what are his parents paying for?

[WPGBride]

My situation is that my FIs parents are offering to pay for quite a few things and my mom is not financially able to contribute much. I know this makes her feel bad, but its hard to turn down money. During speeches and what not am I supposed to give a special thanks to his parents or anything, or make them equal, even though they contributed much more towards the wedding.

[JessiTaylor]

For WPG bride-

Thank both of them and don't mention money specifically, otherwise your mum will end up feeling guilty that she didnt manage to contribute. Even if she doesnt have money im sure shes offering support, organisational help and a sounding board for ideas...and this is invaluable too!

 

My fiances parents offered unspecified money towards the wedding costs and my parents are offering to cover most of it. And my fiance and i have money too.

 

actually...since his parents offered to contribute, after i find out what they are willing to contribute how do i handle it? I refer certain bills to them? or they give me the cash since im handling all the payments. i know they offered but i feel a little odd about asking about the logistics!

[AllieH]

I agree with your advice to WPG bride. 

 

for you - I'd suggest having a budget summit with the FI to go over the wedding costs, and decide who you'd ask to pay for what since both parents have offered. If your family is ok paying for the wedding, perhaps his can take care of the cocktail hour, welcome dinner, or something like that. Or a cake, or certain decorations. Once you two decide how to divvy it up, then sit down with his parents and start the conversation with "we are so touched by your generosity, and have some thoughts on how you could contribute. what do you think about paying for x, y, z? here are the estimated costs. and no obligation, we just wanted to share our ideas with you."

 

would that work for your families? (I know everyone's relationships with families are different!!)
 

Originally Posted by JessiTaylor 

For WPG bride-

Thank both of them and don't mention money specifically, otherwise your mum will end up feeling guilty that she didnt manage to contribute. Even if she doesnt have money im sure shes offering support, organisational help and a sounding board for ideas...and this is invaluable too!

 

My fiances parents offered unspecified money towards the wedding costs and my parents are offering to cover most of it. And my fiance and i have money too.

 

actually...since his parents offered to contribute, after i find out what they are willing to contribute how do i handle it? I refer certain bills to them? or they give me the cash since im handling all the payments. i know they offered but i feel a little odd about asking about the logistics!

 

 

[JessiTaylor]

 

I might try something like that! just have a horror of seeming greedy, "soooooo, what do you want to give us then!?" i do  like the idea of just asking them what they want to be involved with rather than just telling them to pay for hahah.

 

ill get fiance to ask though, there are still some issues with the language barrier and i havent got a handle on the more formal/polite spanish

[stella331]

Nothing!!! lol they haven't mentioned helping out at all:(

[sgreen99]

My mom-/step-dad offered us $5000 to help (in that she wanted to buy my dress also), and asked if we would rather have them pay for something specific, or pay for one of my older brother's trip, who otherwise would not be able to afford to come.  Obviously that's what we want, hopefully they'll be a bit left over that would could apply towards something else, but not counting on it.  My dad cannot afford to help us, which I knew going in.  I didn't expect his parents (also divorced) to help us all (even though they BOTH make more than either of my parents) because they never have. But his dad offered to give us $4000 which is amazing, that will probably cover our diner, which is great.   Luckily we did not have to ask though, the parents that offered to contribute just did on their own. I think though at some point you just have to poll the audience and see if anyone had planned on helping. Maybe just come out and ask them?

We are splitting everything else down the middle between the two of us (trips, photog, wedding package, extras), we both planned on contributing around $6000. We'll see how that goes. Good luck!!

[beachbride2013]

FI's mom isn't paying for anything. We offered to pay for part of her trip and she declined. We aren't really expecting anyone to pay for anything. We aren't asking anyone for anything either.

[jello]

We are paying for our entire destination wedding ourselves, and then my parents and his parents are jointly throwing the at-home-reception.  They are paying for the entire AHR and organizing it as well.  I think the guests at the DW will skew towards our friends and a few close family members, whereas the AHR will be mostly our parents' friends and more distant family.  It works out well for us because our friends all travel a lot and are and excited about a destination wedding, but I think some of the older generation prefer to stay at home!