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Have a Happy Period! Lol


KAMAY11
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I thought this was cute....

 

>This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company

> Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets

> rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors'

> choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

>

>

> Dear Mr. Thatcher,

>

> I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years

> and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard

> Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding

> or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down

> the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be

> your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart

> enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I

> can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a

> little F-16 in my pants.

>

> Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you

> haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type,

> I can already feel hormonal forces violently s urging through my body.

> Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be

> transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly

> with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

>

> As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt

> seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your

> customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know

> about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our

> intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You

> surely realize it's a tough time for most women.

>

> The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just

> crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to

> the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping

> so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I

> opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing,

> were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

>

> Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny

> middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing

> happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything

> mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?

> FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be

> anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on

> Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't

> march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a

> sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

>

> For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a

> moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say

> something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or

> 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong',

>

> Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective

> immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have

> chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will

> certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your

> brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.

>

> Always. . .

>

> Best,

> Wendi Aarons

> Austin , TX

 

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