18 replies to this topic

[Dayla911]

My life has been going so well....I got engaged last week, started my diet and have been planning my wedding (hopefully at the Excellence Riviera Cancun) for September. I knew that something, somehow, was going to make my high come down.....

Today I get a message that my childhood best friend died in a car accident 2 days ago. How could I be happy in my life when she doesn't even have hers anymore? I feel kinda guilty that I am planning the happiest moment in my life.

Thanks for letting me vent. Everyone seems so nice....

[Yari]

Oh no, I am so sorry for your loss. That is very sad.

I think feeling guilty is normal, but know that she would want you to live your life to its fullest.

[Corvette79]

So sorry for your loss. Think of it this way, she would be very happy for you! And I am sure it has made you really think about not letting time pass or taking things for granted. Regards!

[Mylee84]

I am so sorry for you loss! I am sure she would not want you to feel guilty but to enjoy the happy moments.

[MarieSam]

I'm so sorry for your loss, I can only imagine how heavy your heart must be right now.

There have actually been many BDW members who have experienced great loss in their lives during the wedding planning process, and I think the recurring advice has been to take time to grieve. Whether that means taking a break from the planning process for a short or extended time ~ definitely take some time off. At the same time, cherish your friend's memory and celebrate her life.

I know there is a sense of guilt in continuing to plan something so wonderful when you are amidst tragedy, but I think everyone will agree that our loved ones and friends -- whether they remain here with us on earth or in heaven above -- would ultimately want you to be happy. I honestly think your friend would want you to keep your head up and keep your heart filled with joy as you continue to plan your cherished wedding day* Keep smiling girlie, and again warm hugs

[LadyCheese]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss...I know its tough on you right now but I agree with everyone else in that your friend would want you to be happy as you plan your special day. keep your head up.

[Dayla911]

Thanks everyone! I have been at work all day and can't really get on the phone or anything. I have a job that I can't leave and its hard. I just want to curl up in the bed and cry. And my FI just made an arrest and won't be home until late after we get off. :-(

[ErinB]

Marie said it best. You need to give yourself some time to grieve. You need to honor her and her memory but then move on as she would want. If nothing else, these tragedies teach us that life is precious.

If she is someone who would have been part of your wedding, the forum has lots of ideas for memorials.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Kat81]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Go home and take a nice hot bath and relax.

[edssbride09]

I too understand how this feels... the morning of our engagement, we found out that a good friend passed away of cancer... 6 months after diagnosis, at only 30-years old. FI went ahead with the proposal because he believed it showed more than ever that you need to appreciate every moment we have... the ones we lose will never begrudge us of that... i am sure your friend would want you to celebrate every moment...