FMIL Christmas Rudeness . . . I have had it!!

[Kat81]

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvtoteachlaw Yes - we are going to distance ourselves from her, and yes I am very pleased that she isn't going to be staying with me during the wedding week. The unfortunate part is that it means she will be staying with the rest of fiancee's family, which includes his mother's sister and his grandmother. They can't stand her either.

Maybe she should look into getting her own Villa or hotel or something. That way everyone can enjoy your wedding. GAH what a piece of work this lady is.

[DanielleNDerek]

This woman sounds like pure evil. She's incredibly rude and always looking to put someone down. I would not give her one bit of wedding planning information. Just give her what everyone else gets, the invitation. that's it. If she calls you I wouldnt answer. She has no right to tell you what color or what style dress is appropriate for your wedding. That's not her decision. You only have one attendant her daughter? Than i'm sure when you go to look at dresses with her you would get one that looks fine on her. did you even pick them out or is she already complaining about things you havent even picked out yet? What an effing beyotch.

 

You guys need to stop being nice to her. If she treats you and fi this way she'll probably treat your kids this way too. Do you really want your kids to be around someone like this? I would tell her it's your wedding and you guys are making the decisions not her. It's not like shes paying for anything. And i'm sorry to say this but your fi's dad needs to stand up for her. He shouldnt let her treat his kids that way.

[Mylee84]

ohh my gosh! she is an evil woman!!! when she asks about plans for the AHR or bridal shower i would just say we have it taken care of.... my mother is working very hard on it! im sorry you have to deal with her!! =(

[luvtoteachlaw]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kat81 Maybe she should look into getting her own Villa or hotel or something. That way everyone can enjoy your wedding. GAH what a piece of work this lady is.

I wish we could get her a villa by herself. Unfortunately, all the villas there are filled with other guests, and we are in a fairly remote location where the closest hotel is in Negril, about 45 minutes away. Of course, one of the reasons we are doing the villa thing is for privacy. Unfortunatly, that also means isolation with this woman.

[luvtoteachlaw]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanielleNDerek You guys need to stop being nice to her. If she treats you and fi this way she'll probably treat your kids this way too. Do you really want your kids to be around someone like this? I would tell her it's your wedding and you guys are making the decisions not her. It's not like shes paying for anything. And i'm sorry to say this but your fi's dad needs to stand up for her. He shouldnt let her treat his kids that way.

Yes. It is hard because you don't want to sink to her level and give her more reason to bitch at us and play the victim, which she loves to do. But I am a big believer that you give people respect when they give you respect, and right now, I don't think she has it in her to give anyone respect.

We have discussed that we don't want our kids around that kind of negativity, and will not subject ourselves to this kind of crap again. My fiancee is going to make a special trip to NY to talk with his dad privately and let him know his feelings about her behavior. Hopefully, his dad will step up and try to get some kind of control over this woman.

It is so much harder on my fiancee because it is just a reminder to him of how much his misses his mom, especially during the holidays.

[DanielleNDerek]

I think it's a good idea for fi to talk to his dad privately. Maybe they can come up with some resolution.

[YoursTruly]

WOW --You and FI deserve the Mother theresa (RIP) award for patience. At least once--just tell her off one good time and I GUARANTEE she will back down. Who the heck does she think she is!!

[Sapphire723]

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvtoteachlaw I also always try to hold on to hope that situations can get better, but frankly, I don't think it is going to happen here. I will never understand why people do such things and make it miserable for everyone.

I don't understand either. I don't know what traumatic event happened to her that made her think that that was ok. Go ahead and leave her out of the planning and all extras. If she says something about it, I would clearly tell her that it is because of the way she treats you and your fiance. If she isn't going to be nice, she isn't going to be included. End of story.

I can only imagine what is going through her head. She must feel that because nobody likes her anyway, she can go ahead and do as she pleases with no regard for anyone else.

I would also talk to her daughter to let her know that she is important to you no matter what her mother is saying. Talk to her about any concerns she may be having, and if she actually does have a problem, see if you can work it out with her. I'm sure that she knows her mom well enough to know that what she's being told isn't true or the whole story, but it's probably a good idea to clear the air with her.

[BachataBride]

Quote:

Originally Posted by YoursTruly WOW --You and FI deserve the Mother theresa (RIP) award for patience. At least once--just tell her off one good time and I GUARANTEE she will back down. Who the heck does she think she is!!

I completely agree...have it out with her! She's probably just like this because she is allowed to get away with it. If you stand up for yourself and tell her what a bitch she is being maybe she will not be so quick to put in her 2 cents. Tell her that not only is she driving you & FI away, but also her other children and family members. I know it's hard to stoop to her level and throw this at her...but I think that's what needs to be done.
Good luck hun...and try not to stress about it too much. FI is obviously on your side...and the 2 of you will work through it Don't let her ruin YOUR day!!

[JoLo908]

Slap her! Okay, maybe not... but, seriously... sit her down, and confront her on being so rude... she needs to be called out, but do it in a calm way...