party gifts. I think gifts are given from the heart and should be based on each bride/groom's budget. In essence a destination wedding in itself is outside the norm of the traditional wedding format, so I think it should be contingent on what you feel is appropriate. Of course I'd love to give my gals the world and spoil them rotten, who wouldn't? But I'm not gonna break the bank because some book tells me to.

 

In my case, I have 10 bridesmaids, including my maid of honors and my junior bridesmaid. I also have 2 potential flowers girls (they're not 100% coming at this point). If I went along with the guideline I'd be totally broke therefore etiquette can kiss my ass, lol. So instead I have collectively bought things that I have seen along the planning process that I thought the gals would like -- proudly most of them during super duper sales!

 

1) bamboo bags $5.00 each (sale)

2) day of clutches $6.00 each (sale)

3) their wedding shoes - ranges from $18 to $32 each

4) wedding reception flip flops to match their dresses - $2.50 each (sale)

5) beach wraps - got these for a ridiculous sale at $1.50 to $2 each

6) tank dresses $7 each (sale)

7) body butters $1.50 each

8 ) palmer's cocoa butter lip balms $1 each (ebay)

9) paying for half of their wedding day makeup/hair $35 each - yep I got a fabulous deal for a traveling hair/makeup artist!

10) deliciously scented candles $1.88 each (sale)

* thinking about getting pashminas for the gals too!!!

[Soon2beWed09]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tbriley22 I bought my girls a matching garment bag, duffle bag, and large cosmetic bag. I bought it from the $5 sale on american bridal last week, so that only really cost me $25 including shipping (I didn't monogram, as neither of them are married yet and initials change!). I'm putting make up for the wedding day, Big Sexy Hair spray, body wash/lotion/spray from Bath and Body Works, manicure set, sunscreen, nail polish, make up remover, and I can't remember what else in the cosmetic bag. Flip flops and a beach towel will be in the duffle bag. I may add a clutch, so they have a lot of goodies that they can use in Gulf Shores, but also when we are back home too. I'm also having their dresses custom made, and giving them wedding jewelry. We are probably also getting a mani/pedi once we arrive. I have two attendants, and we are also providing travel and lodging accomodations. We don't have a big budget, but I wanted to pamper my girls as I'm the first in my immediate circle to get married. It's important to note that I'm a bargain shopper; I use my Bath and Body coupons to get lots of free stuff!

Great minds think a like because I brought my girls the same garment bags..

[*Nadine*]

I think too much thought is going into this.. Just do what you as a bride feel you can do. Everyone has a reason for spending what they do, whether its $50 or $500. Some people get married young, some old, some have people helping them pay for the wedding, others pay for themselves. Don't look so much at the 'ettiquette/tradition', look at what you personally can do. I think thats all that matters, cause in the end (like many have said) its a GIFT and it should come from the heart, not become a burden or stress.

[JaimeLynne]

Well said, MarieSam & cdnvb9

 

I don't think my girls are expecting much, and I know they will appreciate whatever I can do for them. My BM was blown away that I offered to pay for her dress, and tried to refuse it. And when I offered the same for her hair the day of she again tried to refuse. I still ended up providing both because I really appreciate her being there, and felt good about being able to do these things (she is a broke grad student).

 

My MOH has also been happy with everything that I've done for her (though she never tried to turn any of it down! HAHA smart girl ). Even though she is older and has a full time job, I know she still struggles with money yet wouldn't miss my wedding for the world and I love her for that.

 

Anything I can do without breaking my own bank just feels really good to "give back".

[Lindz]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarieSam Maybe it's just me but I don't think there should really be a "guideline" or "according to etiquette" price tag when it comes to giving your bridal party gifts. I think gifts are given from the heart and should be based on each bride/groom's budget. In essence a destination wedding in itself is outside the norm of the traditional wedding format, so I think it should be contingent on what you feel is appropriate. Of course I'd love to give my gals the world and spoil them rotten, who wouldn't? But I'm not gonna break the bank because some book tells me to. In my case, I have 10 bridesmaids, including my maid of honors and my junior bridesmaid. I also have 2 potential flowers girls (they're not 100% coming at this point). If I went along with the guideline I'd be totally broke therefore etiquette can kiss my ass, lol. So instead I have collectively bought things that I have seen along the planning process that I thought the gals would like -- proudly most of them during super duper sales! 1) bamboo bags $5.00 each (sale) 2) day of clutches $6.00 each (sale) 3) their wedding shoes - ranges from $18 to $32 each 4) wedding reception flip flops to match their dresses - $2.50 each (sale) 5) beach wraps - got these for a ridiculous sale at $1.50 to $2 each 6) tank dresses $7 each (sale) 7) body butters $1.50 each 8 ) palmer's cocoa butter lip balms $1 each (ebay) 9) paying for half of their wedding day makeup/hair $35 each - yep I got a fabulous deal for a traveling hair/makeup artist! 10) deliciously scented candles $1.88 each (sale) * thinking about getting pashminas for the gals too!!!

Im so impressed!! Do you have any suggestions where to find some of the great sales listed above??

[binzer]

ok, new questions! Does the MoH get something extra, and if so, how much extra?

 

Also, how much are your FIs spending on GM?

[binzer]

ok, new questions! Does the MoH get something extra, and if so, how much extra?

 

Also, how much are your FIs spending on GM?

[MarieSam]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lindz Im so impressed!! Do you have any suggestions where to find some of the great sales listed above??

Aww thanks, well I do have to say I'm a total bargain shopper so I'm constantly looking out for deals and buy nothing without it being on sale! Also, I started shopping for my gals about a year before my wedding so that gave me plenty of time to hunt for the best prices and capitalize on "season end" deals.

Let me see if I can run down my list and remember where I got everything...
1) bamboo bags $5.00 each (sale) -- those were from Target and I found em at the end of summer 08
2) day of clutches $6.00 each (sale) -- found these online at oldnavy.com and used a coupon to make it even cheaper
3) their wedding shoes - ranges from $18 to $32 each -- 6pm.com has great shoe deals, endless.com is another good one. shoes are always on sale on both sites.
4) wedding reception flip flops to match their dresses - $2.50 each (sale) -- another oldnavy.com deal they were 2 for $5 for metallic flip flops
5) beach wraps - got these for a ridiculous sale at $1.50 to $2 each -- this was an ebay special, i bought these in bulk and will be giving some away to the ladies attending the wedding. i compromised on pricing with the seller who just wanted to get rid of them
6) tank dresses $7 each (sale) -- another oldnavy.com special with a coupon!
7) body butters $1.50 each -- Target dollar spot, now that I think of it these were actually only a dollar a piece
8 ) palmer's cocoa butter lip balms $1 each (ebay) -- ebay, look for things in bulk
9) paying for half of their wedding day makeup/hair $35 each - yep I got a fabulous deal for a traveling hair/makeup artist! -- found her on project wedding, made a deal because i have a super huge wedding party!
10) deliciously scented candles $1.88 each (sale) -- pier one imports clearance sale
* thinking about getting pashminas for the gals too!!! -- still searching for these as well as garment bags, which a previous poster mentioned and I think is a great idea!!!

[*Nadine*]

My MOH is my sister so Ill be treating her to something at the spa, as well as my mom and my FMIL. Other than that she will get the same as my bmaids. My FI is spending the same on his groomsman as I am on my bmaids - buying their pants (and maybe shirt) and then getting them a gift.