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Holidays with the In-Laws

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40 replies to this topic

#11 Banana11

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    Posted 03 December 2008 - 11:54 PM

    It's such a tough adjustment for sure! FI & I deal with it every year. Now we are down to trying to do one day with his family and the next with mine. It's hard to give up the times with my family, especially because I am an only child. I feel the pull to be with them and I also feel terrible leaving them alone on any holiday. My advice, don't ever have just one child...LOL! Okay, seriously, you'll have to compromise and make it as fair as possible so there is no hard feelings. What about Christmas Eve with his family and then make the drive at night and do Christmas Day with yours?

    #12 -Kate-

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      Posted 04 December 2008 - 01:15 AM

      We do Thanksgiving at his parents house (but my parents come for just the day) and Christmas with my parents. It helps that he is Jewish and my family is so tiny T-day was never a huge deal for us.

      #13 Cattie

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        Posted 04 December 2008 - 01:43 AM

        Both of our families do our big thing on Christmas Eve. For the past 10 years, we've had to compromise. FI is his mothers only child, which makes it hard, but she realizes that I have a family also. So this year, we'll do the Eve at his parents, then go up to my family on the day. Next year we will reverse it. This is what we've done every year for the past 10 years.

        Now once we have kids, we will rotate each Eve, but if you wanna see us on the day, you better be coming here, cause I'm not moving out of my jammies and putting together kids toys on the couch!!

        #14 Jenn79

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          Posted 04 December 2008 - 01:20 PM

          In the past, we did a rotation thing...his parents one year, mine the next. This year I took it upon myself to invite everyone to our place for Christmas dinner, both his family and mine. We all live in the same city, so it's easy enough. While it looks like it should work this year, once more of us start having kids it's going to get tricky. I've already heard through the grapevine that a few of the siblings and significant others aren't impressed, but this is what happens when families grow and expand, it just starts to get too difficult to work around everyone.

          Keeping my fingers crossed that everyone finds a good solution, and that I haven't cursed myself by taking on the responsibility myself!
          Jenn & Timm, May 10, 2007
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          #15 Soon To Be Mrs. Gomez

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            Posted 04 December 2008 - 06:43 PM

            I know this is hard. I have similar issues during hoidays, but I have been able to split time equally. I don't stress too hard about this issue right now, but I do worry about when we have children because I know that all parents will want to share time with the kids that is going to be a battle in itself. I hope to negotiate time better when children arrive. Especially because my future moter-in-law i so demmanding. She is going to have to change her attitude somewhat.

            #16 Inked1

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              Posted 04 December 2008 - 09:21 PM

              We usually do Thanksgiving at our house w/ my parents, his dad, brother and aunt. His paternal Grandmother does a Christmas party the week prior to Christmas . Christmas eve is with my parent's at their house, then Christmas day with his Mom, Uncle & maternal Grandmother.

              It splits it up nicely and makes sure we still see everyone. I don't usually see my sister or my aunts and uncles as they mostly live on the west coast. My mom's brother (also my godfather) comes to Christmas eve as well so I do get to see him.

              #17 Hartyt509

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                Posted 06 December 2008 - 09:21 AM

                Mine is really easy lol

                My dad lives on the otherside of the world and hates xmas anyway so i ring him and he's happy - although he whinges about it being xmas lol When he was here I would go to my aunt's I couldn't cope with him being so miserable all the time.

                Since my dad left we have xmas at my house and my aunt comes up for xmas day. FI is in the army so if he gets it off its rare so his family shit out (shame!! lmao). He's going down in a couple of weeks for a couple of days but i'm not going thank god lol I can't think of anything worse than spending 24 hours with FMIL lol

                Problem will be if we have kids, cause she can go screw herself if she thinks she is landing her and her hubby on us lol

                You just have to do whats right for you and FI and they have no choice to but to accept it, start now tho and stick to it.

                #18 petunia

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                  Posted 06 December 2008 - 02:13 PM

                  Keep in mind, from someone probably the same age as most of your parents, that when your parents were newly married they had to go through the same adjustments. You might want to remind them that they probably upset one set of parents each holiday as well.

                  It's nothing new. All new couples and families go through it.

                  #19 BajaBride2010

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                    Posted 29 December 2008 - 10:26 PM

                    Hello Fellow Brides & Brides to Be,

                    I couldn't do it...I know I am wrong for not compromising but it is so hard for me. I am not only and only child but my mother is also single now. I could not leave her and go enjoy myself knowing she would be alone. I just had to get this off of my chest.

                    Needless to say, this caused a big uproar because he sent Thanksgiving with me and I did not show up for Christmas at his parents' house until 7pm.

                    And for those wondering, it may have been simple for both my mother and I to go to his parents' house but my mother is a home-body and prefers entertaining at her house. So that was out of the question and no persuaded could be done

                    #20 Ana


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                    Posted 29 December 2008 - 10:53 PM

                    my FI's family lives in BC and mine lives in Ontario...5hr flight. We decided 3 years ago to spend one year with one family and the next with the other, however any family member that wishes to come with us from eachother's side is welcome to. The first year we spent with his family, the second and third we spent with mine (this year was because of circumstances not choice) but last year his sister came out and spent it with mine, so Michael wasn't totally alone. And this year both his sister and cousin came it was wonderful!! so lovely having our families get along.

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