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groomsman passed away - not sure what to do now...

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#11 KatyKo

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    Posted 03 December 2008 - 05:15 PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Our wedding party is going to probably be un-even and I think that is okay. Our weddings are so non-traditional with everything else, so why follow the tradition of an even wedding party?

    My FI is going to wear a memory frame on is bout to remember is grandfather...maybe your FI could do this as well so that he will be by his side like he was suppose to be.

    Again, so sorry for your loss.

    #12 Jacilynda

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      Posted 03 December 2008 - 05:21 PM

      I'm so sorry to hear this! I hope you both are doing well! I would leave the space open. Either just leave a space. Or you could set up an easel type thing w/ a picture, like in Armageddon. Personally i think its best to leave it open for him.

      #13 Jess

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        Posted 03 December 2008 - 05:30 PM

        I'm really sorry to hear this I think I would probably leave the space open to honor him - but I would leave that up to your FI since it was his friend.

        #14 Nanner431

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          Posted 03 December 2008 - 05:57 PM

          This definately isn't the same situation but I wanted to remember my grandparents that had passed away in some special way so I had my bouquet made up with 3 special flowers - one for each of them. My whole bouquet was blue and then there were 3 yellow roses. Maybe you could do something like that in your bouquet. I didn't tell very many people about it because it was something that not everyone needed to know but we knew in our hearts that they were there with us.

          #15 jessyg20

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            Posted 03 December 2008 - 06:31 PM

            I'm really sorry hear this. I can't even imagine how you and your FI feel.

            I do like the idea Katyko suggested. If you and your FI decide you want the brother to step in then maybe he could wear a frame around his boutonniere in his memory.

            It is your wedding day, and whatever you decide will be respected by everyone.

            Sorry again.

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            #16 kate.com


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              Posted 03 December 2008 - 07:41 PM

              I think it is nice that you are leaving it up to him! I don't think it looks funny when there is an uneven amount of attendants- especially in your situation. Anyway you go would be great!

              #17 Rob&Sue

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                Posted 03 December 2008 - 08:45 PM

                What a horrible situation. I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how difficult this is for you and your FI.

                It's a very tough decision your both facing on whether or not to get a 'replacement' groomsman. Like most, I think leaving the space open is completely appropriate - and definitely okay, if that's something you and your FI is okay with. If you both decide you want to fill the spot, I think that's okay too.

                Doing something to honor the friendship at your ceremony might be appropriate. I like Nanner431's idea of including special flowers in the bouquets a lot. I think it's a wonderful way to honor and include him in the ceremony... but in a subtle way - so that the ceremony doesn't shift its focus from a celebration to a memorial.

                So sorry again to hear about your loss. You have our deepest sympathy and support.
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                #18 scoutley

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                  Posted 04 December 2008 - 02:02 PM

                  Thanks for your ideas... I guess it wouldn't be so bad if we had an uneven number. I like the special flower idea, maybe for the groom boutonniere. Thank you!
                  What a PERFECT day it was ...

                  #19 Shay2679

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                    Posted 04 December 2008 - 02:12 PM

                    I just wanted to offer my condolences as well.

                    Two years ago, my cousin(Don) was killed in a car accident two weeks before his little brothers (Brian) wedding.

                    At the ceremony, the bridal party was uneven, and Brian, and the remaining GM, all wore shoes with a capital "D" on the side (my cousin owes a skateboard shop, so they have them made). EVERYONE at the wedding knew Don, and knew the loss the family was dealing with, but...it was remarkable to me at the time, how the day really was a celebration...both for my cousins marriage, and for Don's life. It was beautiful.

                    During the Grooms speech, he did make reference to his brother a number of times, but it didn't detract from how excited he was for this day! During the slideshow, there was also a few pictures included of Don and Brian together.

                    I think added your own personal touches, things that remind you of your friends, are not only a way of honoring them - and keeping it low key, but for anyone at the wedding who knew them as well...they will recognize the effort you have made to include them, as planned, in your special day.

                    Good luck, and again, our condolences on your sad loss.

                    #20 Geralyn

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                      Posted 12 December 2008 - 11:26 PM

                      I'm so sorry that you both have to go through this...it's a terrible situation. I think that you will work it out together and whatever you choose will be fine.

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