Have a Happy Period! Lol
Posted 03 December 2008 - 06:54 PM
>This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company
> Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets
> rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors'
> choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.
> Dear Mr. Thatcher,
> I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years
> and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard
> Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding
> or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down
> the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be
> your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart
> enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I
> can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a
> little F-16 in my pants.
> Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you
> haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type,
> I can already feel hormonal forces violently s urging through my body.
> Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be
> transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly
> with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
> As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt
> seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your
> customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know
> about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our
> intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You
> surely realize it's a tough time for most women.
> The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just
> crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to
> the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping
> so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I
> opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing,
> were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
> Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny
> middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing
> happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything
> mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?
> FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be
> anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on
> Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't
> march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a
> sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
> For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a
> moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say
> something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or
> 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong',
> Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective
> immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have
> chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will
> certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your
> brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
> Always. . .
> Wendi Aarons
> Austin , TX
Posted 03 December 2008 - 07:25 PM
This really made me laugh!
Posted 03 December 2008 - 11:41 PM
Posted 10 December 2008 - 12:55 PM
0 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users