Jump to content

how do you know when he's "the one"?


missdanelle

Recommended Posts

okay... so not to be a downer or anything, but I was hoping to get some other perspectives out there.

So I know this is supposed to be the happiest time in our lives right? So how do you know when the person your with is the one through thick and thin? Sure, everone has their moments and I know that things arent always going to be a brand new shiny penny...but when is it everyday struggles and when is it time to say maybe we should stop? I don't want to give the wrong idea here... My fiance and i are happy...mostly. We have a 2 year old son and he is our world! Its just sometimes I wonder if were just going through the actions because that what were "supposed" to do. I miss the way it was when we were first together (5 years ago). The way he used to look at me, tak to me... I ask myself alot if my expectations are too high and if its just me. We do love eachother and there is still alot of love there I guess im just hoping im not alone in questioning?! I mean...you only get married once!

Thats what i'm trying to aim for atleast (hence ?s).

 

So.. what do you think?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it's completely normal to have doubts; getting married is a huge, life-changing event. I think most couples experience this. In the end, you just gotta trust your gut. In the meantime, talk to your friends, family, and BDW members about your doubts and concerns; talking is the best way to achieve catharsis and then gain insight into your situation!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know a lot of married couples going through what you described. They look at my husband and I and say "Enjoy it while it lasts". It's scary! I guess one thing I know and makes our relationship work is communication. My husband is my best friend. I can tell him anything and he's very good at keeping me up to date.

Maybe talking about how you feel and then maybe rekindling the romance might work. Hopefully it'll bring back the sparks and you'll both realize you both are meant to be.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My FH just asked me this question last night.. 'ow do you know that this isnt just we're supopsed to do bc its the next step in our relationship or if we are really going to last forever..'i told him that at the end of the day.. who knows, you know.. BUT I KNOW that I love him more than anything.. that he's the most important person in my life.. I KNOW that I WANT to be with him.. that I'm so happy with him and can no longer imagine (nor do i want to) my life without him.. I KNOW that I want to be Mrs. Pena.. I WANT to be his wife.. I WANT to start our own family and make our own traditions as a married couple.. so we could only hope that this is IT, but you have to want it.. and I WANT it! No matter what happens.. the bad times are sometimes going to happen, but i dont want it to break us.. we'll work though it together like we have in the past.. He said to me.. 'That's all I needed to hear'.. I realized afterwards that he asked me to make sure that I was feeling good about taking the next step and that it's not just what we're 'supposed' to be doing..

 

so.. think / talk this out.. with him, your family, your friends, yourself.. is he the one that you really want in the long run.. does your gut tell you that this is it? It might not always be a fairy tale the way some people make it out to be.. but it might be right for YOU.. which is most important! Good luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know that my FI is the one because he has never ever in three years made me cry sad tears (I cried when he proposed, so I consider that happy tears).

 

After three years, he still looks at me the way he did when we first met - and in return I do the same. I don't mean to say this is easy - it IS a conscious effort, because we are committed and believe that marraige is a life long comittment.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel like I have many different perspectives on this issue. First, I was engaged before (to someone else) and called off my wedding. Second, I practiced family law for six years prior to teaching and I saw all kinds of things that cause couples and families to implode. Lastly, now that I have met "the one" I now realize how right this is for me.

 

Almost ten years ago, I got engaged to someone that I went to college with, but did not date until four years after graduation. I thought at the time, I was 27 and it was time to get married . . . he was a "nice" guy and my family liked him. Frankly, I convinced myself that this was a good step for me . . . until I actually had to pick out the vows for our ceremony. In attempting to do that, I realized that I couldn't say any of these vows and mean them the way a person should on their wedding day. I tried to ignore these feelings, but as the day approached, I felt increasing DREAD. And that is exactly the word. Not nerves, not doubts, but DREAD. And that was totally what caused me to call the whole thing off. I could have never went through with the wedding; if I had we would for sure be divorced or at the very least very unhappy. Ending that engagement was one of the best decisions that I ever made, and even though I spent significant time after that feeling lonely and dating people who were not very good for me, I have never regretted my decision. I really got to know myself during that time and I learned what I need and want in a partner.

 

As a family law attorney for six years, I saw most divorces occur because of one simple reason: inability to communicate. Most people didn't know enough about themselves to know how to communicate their needs to their partner, and many didn't know how to effectively respond to their partner's needs without feeling "put upon". I usually suggested therapy for my clients so they could figure out why this situation happened and how to prevent it from happening again. Otherwise, there is a high probability that they will keep making the same poor choices over and over again. I would see some people marry the same type over and over (alcoholic, physically abusive, selfish, cheater, etc.).

 

When I met my current FH, I just felt that "click". I have a very clear memory of the first time we talked on the phone and how I felt that our communication was different and really comfortable. We are very similar, and that works for us. I can't imagine my FH not being in my life, and I cannot imagine how anyone could measure up to the wonderful man that he is. I don't have him on a pedestal or anything because he does make mistakes, as we all do, but I know that he is a good man who is committed to me and our future together.

 

I don't know if any of these insights help you - I don't have a situation where a child is involved so I don't know how things would be then. I do know that many couples who were divorcing tried to stay together for the kids. Unfortunately, it just ended up screwing up the kid more than if they had just gotten divorced when they knew things weren't going to work out. A child should see a healthy relationship so that they can recognize it as "normal"; if a child sees nothing but fighting and abusive behavior, they will seek out that type of realtionship when they get older because it feels "right".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In the beginning things are different because they're new and exciting. Every day you learn more and more about your partner and things they do surprise you. As you progress through your relationship that "new" excitement fades and you're left with the relationship that you created. Being married, being inlove and having a positive and good relationship are a choice to a certain extent. You choose daily what battles to fight and which to let go. You choose to put effort into your relationship, or not. Its a choice all the way not a right or divine intervention. Alot of divorces (although not all by any means) happen because people give up and choose not to fight for their relationship. Personally some of the initial excitement has passed for my FI and I as well, but he is my best friend and the only person I would ever want to be with. We have our issues, but we work at them every day, and are commited to making our wedding and relationship work. That's my 2 cents wink.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for starting this thread...

 

I think it's very normal & healthy to ask yourself these questions. In fact, yesterday I went to visit with a friend and brought up this issue.

 

I've been with my FI for 3 years. This past year we have been together every single day. His dad became very ill & FI resigned from his job. I stayed home from my job for support.- Fi dad passed away in September.

The "spark" in our relationship is definitely gone right now.- It's not always easy...

But at the end of the day I know that my FI is my bestest friend. In my past relationships I never considered the guys I dated to be my "friend". I think that's the big difference in guys I "dated" and now the man I'm going to marry. Fi and I actually COMMUNICATE- good or bad. And this is the man I want by my side for the rest of my life.love.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

wow. Thank you all for everything. It is soo nice hearing the different perspectives. Aside from my friends and family ya know! Its also very comforting to know that what I am going through is very normal. By no means are my FI and i yelling at eachother or fighting...I just have a habit of questioning everything. Especially when it has to do with the REST OF MY LIFE! I have taken a little from each of your responses and I think that in the end it will all be just fine. Bottom line is that we need more communication. thank you all again, sincerely. I really appreciate it! Look forward to hearing what anyone else has to share!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • [b]Сайт Кракен – лучшая торговая площадка Даркнета [/b] Сервис Kraken – лучший магазин Даркнета, где продаются разные позволяющие расслабиться препараты, фальшивые документы и деньги, можно заплатить за доступ к чужим личным данным и аккаунтам. Клиентам обеспечивается полная анонимность, а количество магазинов всё время растёт. [b]Покупки на Кракене[/b] На Кракене можно найти такие предложения: • Несколько видов наркотиков – от марихуаны и стимуляторов до ЛСД и кокаина. • Обналичка Bitcoin. • Взломанные аккаунты ВПН. • Услуги хакеров. • Паспорта, удостоверения, водительские права. • Банковские карты и симки. • Фальшивые купюры – в основном, 1000, 2000 и 5000 руб.. • Оборудование и приборы – от скрытых камер и жучков до флешек для взлома. На сайте можно и найти работу. Например, стать закладчиком, химиком или гровером. Можно стать продавцом. [b]Преимущества сервиса[/b] Причины для выбора площадки Kraken: • Полная анонимность клиентов и владельцев магазинов благодаря расположению в сети Onion. • Применение криптовалют в качестве денежной единицы. Это гарантирует анонимность всех транзакций. • Доступ к покупке сразу после оплаты. Закладки уже доставлены – нужно только забрать. • Минимальный риск мошенничества. Проблемы можно решить обращением в поддержку сайта, доступную 24 часа в сутки. • Система рейтинга, которая позволяет сразу отсортировать лучшие магазины. • Доставка в разные города РФ и соседних странах. Список доступных мест содержит сотни наименований. Клиентам сервиса можно бесплатно использовать дополнительные услуги. Круглосуточно они могут получить консультацию у юриста или нарколога. А если появились проблемы – обратиться в техподдержку, которая тоже отвечает круглосуточно. Ещё одна особенность сервиса – собственный форум. Вход из расположенной вверху панели сайта. На форуме есть основные правила, новости и информация от других посетителей. А ещё результаты площадки и раздел для общения доставщиков товара. [b]Способы перейти на Кракен[/b] Сервис, который продаёт психоактивные вещества и поддельные документы, запрещён контролирующими службами. И зайти на него, обычным способом не выйдет. Для доступа следует использовать зеркало, браузер Тор или VPN-сервис. Сервис ВПН – вариант, вариант, позволяющий обходить блокировки сайтов. В том числе – на площадки в Darknet. Преимущество метода – защита связи, возможность изменения данных входа только в браузере или всего компьютера. Недостатки – замедление скорости и небольшой размер бесплатного трафика. Второй способ – специальный браузер Тор. Чтобы зайти на Кракен понадобится специальная ссылка, заканчивающейся на .ONOION. Плюсы – отсутствие оплаты и принцип «луковичной маршрутизации», недоступный посторонним IP и отсутствующая история посещений. Минус – сравнительно медленный доступ. Зеркала сайта – тот же сайт, который расположен по другому адресу. Отсутствуют отличия от основной страницы. Есть возможность запуска в обычном браузере. Зеркальные версии будут работать, даже если временно недоступен официальный сайт. Недостаток зеркал – трафик не скрывается, а посетитель может попасть на фейковые страницы. Потому список зеркальных версий следует брать на надёжных сайтах. Есть такой перечень на наркошопе Kraken https://kraken-v2tor.info/magazin-kraken-v-telegram.html и тематических форумах. [b]Регистрация [/b] Чтобы пользоваться сайтом нужно пройти регистрацию. Это позволит совершать покупки, использовать форум и дополнительные услуги. Для регистрации нужно выполнить несколько несложных действий: 1. Зайти на сайт и указать проверочный код. 2. В форме регистрации ввести логин, пароль и имя. Логин – английскими литерами. Имя вводится и на русском. 3. Завершить регистрацию и подтвердить согласие с требованиями площадки. После регистрации идентификаторами можно пользоваться для входа в кабинет. Здесь показываются данные о заявках и оплате, предложениях скидки, настройки аутентификации. [b]Совершение сделки на сайте[/b] Совершить покупку на сервисе Kraken можно за несколько простых шагов: 1. Указать населённый пункт в выпадающем списке. По умолчанию там стоит место, выбранное при первом входе. Можно указать метро и район города. 2. Найти нужную категорию в меню слева. Указать вариант доставки – например, закладку или прикоп. 3. Познакомиться со списком доступных магазинов. Выбрать подходящий вариант и перейти на его страницу. 4. Познакомиться с отзывами. Если покупателя всё устраивает – перейти к покупке. 5. После перехода к форме заказа указать подходящий вариант. Это может быть Биткоин, карту или телефон и даже игру в рулетку. 6. Получить адрес клада и взять товар в указанном городе и районе. 7. Написать отзыв, чтобы другие посетители знали, что товар качественный – или были проблемы. 8. Запомнить магазин в «Избранное» чтобы было проще заходить из профиля. Покупая товар, стоит познакомиться с особенностями сделок. При появлении проблем покупатели могут открыть спор где будут участвовать админы. Правда, в первый раз купить можно только на криптовалюту BTC. Если выбран вариант «рулетка», открывается доступ к игре. Это даёт шанс заплатить меньше, делая ставки на поле из 100 клеток. Ещё один вид экономии – купон. Он подходит для оплаты не больше 50процентов стоимости покупки. [b]Гарантии отсутствия обмана[/b] Обращение на Кракен позволяет рассчитывать на качество продукта. Показать клиентам, что вещества соответствуют требованиям сайта, продавец может, заказав сертификацию. При прохождении проверки сведения о сертификате будут показаны вверху карточки. Гарантия отсутствия обмана – возможность подтвердить заказ в течение 24 часов. Когда покупатель убедился, что клад на месте, он закрывает сделку. Если возникли проблемы – можно открыть спор. Когда виноват продавец, средства будут возвращены клиенту. У магазина ухудшается репутация, а частый обман приводит к бану. Поэтому некачественного товара на торговой площадке практически нет Отзывы kraken shop Kraken маркетплейснарковалютная наркомаркет Kraken Рынок Кракен наркорынок Кракен в анонимной сети kraken market резервный адрес Kraken даркнет маркет Долгопрудный Площадка Кракен в тор Kraken даркнет маркет Сыктывкар Kraken даркнет маркет Арзамас Kraken даркнет маркет Владимир Кракен Казан Читаева магазин Kraken даркнет маркет Севастополь наркорынок на Kraken Веб-сайт Кракен Kraken трейдинг Магазин Кракена Kraken наркорынок Кракен сайт Москва как войти на сайт Кра?кен официальный
    • Очень интересная тема, спасибо за полезную информацию! Если кому-то близка тема шаманизма, энтеогенов и растений силы — рекомендую заглянуть на один интересный ресурсКто-нибудь пробовал шаманский табак мапачо или ритуал с камбо? Есть хороший ресурс с описанием этих практик — [url=https://ayana.asia]синаптолепис кирки [/url]. Хотелось бы узнать ваше мнение!
    • Hi everyone! I have been doing lots of research on various wedding venues all around Mexico, my fiance wants a destination wedding and I am happy to have a wedding wherever so long as the vibe is right and guests are happy!  I have been seriously looking at Cabo Azul and was trying to find potential costs for them, but only found a page about their wedding costs from 2010. Does anyone have any updated information on costs / reviews they would like to share of this venue? Or advice in general, anything helps. Thanks so much, happy wedding planning to all!
    • Have you ever considered having a wedding inside a bubble? With the current global situation, many couples are looking for unique and creative ways to celebrate their special day while keeping their guests safe. A wedding inside a bubble could provide a whimsical and intimate setting for your ceremony and reception. Imagine saying your vows surrounded by a beautiful bubble filled with twinkling lights and flowers, creating a magical atmosphere for you and your loved ones to enjoy.
    • Adult only resort or not? Let's discuss the pros and cons of choosing an adult-only resort for your honeymoon. While some couples may appreciate the peace and quiet that comes with an adults-only environment, others may prefer a more family-friendly atmosphere. What are your thoughts on this? Have you had any experiences at adult-only resorts that you'd like to share? Let's hear your opinions and recommendations!
  • Topics

×
×
  • Create New...