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what are his parents paying for?

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#1 mandalaybay3071

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  • 58 posts

    Posted 28 December 2008 - 12:25 AM

    Question, what are your fiance's parents paying for? Here is my dilemna. I don't have any family so I'm paying for the wedding myself which includes our plane tickets, all inclusive resort for 7 nights plus the cost of the wedding, all the oot bags, reception/wedding decorations - which is fine. All is costing me about $10K and I can swing that. What I can't swing is the $5,000 at home reception we REALLY want. Since the normal tradition is that the grooms parents pay for the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon, what do destination brides do? Is it acceptable for us to ask them to pay for the at home reception? If they really do want to stick with tradition, the cost of the plane tickets and 7 nights at the resort is about $5,000 as well but we thought it would be nice if the at home reception was given by them. Any suggestions/advice?

    #2 Anna83

    • Jr. Member
    • 288 posts

      Posted 28 December 2008 - 01:06 AM

      My FI's parents are giving us money to put towards our AHR. They offered to help us pay for that after we told them we would not be inviting all of the people they wanted us to invite because it cost too much. FI and I are paying for all of the costs for our wedding in Jamaica, as well as my brother and his girlfriend's trip to Jamaica.

      I agree, it would be nice that they would pay for the AHR, however, I don't think you can come right out and ask them to do so. In this day and age, I don't think parents are obligated to pay for their children's weddings, so it can be awkward to ask them to do so. It depends on what kind of relationship your FI has with his parents. If he feels comfortable to ask for help, then you can ask them. Maybe just hint around the fact that you would like to throw a party but are worried about money.

      Also, remember that while throwing an AHR costs money, you will gain a lot of the money back in gifts from your guests.

      Good Luck!

      #3 Hartyt509

      • Sr. Member
      • 2,262 posts

        Posted 28 December 2008 - 08:46 AM

        My short answer is bugger all!!! lol I have a bet on with my aunt that FMIL will give FI £20 lmao and I'm not joking she is that bad lol

        #4 Mrs D To Be!

        Mrs D To Be!
        • Sr. Member
        • 1,634 posts

          Posted 28 December 2008 - 09:37 AM

          We made the decision very early on that we wouldn't accept any money from anyone. h2b's family are in a much better financial position than mine was at the time, so i didn't want anyone feeling less a part of the wedding. Plus, didn't want to start having other ppl thinking they had a say over any of our plans. So short answer, nothing!

          #5 Jen_S

          • Sr. Member
          • 3,737 posts

            Posted 28 December 2008 - 11:24 AM

            My FI and I are paying for our all of our events. My mom bought my dress but otherwise we are picking up the tab. Good Luck!
            Our Honeymoon In Ireland!!

            #6 lilmisssunshine

            • Newbie
            • 105 posts

              Posted 28 December 2008 - 11:42 AM

              My parents are giving us about 10K which covers the AHR. The rest we are paying for (flight, resort, dress, etc). My fiance's family hasnt offered anything. That kinda stinks but we were really happy about the 10K from my parents so we will just have to make that work. We have talked about asking his parents to help with something but he feels uncomfortable with that so I guess we won't.

              #7 tylersgirl

              • Sr. Member
              • 1,681 posts

                Posted 28 December 2008 - 11:51 AM

                My FI parents are covering my FI and I's trip and hotel stay-about $6,000. My parents are paying for everything else...the wedding in Mexico, photographer, dress, AHR, decor, cakes, etc. My FI parents did say they would buy an ice sculpture for the AHR. They are really helpful and don't mind. I think in your case it would be nice if your FI parents at least chipped in for the AHR!

                #8 Banana11

                • VIP Member
                • 8,841 posts

                  Posted 28 December 2008 - 12:04 PM

                  They haven't offered to pay for anything. It's a awkward situation because my parents have given us money and it would be extremely helpful if FI's would offer to pay for a part of it like the appetizer/cocktail reception or something. But it's too weird to ask them to give us money. I was hoping by now they would have mentioned it. Especially because 5 of our guests are really their guests.

                  #9 Kelly C

                  Kelly C
                  • Sr. Member
                  • 2,051 posts

                    Posted 28 December 2008 - 12:33 PM

                    My parents paid for me, hubby, my daughter, them and my brothers trip. I had to make hubby talk to his parents to see if they were perticipating or not. they ended up paying for the flowers and beach set up. Which was about $600. They offered to help pay for our AHR (ours was going to be informal). But since now im prego we opted not to. Thought it would be too much.
                    Kerrington Danielle was born 6/23/09 12:31 pm 7lbs 14oz.


                    #10 Sapphire723

                    • Member
                    • 888 posts

                      Posted 28 December 2008 - 01:31 PM

                      So far, neither my parents nor my FIL have offered to help financially. However, knowing John's family, they will help in some way sometime.

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