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Want a bridal party but no one to ask

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#11 kevsgirl

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    Posted 10 January 2009 - 02:18 PM

    I have 2 sisters and DH has 1 brother. If his bro hadn't been such a flake, he would have asked his bro and my 2 sisters would have been on my side. Uneven.
    As it was, he didn't have anyone and I had 2 BMs (my 2 sisters) and one stood on my side and one stood on DH's side.

    Why don't you have your 3 sisters be your BMs and your FI have his dad be his groomsman.
    Have 2 sisters on your side and 1 next to your FI's dad.

    It doesn't have to be even or properly matched.

    I'm so glad I had my sisters be my BMs. I didn't have a MOH. I could never pick b/w them. They were just so happy to be up there with me and no one ever asked why we did what we did.

    Do what feels right.

    #12 ErinB


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      Posted 10 January 2009 - 04:25 PM

      I haven't read the rest of the posts, so sorry if I repeat.

      I'm really sorry you are going through this. In general I don't have very many really super close friends. It was hard when it came time to choose my BP and I had lots of issues with it.

      It's ok to not have a BP. I say if you really do want one, then choose the person you feel closest to. It sounds like your friends from NC were there for you when you needed them. If they can make it to the wedding, why not ask?

      I'll be in MI in about a month visiting my family (Canton/Dearborn/Westland area). You'd have to drive, but I'll go dress shopping with you!

      Hang in there! BDW can get you through anything!

      #13 kate.com


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        Posted 10 January 2009 - 06:17 PM

        Here's an idea...
        why don't you just wait to chose a MOH until closer to the date. Whomever you feel closest to, or has helped you out the most will be your undisputed MOH. And if there is more than one, oh well... or none oh well. Just because his dad is his bestman doesn't mean that you can't have more or none. He can sit in the front row instead of standing up the whole time if it works out better... can still hold the rings and do everything that a BM does. So basically what Im telling you is that YOU make the rules. But since there is no obvious contenders right now, wait until the time is right.

        I think there are more brides out there that wished that they would have waited to chose their bridal party until later in the process. Only main problem is that you might not be able to order certain dresses, but if there is only one or 2 you can go to the store... and summer clothes are just coming out- jcrew has cute sundresses year round.
        Hope this helps~

        #14 nbhelms

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          Posted 11 January 2009 - 12:31 AM

          I'm so sorry! I hope everything works out for you! I'm sure it will!

          #15 BarefootBride

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            Posted 11 January 2009 - 03:21 AM

            Well, I didnt have a bridal party. In fact only DH's mom and dad paid to come (until the agent took our money and ran... another story)
            We did it without anyone. It was extremely romantic. It was so relaxing and casual and I remember EVERY moment like it was yesterday. I felt like no one was talking me to death or trying to get my attention. I didnt worry about a thing when I got there. Since I had no guest I didnt even have to worry about making them happy. It was just about me and DH.
            I did go through a sad period when I really wanted a bridal party. Its natural.

            #16 SgtPepperette

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              Posted 14 January 2009 - 11:35 AM

              I just wanted to thank everyone for your responses. You ladies have gave me tons of ideas to go on. I had a talk with my FI and we decided that we will make a final decision closer to the date. But my FI said he will just be happy if it dads makes it at this point, but not a huge deal to have his dad stand up as his best man. Maybe I read into it to much, or my insecurities started flying once I heard him casually say how hed like his dad to be his BM. Lovely being a girl sometimes eh? lol

              Thank you once again BDW for calming me down, and reminding me that I can make my own rules/traditions at my destination wedding :)

              #17 fudgie

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                Posted 14 January 2009 - 05:55 PM

                Glad to hear that you are working it out! I am also not having a BP. Both of us have friends that we were really close to and friends now that are just friends. We felt that it didn't feel right for us to have a BP because we weren't really sure if there was actually friends close enough. I also have two sisters that I am very close too but I didn't want to ask them because FI didn't really have anyone he wanted to ask. When I told my sisters that I wasn't having any BM their response was that that was already what they assumed - to keep it casual and intimate! So it worked out great for us. I know that my sisters will be there to help me as much as I need without them being BMs.
                My suggestion is keep doing what feels right for the two of you :)
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                #18 endlesslove

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                  Posted 18 January 2009 - 12:14 AM

                  I had the same problem. I didn't have anyone I thought was MOH material and that close to me who I would choose. I have two wonderful girls as my BM's. They're from different states/countries and won't be able to celebrate with me the way normal BM's would. But, they're friends and they're willing to spend the money to come to my wedding.

                  How about just doing BM's and having your FI just pick groomsmen?

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